Brad as hippie Lysander

Despite missing Jared, this was a pleasant, low-key weekend. Saturday I went with Bernie to see usernamenumber* in A Midsummer Night's Dream, and that was a lot of fun. The show was set in the sixties, complete with a conflict by ultra-hippie Lysander (brilliantly and hilariously played by Brad) and the square Demetrius and Egeus, and all the fairy magic seemingly boiled down to the effects of various psychedelic drugs. It actually worked quite well, particularly skewing Lysander that way, and made for a really funny setup with lots of fun performances. Brad was amazing as always, taking on his first Shakespeare role with energy and great physical embodiment of the role. I also was pleasantly surprised to see that the director and the portrayer of Theseus and Oberon was Ron Lacey, the gentleman who played Ferdinand in the production of Love's Labor's Lost I was in last summer, an actor I admire and who apparently is quite clever behind the scenes as well. While occasionally I found the blocking a bit frenetic, making it a bit tough for the dialogue to come through clearly and with nuance, I thought they did a great job transplanting the play into their new context and a great job making a fun show of it. I gather this is a new troupe, and if they continue to put on Shakespeare, I would love to audition for them myself. Brad has kindly agreed to keep me informed, so that could be a fun possible theater opportunity in the coming days.

No more driving

And all too soon, Jared is gone again. I am a bit low due to it, but trying to focus on what a lovely week we had together. And saying my prayers that soon enough he will be back for good. At the moment, I'm eating kiwis, a fruit I've never tasted before meeting him, in the way he taught me how to eat them.

This weekend has the last two performances of Love's Labor's Lost. We're in a tiny theater in Walpole call Footlighters instead of the gazebo in Medfield. It's a neat little space, but I do not relish the drive to get there. I have been driving constantly this week, and I am very tired of it. I even scraped the side of a pole in a parking garage, leaving streaks across Constantine's driver's side. :-P There goes another chunk out of the ol' savings account. Therefore I am not feeling very friendly towards cars at the moment. I think all next week, while I do want to do social things with the friends I feel like I haven't seen in forever, but I desire to do it without driving. With bribes of food, fun, and my own charming company, I will make the people come to me.

Being reactive onstage

It occurs to me as I go through Love's Labor's Lost that the most difficult draining thing for me to do is spend a long time onstage doing nothing but focusing and reacting. Having actions and interactions and speaking lines is a lot less mentally demanding for me than staying in the moment reactively. It is especially tough for me to do so in this show, where my character is a bit thin and no personality for him suggests itself to me naturally. I know having to do a lot of that tends to be disliked more the greater the experience of the actor-- I can't remember who said it, but I remember readibg some older theater actor like Richard Burton or somebody said that the ideal role was one with the highest ratio of being the center of attention to time spent onstage. I think I'm starting to agree with that.

I think I must resolve in my future theatrical writing to make characters have to spend as little time as possible onstage when theyre not doing anything. Just to show mercy on them. To Think of Nothing kind of violates this, I guess, but I think all eight characters stay involved enough all the time that the times when they are observing or reacting isn't too onerous. Or at least their characterizations are well enough defined to better inform how they should be behaving at thosr times. Actors in TToN, care to weigh in on your experience with this? Was it tough or easy to be reactive in that show?

So much fun I'm exhausted

Yowza, what a weekend. My play opened to satisfaction from director and cast alike. On Saturday before the show I had a lovely afternoon with bronzite*, including getting to meet his dad and take a nice leisurely walk around Medfield. There was a pretty heavy rainful during call time, so we elected to go into our rainspace, which at least had the benefit of no bugs and air conditioning. To my pleasure I saw that Bernie, laurion*, and Amanda were in attendance as well, and though we didn't get the impression the audience totally followed this somewhat dense and talky play, we the cast were pleased.

