Nearing tech week for Sherlock Holmes!

I turned down a part I got in a show today. That's the first time I've done that except in undergrad when I was choosing one show over another, back in the day when it was the etiquette to do so. The role was Dolabella in the Gazebo Players summer production of Antony and Cleopatra, directed by the awesome Debbi Finkelstein. I've always wanted to work with her, but the role is small and I am called for an awful lot of rehearsal given that, which when it requires an hour round-trip of driving just seems like too large a commitment of time. It would have been fun, but I will have just too much grad school work by then to take away time from working on it for a part I don't feel passionate about. I just hope I sounded polite and gracious when I declined. I still would really like to work with Debbi as a director someday, as I've heard she does good work.

This is a picture of me with our Sherlock Holmes. Tonight is the last Holmes rehearsal before tech week begins. I have enjoyed this process immensely, and I feel really good about the show. Having this role has been great for me. I got it strictly by giving a good audition, rather than people knowing me already, which made me proud of myself. And getting the chance to dig into an interesting character and develop a complete performance To be honest I find this conception of Irene in the script to be a little nonsensical if you scrutinize her too much, but I've reconciled and made her my own.

Lenny said to me a little while ago that she thought my best performances were the ones where I didn't need to worry about projecting the opposite gender-- specifically, Cordelia, the Fool, and Puck. Something I've always wondered was if my acting was hobbled a little by having to distract myself with projecting a masculine carriage. Also, because I am so willing to cross cast, I think I get automatically discounted for female roles sometimes because there's always girls who insist that they absolutely can't play a guy. :-P And then most people tend to not want to cross cast important male roles, which means I don't get considered for those either, which limits me further. I should probably just quit saying I'm willing, though I hate the idea of making myself sound so delicate. But it's been nice to get a real role who's a woman for once and be able to concentrate all my energy into acting the character. Also, it's kind of flattering to have gotten it. It's fun getting to be the Pretty Girl. Don't get me wrong, I've loved me my dude roles, but especially given how down I'm been feeling about myself, it's made me feel good to know that people think I make a believable embodiment of a brilliant, singular woman with "a face a man might die for." ;-)

The cast and crew have been great too. They're all really nice and extremely talented, pushing me to try and do better so I measure up to them. I would be happy to work with them again anytime. Even if you're coming to see me, it would be worth it to come to see them.

Six homework-free weeks to DO ALL THE THINGS!

After a fun but intensely packed weekend, my six homework-free weeks have officially begun! What do I plan to do with this glorious time, do you ask?

What ALL THE THINGS do I intend to DO, you ask?

- WRITE! There are three things that I want to focus on now. I want to noodle a bit on Break a Leg, my short funny metatheatrical larp. I want to work on back-engineering the work I did for the Tailor screenplay to finish the audio drama version. And I want to make a little headway on Mrs. Hawking. Next semester I'll be doing playwrighting again and I think that is what I would like to work on then. If I make a little headway on it now, maybe I can have enough of it done to submit pieces for my workshop manuscript for the residency.

- GARDEN! I want to plant the three daylilies we took home as favors from Nat and Vik's gorgeous wedding. I've never grown plants myself before, but my dad is an avid vegetable gardener and keeps lots of decorative flowers and trees in the yard, so I'm sure he could instruct me on how to raise a few pretty lilies. I'm not sure what color they are; orange is my favorite, but the yellow and the burgundy-red kinds are beautiful as well. I need to buy a planter and some potting soil.

- READ! I read constantly for entertainment, but it's mostly been blogs and the Internet and stuff. The books I've gotten to read for school, such as A Wizard of Earthsea and The Rhinoceros Who Quoted Nietzsche and Other Odd Acquaintances, have reminded me how much I'm missing out on. Bernie lent me Mistborn, so I guess I'll start with that, but I want to read at least one, maybe two real books this month.

- EXERCISE! I've been doing about one really hard workout a week, plus going to the Tuesday night ballet class that my rehearsal doesn't conflict with, but that's not enough. Now that I can spare the time, and I am going to get as much exercise as I can before I get busy again. I keep saying I'm going to do this, but I need to actually get off my ass when I don't have an excuse not to!

