Last weekend of Sherlock

Final weekend of Sherlock Holmes performances begin tonight. In an effort to ward off any more debilitating ill health episodes, I am working to stay calm and hydrated. I mean, it's very unlikely that I'll get another migraine, this week has been weary but way less stressful than the last, but I really don't want to deal with that again.

My parents are coming up to see the show tonight and tomorrow. I'm really happy they can make it. They're even bringing my brother and his girlfriend on Saturday. They missed Merely Players due to scheduling issues, and I haven't acted in a show in a couple of years now, so that's special for me.

Also, yesterday I got to see Erik Potter, Tom Heller, and Lily Hwang, in town for their fifth-year Brandeis reunion. They made a campfire in Sachar Woods and invited me to hang out with them there last night. It was wonderful to see them again, after all that time. Erik actually lives around here anyway, so I need to make an effort to see him more.

If only I weren't feeling so tired. All week I have felt draggy, despite taking naps and going to bed early. Not sure what's wrong, though I know it's been going on since the show ended last weekend. I've even been eating right and exercising a lot. I'm used to bouncing back pretty quickly, but whatever this is, it's lingered. I guess I'll just have to push through.

Work whiny



*Sigh* Just got a bunch of new responsibilities given to me at work, which is nice and all, but are accompanied by other changes that are kind of inconvenient. Spent a lot of today in the position of either wait for instructions and come off as not proactive or helpful enough, or try to use my own best judgment and risk handling it wrong. Hmmm, either be a useless cow, or screw up? Yay, my favorite. The really annoying thing is that my work hours just got moved up from 9AM-2PM to 8AM-1PM. Not super-pleased about that, but it's not that big a deal. I'm just a baby who doesn't want to wake up an hour earlier. At least my work period will end earlier without losing any hours. I do like finishing early rather than late. Tomorrow will be the first day of it, so I'd bet remember to reset my morning alarm.

SLAW 2010 Report

Am now back from my lovely weekend of larping at SLAW. This was kind of my weekend of "games I am not sure about," since in an effort to expand my larping horizons I signed up for all games that were not to my typical inclining. By and large this tactic was a success, and I had a very good weekend overall.

Friday night Charlotte, April, and I all played in Martha Stewart's Guide to Interdimensional Summoning (and Basting a Turkey.) Fortunately Charlotte had reminded me just before the game that it actually took place at a party and not at a business conference like I originally assumed, so at the last minute I changed my costuming plan. I thought I looked quite nice, wearing my black asymmetric cocktail dress with my white gold anniversary necklace, the nearly-matching silver infinity earrings, silver pumps with the perfectly-matching silver bag, and my silver-gray pashmina over my shoulders. Though I had a good time in it, this game was not to my taste. It was a game purely about schmoozing, with most interactions conducted solely for their own sake, which is totally fine, I just tend to prefer a little bit more plot. I did end up bonding with the demon who had been my childhood imaginary friend, but I did it mostly as a favor to him-- he needed it and I didn't, which I think may have been a common thing about demons and humans in the game. Glad I tried the game, had a nice time, but it was not exactly what I was hoping for.

Saturday morning I drove Charlotte and Ryan in early so that they could play in their morning games. I had nothing in that slot, so I decided to go cruise a nearby thrift store. It was a very nice, well-organized Goodwill, and there were lots of stuff to choose from. Unfortunately most of the things that caught my eye weren't in my size, but I find it amusing how often even in the thrift stores my eye is drawn to items from Express. Very frequently I see something I like the cut and styling of among lots of random pieces on the rack, and when I check the tag, Express is the maker with surprising frequency. I ended up taking home a fantastic black sweater with a drapey fold-over collar, two dressy knee-length skirts, one with an orange and white cloudy pattern and the other with swirls in various shades of red, and the neatest thing of all, a low-sided oval pan with a copper bottom and a stainless steel interior. It needs polishing, but this pan that looks just like it is selling for hundreds of dollars, and I snagged this one for four. Score! I'm not sure what you would call such a thing-- it's oval kind of like a gratin pan but only has one long handle, and the sides are too low for a saute pan --but I look forward to shining it up and cooking with it, which will promptly require shining it again. :-)

Pleased with my haul, I returned to WPI to grab lunch and get into costume for The Sound of Drums. I wasn't sure if it was going to be my cup of tea, and I was fairly certain I would like Two Hours in London, but natbudin* had highly recommended it and I trust the man's judgment. So, in the spirit of the Try New Games weekend, I went for it. My costume wasn't terrible, but it was weaker than my usual standard. Despite playing a sixty-plus-year-old, I did end up wearing my brown tribal-looking bikini with my brown pashmina tied around my waist like a skirt, and Charlotte kindly lent me her huge patterned green scarf to wrap around my shoulders. This mostly concealed all the decidedly-not-sixty-year-old body in the bikini, and I made some attempt to paint age makeup on my face, but I didn't white my hair and overall looked pretty much like the vain twenty-something I am. Also, I think I lost my brown and white headband scarf at the gamespace afterward, which I am annoyed with myself about.