Sunday was the pre-show picnic. I must say, it was one of the best-planned picnics I've ever been to, and the company was great. I mentioned I've had bad experiences with potlucks in the past, so when I discovered that everyone had brought something not only delicious but often more elaborate than they'd initially offered, I was floored with delight. We had so many delicious dishes, and it was a good thing too, because I think we had fifteen-- electric_d_monk*, captainecchi*, natbudin*, Michael, Bernie, blendedchaitea*, readerofposts*, Emily, Marissa, Marissa's boyfriend Matt, morethings5*, in_water_writ*, John, Walter, am I forgetting anyone? --lovely people in attendance. It was a somewhat eclectic group, with friends from several different parts of my life, but I think even so everyone got along and had a good time. I unfortunately had to withdraw for a phone call related to a serious family issue (it may be time to finally make a post explaining what's going on there) but I thoroughly enjoyed what time I had with everyone. And the fact that my gang understood the show well enough to laugh at appropriate times made a huge improvement with the audience! Yay for my smart, Shakespeare-getting friends!

And yesterday I was fortunate enough to get to see youareverysmall, my dearest friend from back home, while she and her girlfriend were in the Boston area. I had them over for dinner-- they're vegetarian, so I busted out my cooking-for-veggies standby, the artichoke pie --and got to enjoy her company and meet her girlfriend Samantha, who I am pleased to say is cute, smart, stylish, and extremely well-spoken. I approve. ;-) They very politely listened to me talk about geeky things, and a lovely evening was certainly had.

Now I am weary. I look forward to spending the next several days doing nothing at all. I really need the downtime, after as crammed as schedule as I've had for the last two weeks. And Jared has an interview today. I have my fingers crossed, and anything else crossable on me, and I'm saying a little prayer for him.

Busy keeps me going

Had a lovely dinner party last night in the charming company of natbudin, captainecchi, and electric_d_monk. I settled on making Italian crusted pork chops as the main dish. I breaded them according to my mom's recipe, using a mixture of panko, parmesan, and Italian herbs, then threw them in a saute pan to brown. To my dismay, all the breading came off in the pan, probably because I forgot to flour the chops before the dipped them in the egg mixture. So when I placed the chops in the baking dish to finish in the oven, I scraped the lost breading out of the pan and sprinkled it over the meat. I then made up a new panko-cheese-herb mixture and shook it over them to create a new crust. This I finished with a drizzle of melted butter, then baked. They came out with a nice golden crust that way, and the slightly more well-done bits that browned in the saute pan complexified the flavor. I would like to try this same recipe doing it the way I'm supposed to sometime, but I liked how it came out even with my mistake. Also, the company was lovely, and did a great deal to make me feel better after the stress of the last few weeks. Must be certain to feed them well on a regular basis, to encourage them to make the long drive out this way again!

Was very productive this morning. I put the chicken for the picnic tomorrow in bags of marinade in preparation for cooking, cleaned the whole kitchen including mopping the floor, and folded and put away a load of laundry. Shortly I will be leaving for Medfield to have lunch with bronzite before opening day of my show. He sadly cannot make the picnic, so we'll spend some time together today instead. I am looking forward to putting on our first real performance, though I am quite certain I will crash afterward. My plan is to pour all my energy into a good performance, then go home and chill, doing nothing more strenuous than chopping vegetables for potato salad for tomorrow. If I can make it through those things satisfactorily, it will have been a very good day.

My show postcard

One of the actors in our show is board member of the Gazebo Players, and has made up publicity postcards featuring all of us actors to send out to friends and family to get the word out. A pretty cool idea, I think. Here is mine:



A sneak preview of me as an indignant Longaville. I do in fact look like a boy there. A nerdy, scrawny little boy, but a boy nonetheless. Isn't the Navarre University shirt cool? Another girl in the show is one of the costumers, and she made it. Nice!

Too many run throughs

Wow, I'm suddenly really glad I got to see Shaken Up Shakespeare when I did. All the shows are sold out from on out! Congratulations to oakenguy* and all of his castmates-- I know I really enjoyed it, and was very impressed with the acting and production.