- DANCE! Going along with the exercise thing, I want to practice ballet. Also my INSANE GEEKY STUPID IDEA is that I want to choreograph an  Avengers-themed dance piece to the movie soundtrack, and even if that never goes anywhere, it's powerfully in my head right now and working on it at the very least will get me dancing and exercising! As lediva* wisely said, you always feel better going with that feeling of inspiration than you do regretting that you never went for it.

- SEW! I want to finish my Gertie crinoline 2.0 and the plaid skirt I drafted a while ago. morethings5* has gotten going with his sewing blog Gathering Pins and it's inspired me. The only way to progress is to practice, and I know I have the chunks of time necessary to really dig into my projects.

This may all be too much for just six weeks of free afternoons (my evenings are still pretty booked up) but I'd rather shoot for the moon and see how much I accomplish!

YAY THINGS!

Assignments and IDEAS

So close. So very close. I was a productivity machine this week, plowing through my projects one after the other. All I have left to do is finish my fiction piece for my final assignment of the semester. After that, I am done with all assignments for six weeks. Six glorious weeks of no homework, no deadlines, no projects except those I assign myself.

I brim with ideas. I have so many ideas for things I want to do and to make, and I want to make use of those six weeks to do a little something of them. A particular INSANE GEEKY NONSENSE idea has taken hold of me and begs me to do something about it, so maybe that will be early in the queue, if I  can get over what INSANE GEEKY NONSENSE it is.

Also, I am going out for things. Auditions, applications, submissions. I have a bad track record of getting anywhere with just responding to postings with things like cover letters and stuff like that, but I've got to keep trying, and it's one of the only ways I know how to. I dislike talking about going for things that never end up amounting to anything, so I won't be specific, but I'm putting myself out there. God willing, something will emerge.

Just one more thing to go. Eight pages of fiction to hand in on Saturday. Not really that much at all, but I'm a little stuck on what to write about (some piece of Fallen, I think, but I'm not sure which one) which makes it tough to dig in. Also, the brain is a little burnt from how busy I've been. But after this I will be finished, and hopefully going on to other ideas will re-energize my brain.

It is so like me to want to work on everything under the sun except the assignment that's due.

My new routine

In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis writes very eloquently on the damning situation of being trapped between doing neither what you SHOULD do nor what you WANT to do and therefore wasting your life in a rut of doing nothing. As is so often the case, Jack manages to explicate the matter very clearly for me, as lately I find myself in this situation quite a bit.

As I mentioned recently, I have been having a real problem with focus these days. When it comes to doing work, particularly for school, I've been encountering an amazing amount of difficulty buckling down to a task and getting anything substantial done. Long periods of time that I mean to use for work often just drift into space-out time where nothing meaningful is accomplished. Because I feel guilty for not getting my work done, I feel like it's unjustified for me to spend that time doing something I'd actually like to do instead, so I end up losing all that time to pretty much doing nothing. I'm not sure what's the cause of it-- tiredness, frustration, something else entirely? --but I hate what it's doing to me. It's a point of pride that I've never missed a deadline in my life, but I never used to be a procrastinator, and I'm pretty sure all that rushing at the last minute is pushing down the quality of my work.

So I am going to put myself on a new schedule. I am a creature of habit in the extreme, so when I get into a habit I tend to stick with it pretty closely. My work hours did in fact get pushed back by one hour, so I'd better make the best of it. Now is as good a time as any  to build a new routine.

I'm going to keep getting up at seven like I have been. And I'm going to get a workout in as soon as I get up. At least a half hour of activity. That will give me enough time to get cleaned up before work. It will also get the workout thing out of the way early, so I won't have it hanging over me for the rest of the day.

I will bring lunch with me to work. That way I won't go crazy with hunger or fill up on junk. I'll either prepare this the night before or leave enough time to stop at the grocery store before work. This will also eliminate the need to figure this out after work, which will delay eating further and keep me from moving into the next thing.

I will spend two or three hours of every afternoon working on homework. I will mark this time on my schedule so that my calendar reminds me. If I work for a relatively short period like that every day of the week, I will not have to focus for too long at a stretch and the frequency will keep the work getting done.

I will also schedule time to make dinner more often. My being so busy and unfocused on top of it has kept me from doing this. Consequently I'm not eating very well, nor have I enjoyed one of my favorite hobbies in a pretty long time. Making an effort to shop for groceries for the week instead of randomly when I need something (a longstanding bad habit of mine) will help this, I imagine. I think I will take some time one day out of the week to plan meals and buy supplies will make me much more efficient in this.