But the game itself was excellent. The world is very full and well-thought-out. I loved my character and was incredibly busy throughout the whole game. I also had great interactions with Susan, who was my brilliant-but-mad younger sister, and Ryan, who was the troubled outsider with the haunting in his soul. I even got to use my badass spiritual strength to beat up a fallen god! It was awesome. The culture they built, with its ways and its norms that were so different and unusual, was really well-made. There was one small instance of "Christianity as the great bogeyman of non-mainstream living" that irked me, but otherwise I thought they did a really nice job of establishing the foreign people. There was also lots of interesting story told, which pretty much makes any game for me. Overall, I think this was my favorite larp of the weekend, and the one I was most glad that I took a chance on. Congrats to Tory and Lily for making it!

Saturday night was Clarence. By this point I was really dragging, energy-wise. This weekend marks the third week in a row of little sleep and poor eating, and I think I am reaching my limit. Luckily for me, Clarence is a game that is impossible to screw up, and I was playing an AGM so I could afford to be reactive rather than active. Fortunately, others were doing a fantastic job of pushing the game along. This run was blackbagged and carried off over the shoulder by electric_d_monk*, whose portrayal of the fanatically German-nationalist GM Bucher drove the events by sheer force of personality. By the end of the run, we had vampires passing on their nationalities as well as their vampirism, resulting in bronzite*'s General and rigel*'s Carmilla being determined to be genetically perfect Aryans who of course must then go on to spawn the Master Race. With the use of the time accelerator to hasten their growth, soon we had six little Ubermensches prancing about named after the Von Trapp children singing songs from The Sound of Music. And naturally, these unstoppable German supermen went on to take over the world and some surrounding planets, leaving Brewer as Kaiser of the Earth and Mars. It was a typically insane run, but the birth of the Master Race, I think, was a uniquely amusing touch.

"Allow me to explain zee rules of Der Kriegspiel."

Sunday lightgamer* was nice enough to let me ride over with him and twilighttremolo*. I was signed up for In the Jungle that day, the final game of the sort I wasn't sure what I'd think of. But I like the work of emp42ress* and simplewordsmith*, so I wanted to see what it was like. My costume was like most of my others this weekend was a little half-assed, since I tend not to keep worn-out clothes around, but I settled on an outfit that when my parents last saw me in it told me I looked like a bum. I figured that would work. It is a game about hobos, a pure conversation exercise where we do nothing more than talk to each other in character. The game was at bare minimum cast, but it was a good one, including myself, natbudin*, rigel*, nyren*, beholdsa*, and electric_d_monk*. Being in it with such good larpers helped a lot, keeping the converstion interesting and helping ease some of the awkwardness I was feeling about just having to spitball. Not something I'm certain I want to do again any time soon, but I enjoyed the experiment in this instance and I'm glad I decided to give it a try.

Now I am exhausted. I have been going at a breakneck pace for the last three weeks and I simply can't go any more. I have been kind of hoping that if I have one day where I sleep really well and eat properly it will fix my weariness and the mess my digestive system has been in, but I think I need a more consistent effort to really fix things up. Wednesday I will be going home for Thanksgiving with my brother, and I'm hoping to reset myself over that break with healthy eating and enough rest. I have things I need to get done in the near future, such as writing more Resonance characters and getting out the casting questionnaire for The Stand, but as cool as my activites have been, I think my body needs a bit more of a break before it will feel back to normal again.

First Resonance meeting

For the first time in days, today I woke feeling somewhat refreshed. I don't know if I actually slept better or if I'm finally catching back up, but it's good to not get up feeling almost as exhausted as I was when I went to sleep. Still, I plan on taking it easy today. My only responsibility is to see that Jared gets to the airport okay. It was a lovely visit, and so nice to have him around for the show. I'm very pleased with how well we used our time together, him being helpful and supportive when I had to be at the show, and spending quality time together when I didn't. He even helped me with all the chores I neglected in favor of build and rehearsals this past week, so now I am almost caught back up. With any luck he will be back again soon, so I am in a fairly positive mood.