Love's Labor's Lost rehearsals have been very heavy over the past several days. We have blasted through the whole show four times already this week, and we're doing another run tonight. I think we're in pretty damn good shape by now, but the location for tonight is our rain space, so Shelby wants to make certain we're adapted to it in case we end up having to move there. I could honestly use a night without having to be on, but at least this is the last run through before we open on Saturday. Right now I'm just praying that it doesn't rain during the picnic on Sunday. I've put too much planning into it already.

Gah, brain mushy. I've spent most of today processing expense reports, and the work, she is meticulous and tedious. I look forward to when I can relax with my cookbooks and choose some dishes to make tomorrow night. It occurred to me actually after Jared's suggestion that this might be a good opportunity to make pork, since no one present is unable to eat it. That might be really nice. My goal is to have a shopping list written up by the end of the day, and to take care of supply-buying on my way home from work tomorrow. Then shall the cookening commence.

Rehearsal weekend over

Weekend of rehearsal is concluded. Things went rather well; we seem to be in a pretty good place with the show, and with the exception of that one goddamn line that I always psych myself out of remembering, I feel like I'm fairly ready. The other day I hit the thrift store, dropped off a big bag of unwanted clothes, and picked up a pair of khakhi cargo pants just baggy enough to look boyish to wear as my costume. The fact that they're a little too big hides some of my feminine definition, but I discovered necessitates the wearing of a belt to not slide below my knobby hipbones. I also broke out the chest binding for the first time in this role. As usual, reactions ranged from people impressed by the fact that I was willing to do it to weirded out by how kinky and uncomfortable it looked.

As some of you know from doing shows with me in the past, I have a odd little tendency to walk around in just the binding before getting into costume. I did this today, and because I was not sure how my fellows in the show, few of whom really know me, would react to it, I was thinking about this today. I didn't experience any real negative reaction, but I did wonder if anyone thought it was strange. I'm not totally sure why I feel the desire to do it, though I think it's complicated. For some reason it relaxes me to lose that outer layer of clothing, so it's become my custom before a play even when I'm not bound. I am proud of how attractive my midriff is, so I'm sure the way exposing it makes me feel about myself gives me a sense of positivity before a show. I think i also like the notion of how before I put on my character I have to stop being Phoebe and start being an empty canvas on which to paint the character. Costumes have always helped me get into character, so the total lack of any kind of costume over the binding I think helps me part with myself and become clear to assert the new personality. There's probably a dash of a need to assert my true femininity before putting on my masculine character; this is not a huge issue for me, but I think this small gesture helps keep it that way. It's an odd little issue of mine, but for the first time I felt compelled to analyze my need for this weird little ritual. Because of the drive, I had to strap down really far in advance, and my ribs were starting to ache by the time the show ended. That was a bit surprising-- normally my breasts themselves are what gets sore, but this time it was definitely my ribs. Will have to work out a way to cut down the time I will have to spend bound up. Still, it's good to know that I'm pretty much totally in order to go on this coming weekend.

Have gathered a fairly good crowd for the planned picnic before the show on Sunday the 24th. Though certain people will be sadly missed, a nice group is amassing that I am very glad will spend the time with me. If you decide you'd like to come with us, just drop me a line and I will be happy to include you in the plans.

I did manage to get to oakenguy's show yesterday. I was kindly accomplanied by my beloved in_water_writ, and I'm very glad I made it. I liked every piece or different reasons, and had the extremely rare experience for me of being impressed with the ability of every single actor involved. Brian was as fun and funny as I expected he'd be, and I must certainly be sure to get out to any future shows of his, so that I may see more of him onstage! I certainly recommend anyone who enjoys Shakespeare and Shakespeare-related material (not to mention Brian!), as I certainly do, to go out to Somerville and catch this show. Afterward Jenn and I had a lovely time hanging out at chatting at J.P. Lick's, concluding a long day with a very pleasant evening.