Well. That's going to be a pretty big shift from the haphazard, rushing way I've been carrying on lately. But it's really not working for me, I miss my more organized, focused life. So I think I need a radical shift to knock me out of this rut.

If Screwtape drags my ass to hell, it sure isn't going to be for wasting my life on TV Tropes.

A leaf at the mercy of winds greater than me

Grumble, grumble. It's looking likely that my hours at work are going to be moved back. Currently I get in at eight in the morning and leave at one, which has been convenient to my early-bird tendencies. By one o'clock I'm usually so hungry I can't think straight anyway, so it makes for a good stopping point. I also like having the entirety of the afternoon left open for homework, because the later in the day it gets, the harder it becomes for me to get any mental work done. But now I'm going to be working from 9AM to 2PM, which if given a choice I would not want to change to.

*Sigh* It's just one hour, so I guess it's not that big a deal. But I don't get a lunch break because I'm there for such a short period, so I'm either going to have to start bringing lunch in with me or else wait another hour, which with the way my metabolism seems to work would be very unpleasant. It will probably take me a while to really get into the habit of planning ahead for that, because I haven't had to so far.

Maybe I can take advantage of this. Maybe I'll keep getting up at seven like I have been and just use that extra time to get a daily workout in. In the past I've been best able to stick to a frequent workout routine when I got up early and did it before work. So I guess I could make this work for me. Still, it disrupts my current routine. Of course nobody consulted me, but this is my job, it's not supposed to be set up for my conveniences. I am a leaf at the mercy of winds greater than me. I should just be grateful I have a job that lets me work the part-time I need to be conducive to my academic responsibilities but still manages to be decent.

Leisurely week

This should be a good week. It had a great start with my day trip with Jane and a nice President's Day with Jared, and looks to be good from here on out. I finished my first assignments for both screen writing and science fiction and fantasy, which means I have about three weeks until the next ones are due and therefore no particular pressure to spend all my time on them. My plan is to go to help out with Titus build in the afternoons and then have nice leisurely evenings. I'm not going to ballet this week because the schedule is altered and there won't be beginner classes offered, so I have more time Tuesday and Thursday nights. My plan is to cook healthy and delicious dinners, work on homework but not spend all night on it, maybe get a workout in, and continue on through my sewing book. That will keep me productive but still allow me to take it easy. It's not often that happens for me for a solid work week.

The pros and cons of regimenting my time

I am very much a creature of habit. I fall very easily into patterns and follow them like I'm on rails. Sometimes this can be a very good thing for me. When I was in undergrad, getting up at 7:45AM every day to get to the gym by 8 to work out for exactly thirty minutes, take a ten-minute shower, then dress and get to class by 9, I did it every damn day but Sunday. It was my routine, my pattern, and once I was in the groove I followed it determinedly. I get chores done on a regular basis because I keep the same schedule for them week after week. When it works, it works for me. Unfortunately, tough as it is to knock me out of a habit, once I'm out, I am out. A new habit is formed of living absent the old behavior and that becomes equally difficult to break.

Sometimes I think I need to put myself on schedules for more things. I have never really had a bedtime routine, for example. I am familiar from television that apparently normal people wash their faces and brush their teeth and suchlike before they go to sleep, but I frankly crash so hard when I get tired I pretty much just collapse, especially lately. Doesn't leave a ton of time to "prepare" for bed. It's a good thing I don't wear makeup or have contacts, because I'd go to bed with them still on so often that I'd spend my life as a keratitis-plagued acne-crusted pig. I sleep in my clothes on top of my still-made bed probably more often than anyone that doesn't have alcoholic blackouts.

Now that I've convinced you that I'm a slovenly piggy who can't handle basic tasks of self-care, I bring this up because I wonder if forcing myself into a greater level of routine would help me do more of the things I want to get done. Not just stuff like taking better care of my skin, but going back to regular workouts, blocking off time to write, to sew, to practice ballet. Because I know that getting into habits enables me to do those things. There are so many things I want to do, and I feel like so often I waste the time I have to do them because my time is not regimented well enough. I hate that feeling of having enough time to do the things that feel enriching but not using it.