Had my first meeting with the Resonance team last night. I was given the whole rundown of the game and how it works, and I am very impressed with the concept. It was described by emp42ress* as a "choose-your-own-character amnesia game," which means that we won't know what kinds of characters will end up being in the game until the players choose them, and then "remember" more and more about who they are as they make their choices. And in addition to being experimental, it's going to be intense-- the storyline is a real emotional wringer. As always, I am honored to be asked to work with them-- they are such talented larp writers, and they encourage me to expand my horizons into nontraditional, experimental styles that I probably would not have attempted on my own. The writing process for this game is different than any previous one, so I'm excited to try my hand at it and see how I do.

Close of Winter's Tale

Finally Winter's Tale has done. I couldn't be happier with how the process went. I remember Caesar's tech week going very well, but this for Winter's Tale was even better, due to a confluence of lucky circumstances, an abundance of technically skilled people, and the strong sense of camaraderie that has enabled everyone to work so well together. This is certainly one of the best-looking shows we've ever had. The set is gorgeous, the costumes are strong, the lights are more beautiful and complex than anything we've had before, and we worked better together than we have on build for any other show. Even our strike went beautifully.

 Our actors were amazing. Plesser is fantastic, bringing humanity and soul to his character, growing in nuance with every show. To se him working to build a performance unlike anything he's done before was fascinating. Gigi has this beautiful quiet dignity that she brings to roles, a refusal to be compromised and to cave in to adversity. Her firm, upright stillness makes an excellent counterpoint to everything else that happens onstage, giving her an unassailable serenity that draws the eye. Emma's sweetness as Perdita makes me glad to have her in the club. Lenny is unbelievable, funny and fascinating as Autolycus and easily the most fun part of the show. She and Jenna as Clown, who was clever and hilarious, really stole the show. Chris brought warmth and charm to Florizel. Nicole's Paulina was skillful, intense, and powerfully captured the eye. Nati rose admirably to the challenge of his difficult character. And of course, for pure facility as an actress, none of us equal Caitlin. She is so natural, so believable, so talented that she makes it look effortless. Her voice is powerful and conveys so much, her body is held so exactly, her movement is so dynamic and illustrative. To see her filling the stage while so many of the rest of us struggle to keep from physically stagnating leaves me in awe. She is the best of us in so many ways, and I admire her so much.

Now I am extraordinarily tired. I am incredibly happy with how things went, but now I need to crash and recharge. Congratulations to Steph, who has done such an amazing job bringing everything together, and now is inducted into the sacred society of HTP directors.

Halloween: success!

Halloween was a smashing success, filled with good friends and delicious food. I was cooking literally all day with the gracious help of katiescarlett29*, and produced five tasty fall-themed dishes-- pear and parsnip puree, squash soup, cornbread, gingerbread, and pumpkin pie --in addition to a spiral-sliced ham that was even more delicious than I hoped it would be. The costumes were also fantastic, highlights including in_water_writ* and 1takejohnny's Harley Quinn and the Joker, morethings5* as Dexter Morgan, electric_d_monk* in the full regalia of a Victorian countess, marigumi* and Matt as Hit-Girl and Kickass, and a Princess Bride-themed group that culiminated in lightgamer*-as-Inigo and nennivian*-as-Rugen's climactic duel to the death. Honorable mention goes to Plesser, in Scooby-Doo-themed scrubs, as Nurse Not-a-Slut (Even on Halloween), RN. And special thanks to nennivian* for decorating the living room. :-)

But now I am well-contented, but ridiculously tired. I was up late straightening up afterward, and had to get up for work this morning. Now I am seriously dragging. I would love to get a nap in this afternoon, but today I have errands to run, family obligations, and rehearsal in the evening, so I may just have to soldier on.

New weird sleep pattern

My sleeping patterns just won't seem to settle into what I want for my twenty-something working life. I am no longer obnoxiously sleeping from sundown to sunup the way I was for a while there, thankfully, but now my sleep patterns have discovered a new weirdness. I am very prone to midday naps from which I wake with something that feels like a dehydration headache, and I consistently hit a hard energy crash around nine or ten at night that threatens to drag me off to sleep. I really, really don't want to fall back into that absurdly early sleep schedule. The weird thing is, if I push through this crash I usually shake off the extreme sleepiness by eleven or midnight, and can stay up comfortably until about one or so, but it's very tough to not let myself just pass out when that heaviness hits. I really dislike being so controlled by my sleep schedule, especially since most days I tend to get a decent seven hours a night. It's so frustrating because I've always been such a healthy person with comfortably regular habits until the last year or so.