Overwhelmed

Feeling overwhelmed. I am so behind on the responsibilities of life and work that I feel like all I do is run from one thing to the next and never make any headway. My to do list seems a mile long, and I have no idea where to begin. On top of that, my body seems to be rebelling in every way possible; I feel like someone should hang a biohazard sign around my neck. I am, needless to say, not at the top of my game right now.

I had forgotten until Thursday night that there were two all-day rehearsals for Love's Labor's Lost this weekend. I'm sure they'll go fine, but I really could have used the time to try and get other things done. I also want to go to oakenguy*'s show tonight; I've always wanted to see him act, and the fact that the show is Shakespeare-themed I'm even more excited. I arranged for two tickets, but in my distracted state I forgot to invite anyone to come with me. If anyone wants to attend an 8PM at the Unity Church of God, 6 William St., Somerville (Davis Square), give me a call and let me know. See www.theatreatfirst.com if you'd like more information.

Picnic and Love's Labor's Lost

As some of you may know, I am going to be in a production of Love's Labor's Lost that will be going up very soon. It will be outside at a gazebo next to the public library in Medfield, MA, which is about a half an hour's drive from here. It is a very nice small park kind of spot. Some of you may remember last summer when I was in Macbeth, which was also performed outside, when we put together a picnic lunch, drove out to the park several hours early, and ate and played frisbee and generally enjoyed each other's company until the show.

Since I would like people I know to come see the show, I think it might be nice if we did the same thing this year. The show is at 5PM, so I was thinking we could go out at 1 or 2, with everybody bringing food, blankets, and stuff to play with. There are several shows, but I am going to Sunday 7/25.

Let me know if you are interested and able to attend. Also, this is an open-invitation event-- feel free to bring anyone else you'd like. We will organize times, transport, directions, and food once I have a better idea of who can come.

Hope to see you there!

Heh. I've never done anything that was open-invite before. ;-)

Feeling behind

Feeling very behind on things right now. I have a lot of deadlines in the near future, the two currently most pressing being the off-book deadline for Love's Labor's Lost and being ready with a new storyline for this Saturday's session of Burn Notice. There was a question of whether that would be happening because Bernie didn't know if he'd have to go out of town or not, but he's decided on staying so barring anything unexpected we're on. I've finally finished what dangling threads still remained, so now I have to generate an entirely new caper. That's going to be a lot of work, but if I use the next few days effectively, I'll bet I can come up with something satisfying. I also have to cram a lot of line-learning into that time. I'll just have to work hard to maintain focus.

As a side note, I was briefly mentioned in the Brandeis University LouieNew: "Brandeis alumni direct, produce, star in "Love's Labour's Lost" - The Gazebo Players presents "Love's Labour's Lost," directed by Shelby Bleiweis '04, produced by Amy Klesert '09 and featuring Phoebe Roberts '09 and Debbi Finkelstein '04. Performances will be at the Gazebo in Medfield, Mass., July 24, 25, 31 and Aug 1 at 5:00 p.m. and Aug 1, 7, and 8 at Walpole's Footlighter's Theater at 5:00 p.m. All performances are free."

Those, incidentally, are all the necessary details should you like to attend my play.

Actually looking nice today

Lately getting going in the morning has been a lot harder than usual; again I blame the not sleeping well. But that has meant that getting dressed has taken a lot more effort, so I haven't been doing as good a job of it. My very conscious efforts to dress as stylishly as possible have been a bit too much for me, so things like experimenting and even accessorizing just haven't been happening. But today I actually managed to assemble something that looks really sharp. I'm wearing one of my favorite shirts, the fitted pink-striped one with the silver appliqued design on it, khakhi slacks, black leather belt, my anniversary necklace, matching silver earrings, and, as a fun and unusal touch, my silver dress heels. I feel like I look really good today, and that makes me feel good. Maybe I should spend the precious extra spoons in the mornings and go back dressing carefully; it might help me feel a little better about myself. Could use that lately.