The flipside of that is that I'm a bit afraid of locking myself into too many routines. I know how much I come to sink into them and depend on them. I can see myself losing what spontaneity I'm already inclined, little enough as it is. Or stressing myself out even more trying to stick to it. I suppose I could try it, and if I don't feel better for having done it, I can always retreat into laziness to break the habit.



Overwhelmed

Stressed out. The quickest way to throw me off my stride is to give me long days with lots of running around to various places, which has basically the definition of this residency. Plus there's all the stuff I have to get done in addition. Schoolwork, chores, project commitments... I am really feeling pressed here. And everything feels like a mess today. I went out of my way to make it so I could go to ballet tonight, but due to some unexpected scheduling things and forgetting other things in the rush, I don't think it's going to work out, so I went through a lot of trouble for nothing. I am so busy and have so many things to do I don't know where to start. My brain is fried, and even if I do manage to buckle down on something, it just feels like I'm taking time away from something else. I know I need to make a plan, but I don't even know where to start.

Pondering my next direction

Now that the semester has ended and Merely Players has wrapped, for the first time in ages I find myself without a large project before me. It isn't as if I have nothing to do. I have plenty of chores that fell by the wayside in the last week-- I need to upgrade to the new iPhone, figure out why there's an immunization hold on my class registration, and take my car in for service --but no large endeavors currently on the docket. So now I find myself pondering my next direction.

I should probably just enjoy not having a deadline or heavy intellectual responsibility for a while. That state never lasts long, and it might be a nice recharge period for my tired brain. I've always found mental work enormously more demanding than physical work, which probably explains why I tend to keep up with day-to-day responsibilities so well and have to focus so hard on my real work endeavors. But I feel bored and useless if I go too long without a project, so after a short rest period, I should probably buckle down on something new. The only question is, what shall that new project be?

I am considering working on Imperium, my new idea for a larp. It would be nice to shift away from theater writing for a little while, which has been my primary preoccupation. I did a count recently and I have brought my number of completed works up to four one-acts and four ten-minute plays. Of course, I have been thinking a lot about the theatrical pieces that I wasn't able to submit for any class assignment, specifically Mrs. Hawking and The Tragedy of Sundan. I like these ideas very much and believe I can create something truly great from them if I put my mind to it. Maybe now's the time to devote to one, or both, of those.

Of course, maybe I need to switch gears entirely. I haven't worked on my sewing in weeks now. Getting good at something like that requires practice, and the biggest obstacle to that has been not having any time. If my evenings are mostly free again, I could really dig into that. I went with Plesser and Caitlin to help him pick out a Real Grownup Suit this past weekend, and watching the tailor mark out the adjustments he would make for fitting renewed the spark of my enthusiasm for it. It would please me to make some progress learning there.

I also want to get back into a regular workout schedule. I have been pretty careful with the calorie counter recently, and I actually like how mindful it's made me of my food choices. I feel healthier and like I'm dropping a little weight already. But that's not really enough, I should be trying to be more active too. Having work in the mornings, homework in the afternoons, and rehearsal in the evenings was really not a schedule conducive to getting to the gym. But with less occupied time, I want to get back to a good routine that includes practicing ballet. Another thing I want to work and get good at.

So, Imperium, Sundan, Mrs. Hawking, sewing, or something else? What do you guys think?

My tragic pattern

I can be such a dumbass. Whenever a due date for school comes up, I end up feeling like I don't have enough time and spend the last handful of days leading up to it killing myself to get my analytical responses and my dramatic writing done. I have trouble using bits and pieces of time to get anything done; it requires a mental shift for me to do buckle down into the work, which means I need a decent-sized chunk of time to really dig into my assignments. And when it's finally done, I feel so brain-drained I want to take a break for a few days... after which point, there's ANOTHER due date just a few days away again, and I'm back in the same situation. *Sigh* On top of that, I'm trying to figure out what promises to be the most complex, delicate, and elaborate blocking for Merely Players, which I want to have ready to teach the cast by this Sunday's rehearsal. Speaking of which, does anybody have any time during the day on Saturday to maybe help me work some of the choreography out? In case you're wondering, yes, though not precisely the same, this does technically qualify as "all my shows must have a dance!" ;-)

Please let this coming week be calmer...