Self-care progress report

One of my goals for the summer has been to work at taking better physical care of myself. It has been tough keeping up healthy habits when feeling so drained, so overwhelmed, and so depressed as I frequently have. So I have been taking advantage of having more free time to devote some of it to establishing healthier habits in the hopes of easing some of that bad feeling. Here's how that has been going so far.

Nutrition:
For a long time being busy and weary kept me buying easily accessible junk food. I am blaming the extra weight around my midsection to the frequent lunches I made out of a block of gruyere and a sleeve of Ritz crackers. I am working much harder to cook for myself on a regular basis, rather than just when I have dinner parties. In fact, my next week-long challenge to myself may be to prepare all meals at home. I have started making myself simple four-ingredient salads for lunches and sometimes dinners, which I am finding a lot more satisfying than I thought I would. I've also started trying to make a habit out of having breakfast by buying yogurts in bulk and keeping them in the fridge at work. Coke remains my lingering indulgence; it may be wiser to just cut it out.

Verdict: Much better, but not totally there yet.

Sleep:
Tough to say. Recently I've had a lot of problems sleeping through the night, leaving me not feeling rested in the mornings and crashing into bed stupid-early at night. I've experienced some small improvement not waking up during the night, perhaps because of the better eating and exercising. I'd like to be able to stay up a little later at night-- Jared and I have a deal that I'll try to stay up later and he'll try to go to bed earlier to mesh our schedules more --while still getting a full night's sleep. I think since I haven't been waking up so much I've been better able to get up and haven't felt so badly-rested, but it's still not perfect.

Verdict: somewhat better, and every little bit helps.

Skin:
Ah, in this department things have gotten better lots and gotten better fast. I switched to a nightly apricot facial scrub and an oil-free moisturizer, and my facial skin is doing better than it has in ages; I am looking so much clearer and more even-toned. I still have a lot of micro-zits on my forehead (tiny little acne bumps that are tough to see except up close) but as I said, I have also been taking care to moisturize the rest of my skin, and I was shocked at how quickly it got so soft. On my legs, it even makes it so I have to shave less often before the hair is visible. I also was trying to keep my nails in better condition, and I was mostly succeeding until the intensity of Labor Wars

Verdict: vast, immediate improvement.

Fitness:
This is the category that I have made the least progress in. My goal is to do either an abdominal or a cardio workout six days a week, and for a couple of weeks I was pretty good about it. Then this past week game, with all the gaming and the preparation for Labor Wars, and it went to hell. I don't feel like I've lost any weight yet, which disappoints me; I really want to sleek my tummy back out. I just got to buckle back down. It's a tough habit for me to get in because I don't enjoy it at all, except for the shape it gives me. But until I do this regularly for a reasonable period of time, I am not going to get rid of this little pooch on my gut.

Verdict: disappointing, must establish good habits for extended period of time.

So, small improvement, not enough to satisfy me yet. The only thing to do is keep with it, because that's the only way I'll get the results I want.

Actually looking nice today

Lately getting going in the morning has been a lot harder than usual; again I blame the not sleeping well. But that has meant that getting dressed has taken a lot more effort, so I haven't been doing as good a job of it. My very conscious efforts to dress as stylishly as possible have been a bit too much for me, so things like experimenting and even accessorizing just haven't been happening. But today I actually managed to assemble something that looks really sharp. I'm wearing one of my favorite shirts, the fitted pink-striped one with the silver appliqued design on it, khakhi slacks, black leather belt, my anniversary necklace, matching silver earrings, and, as a fun and unusal touch, my silver dress heels. I feel like I look really good today, and that makes me feel good. Maybe I should spend the precious extra spoons in the mornings and go back dressing carefully; it might help me feel a little better about myself. Could use that lately.

Had the first read through for Love's Labor's Lost last night. It went well, if perhaps a little less professionally than I like, and I think i will enjoy working with this cast. I've had heavier rehearsal schedules than I'll have for this show, but even though rehearsals happen every other night I'll still need to be at pretty much all of them. I will be playing Longaville, one of the king's men who swears off women in order to pursue scholarship for a year, but ends up breaking his vow when he falls in love with Maria, one of the ladies attending the princess of France. Yet again I am cross-cast. :-) No matter, I enjoy the challenge, and it's a fairly decent-sized role. I'm still trying to get a handle on what I think I'll do with him, but I've got plenty of time to figure it out. There will be three weekends of performances, 7/24-25, 7/31-8/1, and 8/7-8.

