No more cardigans

From the people who brought you the hate-on for Uggs, here's another rant on a bad fashion.

I hate cardigans. Nobody should wear cardigans.

Men mostly don't wear cardigans, but the ones that do are unbearable. I know old man sweaters are what all the hipsters are wearing these days, but they look so, so stupid. Because make no mistake, they look so dated on guys that even actual old men don't wear them anymore. Only hipsters who end up looking like dicks.

Women are the real guilty ones, though. On women, cardigans are dowdy and aging. I know people say they make you appear polished if you wear them in a twinset, or dressy for dressy occasions, or more appropriate in button-down situations like church or an interview or dinner with the new SO's parents. But all they really accomplish is to make you look boring and prudish. The statement they make is either, "I am a modest older woman who thinks they make me look neat and presentable when in fact they signal I have given up any idea that I am still attractive," or "I am a shy girl who is uncomfortable with myself, and probably dressed by my mom with the intention of keeping me a Good Girl." Even if you see a really attractive woman in a cardigan, it'you never think the cardigan does anything to make her look good, she's still pretty in spite of it. They only encourage you to look dull, dated, and unsexy. I don't care if they're modest or work-appropriate or even warm. There are so very many more attractive options that do all of those things. Hell, there are so very many more sweaters that are more flattering and just as warm and polished.

Please, people. Boys, you'll look like a hipster with no taste. Girls, you will become frumpy and old before your time. Do yourselves a favor. Don't wear cardigans.