At last, the week of ceaseless theater and theater prep is over. I went to all four shows of As You Like It, which turned out to be a thoroughly enjoyable production. There was lots of good acting and great humor as I was hoping there would be, and it was also nice to be reminded just how good Jared is. I haven't seen him act in a while, and I was incredibly proud of the performance he turned in as Oliver, the hero's wicked elder brother who reforms by the end to marry the heroine's cute cousin. He seems to have enjoyed it too, as they were a great group to work with and he very much liked his part. usernamenumber too is particuarly worth a mention in his hilarious portrayal of Touchstone who was easily everyone's favorite part of the play. My favorites of his line readings were his scary-heavy-metal-voice "DOTH MY SIMPLE VISAGE CONTENT YOU?" and "Thou art in a perilous state, shepheeeeeeeerd!' The picnic on Saturday made it even better. We ended up in a group of over twenty people, with lots and lots of delicious food to share. It doesn't get much better than combining three of the best things in the world, food, friends, and theater.

I hope this coming week is lower-key. Even if I'm enjoying the things I'm doing, constantly having to run from one thing to the next is a surefire way to stress me out. I'm still a little residually edgy. But on the plus side, I will soon be able to release the cast list for Merely Players, which I am very excited for. Had a very productive meeting with Dave to make sure we were on the same page, and I think things are going to work out very well. He was great to talk to and I think he'll be great for everyone involved in the show to work with. My parents are also coming in, and I know they're going to need my help with some stuff they need to get done while they're here. More work, I guess, but it will be nice to see them. Here's hoping I get a minute to catch my breath after the week I've had.

Things to do this week

Looking at my calendar, for the first time in quite a while I see a free and clear week with no commitments on the schedule. This will be nice, as I have a number of things I'd like to accomplish this week.

First of all I intend to spend quality time with Jared, who after a long week where we barely saw each other due to his work schedule then spent the weekend in New York visiting kamianya*, so we haven't seen enough of each other lately.

Next I would like to get going on the painting of my bedroom. As I mentioned, the place is a pretty brain-gnawing bright orange color, way too intense for the room I spend most of time my at home in, so I decided to paint. I bought a gallon of a nice light blue shade, a color Disney's paint line calls 100 Acre Morning, which I chose because it has a primer already built in. I'm hoping that will completely cover the orange without requiring a dozen coats. My dad put a package of paint supplies in the mail this morning with the intent of my receiving them tomorrow, which means I can spend the week working on it. Anyone who'd like to drop by to lend a hand, your company would be much appreciated, and I will of course repay your efforts with home cooking.

Thirdly, I must prepare for my upcoming residency period for starting grad school. I have only one week of classes to attend, but it will be intense. The residency schedule looks to be grueling, a solid block of classes from 9AM (or 8:30, in some cases) to 6PM for nine days. It's been two years since I was last in school, and certainly even longer since I had to pay that kind of attention for that extended a period. Hope I'm up to it. I also need to make sure I've done all the preparation and signed up for all the things I should have this week. I'm a little nervous, as I'm seeing things that I don't know how to take care of right now, but I guess I can send e-mails to faculty and ask for direction.

Those are my priorities. I am not totally ruling out any other sort of activity, but it will have to be fitted in around these.

Projects for this summer

As is typical of me, since I had some empty time ahead of me, by seeking some endeavors and amusements I have already set to overfill it. So now is the time when I choose my projects and stick to them, rather than collecting a million and feeling overwhelmed.

So. Tuesday I had my Gazebo Players Comedy of Errors audition. You will recall that this is the company I did Love's Labor's Lost with the previous summer. This time Jared and I went out together, and though we have not yet heard back, there is a reasonably high likelihood of both of us getting in. In my fantasy I will get Dromio of Syracuse (the Dromio I haven't already played) and he will get Antipholus of Ephesus, as those two interact the most, so we will get to use our knack for portraying a master-servant relationship that is interesting, close, and relatable. At any rate, if we indeed get in, we will be rehearsing for a show from the near future until the first weekend of August. A SHOW would then be committment number one, mostly of the time variety.