Long weekend coming up. I don't have to work on Monday due to Memorial Day, but even with the extra day it will be busy. These will be my last couple of days with Jared before he goes home for the summer; Monday he'll be flying home. Also I'll be taking Bernie to the airport so he can go to a work conference in California. I don't want either of them to go; it's going to be a lonely few days. But on Sunday blendedchaitea* will be moving into Elsinore for the summer, and I'm very excited about that. I look forward to helping her get settled, and then having her for company. So I'll be trying to keep busy, which helps keep my spirits up.

Goals and tasks for the summer

Some thoughts on things I am planning on pursuing over the summertime this year.

Budgeting will need to be focused on. Though actually, one goal I actually have more or less met over the last year is keeping my finances in order. The old budget has been and will continue to be pretty tight, but I'm making it work, covering my bills and actually managing to put a little away. I'm now even closer to my in-case-of-emergency savings goal! Since our new lease is starting next month, I have been carefully getting ready for the expense of handing over first month-last month payment. I am extremely annoyed, however, by the fact that my landlord will not allow me to just roll over my security deposit from last year. Instead, he wants to give it back to me and have me pay a new one. Okay, this wouldn't be so bad if he could get it together to return it to me before the new one is due. If I remember correctly from last year, we got the old one back eventually, but not in a prompt manner, because frankly this guy doesn't really do anything in a prompt manner. I am budgeted and prepared to hand over first month-last month, but digging up an ADDITIONAL security deposit is going to pose a serious hardship. I just don't want to cause any trouble, so as unhappy as it makes me, I'm just going to go with it. I know I will get the old one back, but still, I dislike the notion of having twice what I owe in security handed over for any period of time.

I got into the play I auditioned for! I will be playing Longaville, one of the prince's men who swears off love for scholarship but finds he can't keep to it, in the Gazebo Players production of Love's Labor's Lost. Tonight is the first read through and I'm excited, though I have to miss a Labor Wars meeting to attend. :-( I will in the future carefully manage my schedule so this does not happen again. I think it will be good for me to have a show to keep me busy and creative this summer.

I must get back into the habit of working out. I'm barely working out at all these days, and the squishiness is starting to show it. My belly is turning to mush and my thighs are becoming monstrous. It's easier for me to keep to a workout schedule over the summer with my increased free time and my decreased responsibilities, so perhaps I can actually make a good habit of it. I will have to overcome the challenge of my sleeping badly makes it hard to get up to work out in the mornings, and yet I've never had much success making myself work out at any other time.

I would like to restart my Burn Notice campaign. We haven't played in a very long time, but I would enjoy getting back into it, if not on a regular basis, then at least somewhat frequently. Hell, we even still have a storyline to finish. I honestly have difficulty coming up with more and more story so quickly, but I liked running the game and had a great time spending it with the players. I'll have to go about figuring that out.

I must find a doctor. I recently got new health insurance, so I've got to find someone who accepts it, but honestly I haven't had a primary care provider since going away to college. I don't often need one, and when I was in school I just used the health center. But I've been convined to get checked out about how badly I've been sleeping lately, and my feet seem to be hurting an awful lot. To be honest I don't expect a doctor to be able to do much about any of the things that have been troubling me, since I think most of it's due to stress, but Jared and my mother are convined I'm falling apart, so I guess it can't hurt on the off-chance there's something concrete medical care can do.

So there's a starting point to begin my summer with. Let's see how it goes.

I am a magical housing elf

I found out today that my mother woke up to a wet nose snuffling against hers. :-) That Merlin generates the most interesting news!

Today turned out to be significantly busier than I expected it to be, but overall was quite pleasant. This summer, since nennivian* and aurora_knight* will not be moving in yet, we will have a couple of subletters, once of which is the lovely blendedchaitea*. She will be going home to Los Angeles for two weeks before she officially comes to stay with us, so today I helped her gather up her dorm room, pack it into our respective cars, and store in against the wall downstairs until she needs it again. It turned out all that carrying was one hell of a workout; I must have walked miles with my arms loaded with heavy stuff. My muscles feel pretty ripped up, but it's actually a pretty good feeling, since it's been so long since I got a real workout.

In regards to my personal housing-related interests and responsibilities, I got one out of the two communications I was hoping for today. I was told that bronzite*'s furniture is supposed to be delivered between 8AM and 12PM tomorrow. I'm glad to know, but that's a bit earlier than I was hoping; it's earlier than I get up for work. Ah, well, God knows with how I've been sleeping I'll be up by that time anyway. As to the other communication, I didn't get the e-mail I was hoping for saying I can pick up the table. I'm hoping it will come tomorrow in time for me to make the trip to get it.