Had the first read through for Love's Labor's Lost last night. It went well, if perhaps a little less professionally than I like, and I think i will enjoy working with this cast. I've had heavier rehearsal schedules than I'll have for this show, but even though rehearsals happen every other night I'll still need to be at pretty much all of them. I will be playing Longaville, one of the king's men who swears off women in order to pursue scholarship for a year, but ends up breaking his vow when he falls in love with Maria, one of the ladies attending the princess of France. Yet again I am cross-cast. :-) No matter, I enjoy the challenge, and it's a fairly decent-sized role. I'm still trying to get a handle on what I think I'll do with him, but I've got plenty of time to figure it out. There will be three weekends of performances, 7/24-25, 7/31-8/1, and 8/7-8.

Long weekend coming up. I don't have to work on Monday due to Memorial Day, but even with the extra day it will be busy. These will be my last couple of days with Jared before he goes home for the summer; Monday he'll be flying home. Also I'll be taking Bernie to the airport so he can go to a work conference in California. I don't want either of them to go; it's going to be a lonely few days. But on Sunday blendedchaitea* will be moving into Elsinore for the summer, and I'm very excited about that. I look forward to helping her get settled, and then having her for company. So I'll be trying to keep busy, which helps keep my spirits up.

Goals and tasks for the summer

Some thoughts on things I am planning on pursuing over the summertime this year.

Budgeting will need to be focused on. Though actually, one goal I actually have more or less met over the last year is keeping my finances in order. The old budget has been and will continue to be pretty tight, but I'm making it work, covering my bills and actually managing to put a little away. I'm now even closer to my in-case-of-emergency savings goal! Since our new lease is starting next month, I have been carefully getting ready for the expense of handing over first month-last month payment. I am extremely annoyed, however, by the fact that my landlord will not allow me to just roll over my security deposit from last year. Instead, he wants to give it back to me and have me pay a new one. Okay, this wouldn't be so bad if he could get it together to return it to me before the new one is due. If I remember correctly from last year, we got the old one back eventually, but not in a prompt manner, because frankly this guy doesn't really do anything in a prompt manner. I am budgeted and prepared to hand over first month-last month, but digging up an ADDITIONAL security deposit is going to pose a serious hardship. I just don't want to cause any trouble, so as unhappy as it makes me, I'm just going to go with it. I know I will get the old one back, but still, I dislike the notion of having twice what I owe in security handed over for any period of time.

I got into the play I auditioned for! I will be playing Longaville, one of the prince's men who swears off love for scholarship but finds he can't keep to it, in the Gazebo Players production of Love's Labor's Lost. Tonight is the first read through and I'm excited, though I have to miss a Labor Wars meeting to attend. :-( I will in the future carefully manage my schedule so this does not happen again. I think it will be good for me to have a show to keep me busy and creative this summer.

I must get back into the habit of working out. I'm barely working out at all these days, and the squishiness is starting to show it. My belly is turning to mush and my thighs are becoming monstrous. It's easier for me to keep to a workout schedule over the summer with my increased free time and my decreased responsibilities, so perhaps I can actually make a good habit of it. I will have to overcome the challenge of my sleeping badly makes it hard to get up to work out in the mornings, and yet I've never had much success making myself work out at any other time.

I would like to restart my Burn Notice campaign. We haven't played in a very long time, but I would enjoy getting back into it, if not on a regular basis, then at least somewhat frequently. Hell, we even still have a storyline to finish. I honestly have difficulty coming up with more and more story so quickly, but I liked running the game and had a great time spending it with the players. I'll have to go about figuring that out.

I must find a doctor. I recently got new health insurance, so I've got to find someone who accepts it, but honestly I haven't had a primary care provider since going away to college. I don't often need one, and when I was in school I just used the health center. But I've been convined to get checked out about how badly I've been sleeping lately, and my feet seem to be hurting an awful lot. To be honest I don't expect a doctor to be able to do much about any of the things that have been troubling me, since I think most of it's due to stress, but Jared and my mother are convined I'm falling apart, so I guess it can't hurt on the off-chance there's something concrete medical care can do.

So there's a starting point to begin my summer with. Let's see how it goes.