Also, as I have mentioned, I am rededicating myself to the work of playwrighting this summer. This will be supported and indeed mandated when I begin grad school for it the last week of June. I have already begun work on a piece meant to be after the style of Shakespeare called Justinian and Theodora, telling the meeting and early life together of the two Byzantine rulers. So committment number two will be PLAYWRIGHTING, as a larger part of completing my requirements for grad school.

Thirdly, I am becoming more and more interested in learning how to sew. The more I read about it, the more I dream of doing it myself. My mom has said she will even send up her sewing machine so I will have the proper tools to practice with. Though I know I will have to start with easy stuff like any beginner, already I am fantastizing about making all the interesting costume pieces I currently lack. So committment number thre will be learning SEWING, as I think it's about time.

Those will be my primary projects over the next few months. Though of course there will be time for socializing and entertaining and fun things like that, I will have to decline to take on any other significant endeavors. For example, that means I will not work seriously on any new larps for the time being. Anything else will have to be of the extremely casual variety, that will not take away focus from these three things.

Fancy party achieved

Yowza. After that weekend, I am burnt. I literally did not stop doing things from my 8AM wakeup each day to my 2AM bedtime each day. So, non-stop activity and a fair bit less sleep than usual. It was great fun and I am incredibly glad I took part in everything I did, but I am as blown from these last two days as I have been from entire weeks in recent time. I am having a hell of a time focusing at work today, but fortunately the dumb little mistakes I keep making have not really hurt anything, and I have caught and fixed them as they occurred. Still, I really want to just go crash somewhere and bum around for the rest of the evening. My busy state came in part from helping beloved friends formerly of the Citadel move to their new place in Watertown, as well as a lovely jaunt to the International Steampunk City, but most of it was due to planning and preparing for my long-awaited fancy party.

The fancy party went, as I hoped it would, wonderfully. The food was fabulous, with much thanks to lovely helpers Gigi, laurion*, Michael, and blendedchaitea*, who heroically stuck it out with me the whole six-hour prep period. The outfits were lovely, all sharp suits and elegant dresses, and I made good on my threat to change outfits every hour. Everyone looked fantastic, but costuming highlights of evening come from the fact I have amazing friends who aren't afraid to shake things up-- no fewer than two couples, both the wonderful captainecchi* and electric_d_monk* and the fabulous thefarowl* and Plesser, came with the lovely lady in the sharp suit and the dashing gentleman in the elegant dress! It was so fun and funny and it amused me to no end. Also,lightgamer* and twilighttremolo initially showed up in pajamas to get me back for the one time they came massively overdressed for a regular old dinner party of mine because of a joke I'd made about "proper attire"-- well played, dear ones, well played!

I love throwing these things. I love playing hostess and showing my friends a good time. I wish I had room to invite every awesome person I know and the budget to feed them all! Unfortunately this may be my last large party for a while, as my new house Illyria will not have the same volume of entertaining space. Well... we'll see. Dinner parties will definitely continue-- in fact I'm seriously thinking of hosting one a week with a rotating guest list --and I still may be able to throw parties on a slightly smaller scale, though probably with a strict attendance cap. But I do so love entertaining, and really need to keep on with it due to the joy it gives me.

More walking



Now that the weather is finally warming back up, I think it's time to rededicate myself to the resolution to start walking whenever possible rather than jumping in the car. I can't bear the cold, so I drove everywhere to shield myself from having to spend time outside. But God knows I need the exercise, though I did manage to work out four times last week. Let's see if I can do at least that well this week, even though when I'm really in a groove I can do it six. But also quite pressing is the rising prices of gas, which haven't been this high around here for ages. I could really do without spending that chunk of change on so regular a basis. The only trouble is time-- I certainly don't mind the effort, I actually actively enjoy walking places, but it can be so much more time-efficient to drive instead. Often my life is so tightly scheduled (as yesterday was, yowza) that I just can't spare the minutes in my already packed day plan. The solution is probably just to not overschedule myself, but knowing me that is easier said than done. I do better, especially with the emotional hole I've had such a hard time digging myself out of these last few months, when I have more going on, more things to do, more projects to work on, more things to think about.

Today when I got out of work Jared and I walked the mile to the grocery store and back, so that's something already. :-)

Scheduling madness

My schedule is about to be loaded up again soon. The next three nights will be full of pleasant social, and then I've got one more light week before I get slammed with all sorts of fun but demanding events.