On yet another sleep-deprived day...

Sleep yet eludes me. I drop like a felled tree in the evening, wake up three or four times a night, and feel like a zombie the next morning. I'm chalking it up to stress; I've never really been a problem sleeper before. I've got to give that melatonin another try. I think it made a difference; if I recall, I slept better for a couple nights with it and forgot all about taking it, and ended up right back where I started with the bad night's sleep.

We cast The Labor Wars last night. I must say, it was a fascinating experience to glimpse into the Alleged Entertainment system of casting. Unlike most other casting sessions I've seen, they've devised a way to assign value to each answer and use those values to objectively measure compatibility with a character. It's very well-thought-out, and yet they balance it well with using non-quantified answers and knowledge of players to optimizes the matches. I'm really pleased with the cast that was put together last night, and I hope the players are too. Expect character sheets very soon!

I think I have a lead on a decent kitchen table. It's pretty much what I was looking for and very decently priced, so I'm hoping that I get a response to the e-mail I sent this morning confirming that I was interested. With any luck, the seller will get back to me soon and I'll be able to use my free time this weekend to go pick it up. Also, according to the shipping tracking on my kitchen cart, that is set to arrive on the 17th. It would very much please me to have these two household items in order.

In regards to furniture for another dwelling, this Saturday I will also be helping out bronzite* on a related matter. He is in Germany right now but has a furniture delivery scheduled for this weekend, so I will be waiting at his place to let the movers in and deliver the pieces to their proper locations. I'm still waiting for them to call me with the delivery time, so I don't have to be there all day. I guess I could do that if I had to, but I'd prefer not to have to bring quite so much to entertain myself with as would be required in that situation.

iPad musings

Okay, the sleeping-badly situation is getting out of hand. All the waking up again and again during the night has got to stop. Jared suggested I try taking melatonin, which can reset circadian rhythms, and at this point it can't hurt to give it a shot. And that is the last thing I'm going to say on my sleep issues for a good long while, as I'm sure you're sick of hearing about them.

Not that anybody asked me, nor should they given my complete dearth of expertise, but I'm going to tell you what I think of the iPad. I got to handle one at an Apple store recently, and well, I liked it as a thing on its own, but in the larger sense, I wasn't especially impressed.

Is there anything to it besides the fact that it's... a giant iPhone? That's cool, I guess-- God knows the annoyances I have regarding the limitations of the iPhone, and one with expanded capabilities would be much appreciated. As I mentioned, I use my iPhone as a makeshift laptop all the time. I only have a desktop right now, so if I ever want to bring a computer with me, the phone is as close as I'm going to be able to get. Something similar to the iPhone that is intended to function more like a laptop would suit my purposes nicely, wouldn't you think? But besides the larger screen, some of the more basic personal computer functions like word processing, and (I would hope) faster processor, I don't really see a huge leap forward. There's no camera, it doesn't support multi-tasking, there's no input besides the one for the typical Apple charger cable. It's basically a giant iPhone you can't make calls on. If I need a laptop, and I'm willing to spend money to acquire one, what reason do I have to not put the $499 price the iPad retails for right now toward an actual laptop that does more?

It's a cool thing. A very cool thing, in fact. If someone gave one to me, I'm sure I'd use it all the time. But is there enough utility in that coolness to make it necessary for people to pay all that money to own? I'm not sure. My question simply boils down to, unless you're buying simply for the coolness factor, which some techies certainly do, why would one prefer to spend that money on an iPad rather than a regular computer which would have more functionality?

The thing that annoys me about it is that the people whose purposes I would think they'd truly suit, the people that compute only on the most casual level, are probably never going to get them. The people who are going to buy iPads are techies, the hard-core Apple fans. They're going to think it's cool and living-in-the-future-feeling enough to shell out the money, despite the fact that they've probably already got machines at home that can do more and need way more computing power for their doings than an iPad can provide.

The iPad would be the ideal machine for someone like my mom, who uses computers to read, send e-mail, and surf the internet. A lightweight, easy-to-use device that allowed her to do all those things would be perfect. But she would never be inclined to spend so much on some gadget. She is, however, not totally unlikely to get ahold of one if bought for her by my much more technologically-inclined dad.

Am I missing something? I am not very technologically savvy. These are just my impressions from my very ignorant point of view. It's basically just a highly portable, not-very-powerful computer, right? Is anyone going to buy it instead of a computer? Is its utility really great enough for it to be bought as anything more than a cool novelty or convenience in addition to your more useful machines?