During the day on Saturday I'm in a last-minute larp, a run of Two Hours in London for all the people who've been wanting to play but haven't yet. I have a costuming hint but no character, but I'm not terribly troubled. My costume is not going to be amazing since I don't really have many pieces in the Victorian way. When I have cash that is something I would be interested in rectifying, but for now I can throw something together. blendedchaitea* has very graciously offered to lend me her black tiered skirt, and I have a bodice or two I can wear over a blouse for something that looks vaguely appropriate.

After next week is Othello tech week which I have promised to help out with. I actually really enjoy tech weeks, despite how much work and time they require, because I love the process of everyone working together to put together a piece of theater. It's also a rare occasion which I get to build things with tools and learn more physical skills. I imagine it will be helpful to have an extra pair of hands who doesn't have to worry about being ready to go onstage as well. I'm so excited for the set for this show, which is going to look and work differently from anything HTP has ever done before. The costuming and makeup, too, I expect to be phenomenal, so I can't wait to get a look at it.

The week after that is prep for Festival, which will happen the following weekend. I'm so excited to see how the first con I've ever chaired comes out. Things are looking good, except for one or two games I am still exhorting people to fill. I have done a significant chunk of the printing for The Stand, but most of the packing will have to get done that week. We still must figure out what game will be running in what space, but that won't be too hard once we have all the data we need.

After that comes tech week (after a fashion) for Magic at Midsummer, followed by the performance. I cannot tell you how amused I am to have a calendar item that says "undress rehearsal." ;-) One thing I've been really looking forward to is getting to rehearse with the full cast. Thus far we've only each done our own pieces, more or less at the right times in the song, but I really want to see what the whole thing looks like all put together. It'll be easier to learn cues that way too.

And that is my next month or so. Yowza. It strikes me that I would like to have a party, after all this madness is over. A fancy dress-up party, with tasty canapes and people in snazzy clothes, for the purpose of celebrating my general fabulousness. I find this a worthy and amusing endeavor. More updates to follow as I figure this out.

So much to do...

God, I feel overwhelmed. Not as completely depressed about life, the universe, and everything as I was yesterday, but I still am still weighed down how much I have to do. An essay, a one act play, two larps, more articles... God, that's a lot. It wouldn't be so bad if I could actually buckle down and focus, but my general melodrama of the moment is making that tough. This weekend (my first truly unbooked one since early OCTOBER) will have to be devoted to getting work done. Maybe I should work in hour increments on a given project, then switch to keep my brain engaged.

Of course, I haven't finished holiday shopping yet. I hate doing it, since I never know what to get and a large portion of my intended recipients don't like stuff anyway, so I have massively put it off. Maybe I'll just do a mass online buying jag tonight and call it there. :-P Better than what I did last year, which was venture out into the mall mobs that close to Christmas. I could barely get a parking space.

More Festival bids are coming in, thanks in part to the lovely ultimatepsi*, wired_lizard*, and captainecchi*, to whom I very grateful. We are much closer to my goal of a full schedule with between sixty and seventy player slots per time period. At this point we don't need everyone who I talked to about bidding soon to submit something, but we do still need some. I am debating whether or not it might be a good idea to encourage people to start signing up for the con, just to get an idea of how many player slots we're likely to need. Signups for Festival at large are open, so feel free to put your name in there now if you'd like, but I know I won't wait any longer than a week before the schedule is supposed to be published (first week of January) to start getting after people to let me know they're coming. That way I can be sure the schedule is the right size to accomodate them without any games having to drop.

Want games, want games, want games...

My schedule for the upcoming week is very light. I am seriously considering keeping it that way at all costs; I have and will continue to have a lot of stuff to get done, and extended periods where I am allowed to just work without interruption means a greater likelihood of actually accomplishing something.

Getting a wee bit nervous about how few Festival bids there have been. Even if everyone who told me they were going to bid does bid, that still gives us no more than forty-five player openings per timeslot. I was hoping to have more like sixty-five or seventy. Some people have told me that people are just procrastinators and I should expect a flood of bids right before the December 31st deadline, but I'm not certain. So please, if you were thinking about bidding something, or know someone thinking about bidding something, I ask that you give it a go. The earlier we can get a schedule going, the better prepared we can be.