I now sit here and prepare to get schooled by people who understand the subject far better than me.

Griping as head goes *pound pound pound*

After over a week of exhaustion and stress, I feel particularly lousy today. There is a low-grade headache in the top right side of my head that isn't as bad as it was last night, but still hasn't gone away even after a night's sleep.

I spent last night helping Jared work out the writing of his thesis. The first half was due today, and he used me as a sounding board to figure out the structure and flow. I agreed to read it once he was done and make suggestions as if I were the theoretical "mean, lazy, and stupid" reader that his professors warned him to write for. At some point I noticed I had developed a halo in my left eye. This has happened to me before and gone away on its own, so I wasn't too worried, more annoyed because I knew it would make it difficult to read. Then the headache set in, starting high on the right side of my head and spreading to just behind my hairline. I drank tea and grumbled as Jared finished the first part of his paper. The halo eventually went away, thankfully, and I read the paper and I think made some helpful comments. It really is a good work; I'm incredibly proud of him. Just one more section to go, and the second part is supposed to be easier than the first.

As I lay in bed that night, still headachey and now with nausea settling in, I wondered idly if I had a brain aneurysm. I was tired enough that I decided if I woke up dead the next morning, well, at least I'd get to sleep in.

Well, needless to say I did not wake up dead. Head still hurts, though, so perhaps my aneurysm is just a lazy-ass that's taking it's own sweet time to kill me. I feel zombie-like, quite useless for any form of productivity.

Traffic on my Livejournal has dropped drastically from last month to this. I am depressed about it. Maybe I've been less interesting. I feel less interesting, so it would not surprise me if my entries were becoming less so as well. I even look less interesting; I think the look of tiredness that's been dogging me makes me appear ten years older.

I think I need to take it easy for a little while. This week I shall do things to take care of me. I have a couple of minor social things I'd like to indulge in. I have a hot date, heehee, with blendedchaitea* this coming Friday night that we've been meaning to have for a while, and I've been meaning to have Michael Hyde over for dinner sometime, so that would be an enjoyable way to spend an evening. Maybe I need to just take a little time to pull myself together. At least until this heavy, overwhelmed feeling goes away.

Festival report

On Friday night I helped captainecchi* and electric_d_monk* run the fantastic League of Extraordinary Hogwarts Students. I loved playing this game, and I only wish I'd had time to study everything more carefully. I read all the character sheets and the rules, but I still wasn't quite familiar with the inner workings of the game to be all that useful as a GM. I mostly got answers from Matt and Lise and then passed them on to players. I was particularly proud of katiescarlett29*, who stepped in as Irene Adler even though she wasn't totally confident about the improv part of larping, and of nennivian*, who I always thought was a larper waiting to happen. By and large the run went very well, with lots of activity and engaged players, but I wish I'd been intimate enough with the game to be able to give better suggestions to the couple of (usually new) players that got stuck. I wanted to talk to them after the game, but I was so blasted by gamewrap that I had to drag myself home and sleep. I have been sleeping badly lately, and I had to get up for a 9AM game the next day.

Saturday morning that 9AM game was the fifth run of Oz. It was an excellent run, one of the best, with the capable assistance of Jared and Bernie as my fellow GMs. We were a little nervous about the casting in places, but it turned out that everyone had a part they enjoyed. Standout players include the awesome natbudin*, who we initially wanted for EVERY ROLE IN THE GAME, but we finally settled into a part because he wanted to see him portray the personality-- which he did amazingly. Again, Charlotte was fantastic, showing so much talent for getting into and becoming characters. I was incredibly impressed with wired_lizard*, who played the character the way I had always imagined it to be, and gave me a few new ideas on top of that. Zachariah came up with some fantastically clever stratagies for executing his fairly difficult plotline. Hell, pretty much everyone in the game did an excellent job. I should probably stop casting bronzite* as my big bad, because I think people expect him to be the villain all the time, and so no one is inclined to trust him. In the previous run of Oz, Marc Blumberg as the villain did very well and in fact managed to achieve his goal of cataclysmic destruction, but it was more because the characters he was in opposition to made a fatal error that they could not fix. John actually pushed things farther along the doom track than anyone so far, but his opposition managed to repair it properly. I was immensely pleased with this run.

Saturday afternoon, I went home to sleep. I think it helped a little, but I was still pretty draggy for the rest of the weekend.