Today I made the signups for the "pinch-hitter" lists. If you recall, the idea is to have lists where people sign up to hang out near the gamespace for an hour or so at the beginning of each slot to indicate that they are willing to jump into a game at the last minute in the event of a player drop, so a GM knows where they can find them if necessary. The idea is that you will be able to be on a waitlist simultaneously with being on the pinch-hitter list, but once you get into a game you must be removed. Also, it should be noted that this is not an expectation that you will play ANY game that has an opening, just that you are available nearby to the GMs and are potentially interested in jumping in. It has been speculated upon that this may lead to an increase in player drops if they know that someone will be there to pick up their slack, but I have concluded that it is better to have four drops that we know can be filled so that the games are not compromised than one or two that don't get filled and end up hurting the larps. And hey, if this turns out to be a terrible idea, well, this is a grand experiment, and in that case I take full responsibility and we'll never do it again. But who knows-- might just be crazy enough to work!

Finally the last packed weekend

Jared is going to be in town this weekend! He has an interview at a nonprofit in Springfield, which is sadly a bit of a drive away, but at this point I will just be happy to have him within driving distance. He'll be closer and more accessible than he was in Chicago at least, and for that alone I am happy and optimistic. But after the interview Thursday he'll be coming into Waltham to spend the weekend.

I also got a silly little writing gig on a website called Examiner.com, where you write a few short little articles a week on a topic you're interested in, and depending on a lot of factors including pageviews, you get paid something for it. My first two articles have just been old LiveJournal entries I've adapted to fit their guidelines, which I did because I should be busy this weekend and I wanted to make sure I got in at least two before the end of the week. I don't expect a lot to come of it-- I think I've made twenty-nine cents so far --but who knows, I guess it's worth a try. This is my profile if you'd care to toss a click to two my way. Much obliged.

Even before Jared was coming, my weekend promised to be busy. Saturday will be Like Putting a Leash on a Rocket Launcher in which I have a pretty out-there character that will require some pretty, uh, uninhibited behavior. Heh. Ah, well, it will be an interesting challenge, and we'll see how it goes. I'm playing one of the E-phos and as such have a dual personality. I'm wondering if there's an easy way to represent that with costuming. At the moment I'm thinking I'll wear my black leggings and tall boots, but not sure about what to go with on top. Maybe I'll wear two layers of top such that the inner layer represents the alternate personality and can be revealed whenever I switch. And then there is the next session of captainecchi*'s tabletop game on Sunday. Must check on where we will be meeting for that.

All in all, it should be a very fun, active weekend. Also, it will mark the last weekend in the "I am totally booked up" series, and I will finally have some free time on Saturday and Sunday again. Knowing me, I will immediately fill it all with activities.

The busy marches on

Feeling much better after a good night's sleep last night. I still need a long hot shower and enough mental wherewithal to put an actual outfit together before I'll feel totally normal again. I look like a complete schlub today; will have to change later in the day when I have the brain to do it. Didn't have time or energy yesterday to finish cleaning the kitchen, but I am resolved to finish it today. My bedroom could also use straightening up; whenever I get very busy, the less I attend to things like putting stuff away properly, so the place is uncomfortably out of order.

So with Halloween and the Wrathskeller now behind me, Winter's Tale becomes my primary focus. Despite having finished up with several major activities, my schedule remains packed. I'm trying to keep myself busy; it staves off the gloomies, don't you know. ;-) As of now, less than a week away from the beginning of tech week, I am feeling pretty good about the show and my part in it; despite some kinks with how difficult it can be to get a large group of people scheduled to be in the same place at the same time, the scenes I've gotten to watch are very sharp. We did Act III and the first scene of Act IV yesterday, and at first I didn't really feel on my game due to tiredness, but with a few times through I actually felt like I nailed it. The one thing I really want to work on is my upset when I'm leaving the baby in Bohemia and it starts to storm. I never really felt like I hit on the right level of emotion; I always feel a wee bit flat. I shall have to practice that before we run it again.

Fortunately there is no rehearsal for me tonight. My dad is in town on business, so I will be having dinner with him and Casey. After lunch with bronzite, which I am looking forward to since I have not seen much of him lately, I am hoping to get my chores accomplished, and then spend the evening with the family.