Saturday night was the fifth run of Alice, again assisted by Jared and Bernie. I think it went well in that players had a good time, but this was the WEIRDEST RUN EVER. Though of course there have been variations, the previous four runs tended to follow some pretty clear trends. Basically, there is a pattern of connections that is supposed to get made, and with some variance in the order in previous runs they all came together, leading to an endgame scenario where two large groups are polarized against each other. A lot of those connections did not click this time around, and I'm not sure where the broken link was. The villain was vanquished again, but not by the person who is supposed to and always has in the past. In all the previous runs, either the core villain group acted so covertly that nobody knew who they were until the end of the game, or they formed a tight-knit group so cohesive that they just overwhelmed and crushed all opposition. I feel like they were more scattered and freewheeling this time around, which made them more obvious and less able to protect themselves should someone decide they were a target. There were still some fantastic performances-- I loved Lise's analytical approach to her character and she made amazing process putting together the pieces of her challenge. And April was excellent, not to mention wearing a fantastic costume. I guess any game where the players have fun is a success, but I was really shocked at how weirdly this run went.

Then I went home to sleep. Again, my sleep has not been terribly restful these days, so still. So. Draggy. Blah.

Sunday was Diamond Geezers, the only thing I played. I had a blast. I was playing an ex-military demolitions expert whose rough, ruthless, but not terribly malicious outlook I enjoyed. It was an interestingly set-up game, basically us in a confined space with a few story hooks built in but a plot that was more or less on rails. I wasn't exactly expecting that, but it was a really fun character game, involving yelling in Cockney accents and waving guns around. We experienced an odd phenomenon that I think was troubling Brad as GM that the only ones who were talking much, at least at first, were bleemoo*, Charlotte, and myself, and everyone else was fairly quiet. I wonder if it was because the three of us were comfortable doing the accent and they felt slightly intimindated to speak if they couldn't. It's not like mine was any good at all, though Josh's and Charlotte's actually were. Josh was so much fun to play off of, and Charlotte continued to prove my theory that she has always been a larper, whether she knew it or not. Definitely recommend this game as a fun silly character experience.

Oh, as a side note, I was amused at usernamenumber pointing how at Brandeis, of course there was going to be less shooting and killing and more hand-holding and agreeing to work things out. :-) I have noticed this trend myself.

Next year I shall be con chair. I am looking forward to it. I am in the process of pondering a few thing to help optimize, which I will record when I have a better handle on my thoughts. Until then, thanks to everyone for making our very own con a fantastic experience again!

Tonight is for work

Finally Kindness's long-awaited post-bac show has come to fruition. We did our performance in front of his magnificent and meticulously-constructed environment involving suspended tree branches, flowers, nails, hooks, domestic items, and various accoutrements reflecting the life of a little girl. i think he was pleased with it; I had fun doing it, and it was certainly a unique experience for me as an actor and an interesting addition to my creative resume. I've done art before, but I've never been art before. :-) His installation will be in the Dreitzer Gallery in Spingold for the rest of the week if you missed last night. I, sadly, being living art, will not be.

*Yawn* I've gone to bed at a ridiculously early hour (10PM on Monday, 10PM on Tuesday, 9PM yesterday) every night so far this week, and yet I don't feel recharged or well enough rested for having slept so long. I don't feel sick, but I wonder if something's up. I'm hoping the excitement of Festival this weekend will cancel out my early-evening heaviness so I'm not a drag the next couple of nights.

I'd like to go to BSCF tonight and hang with people, but I have to prioritize my chores in preparation for the weekend. I have most of the sheets printed, but none of the cards, and nothing's packed yet. I may even have to buy a few new sets of supplies, like folders and playing cards. I need to put clean sheets on the guest bed for Seamus Reynolds who will be crashing at Elsinore for the weekend. And I have to finish reading the materials for LXHS. I'll only go to BSCF if I've accomplished enough of all of that by the time seven rolls around, but I doubt I will be able to afford it.

I could try to get a bit of work done on my next character sheet assignment for Labor Wars, as we have a meeting next Tuesday. But I won't be working on Monday next due to the need to work a monstrously long day on the following Thursday, so I should at least have all of that day to finish up the sheet. It'll be nice to have a day to recover after what promises to be a packed and possibly sleep-deprived three days.

Chores in earnest

It's a rainy old day. Sigh. I dislike bad weather in general, especially on days when I have a fair bit of driving to do, and it's looking like it's going to last all day.

I have a number of errands to run today. I'm trying to get together with bronzite* for lunch since I haven't seen him in a while. Then I must hit Main Street to deposit a check and mail back the daggers from Julius Caesar to the company they were rented from. I also wouldn't mind getting over to the mall today. Lord and Taylor sent me a nice coupon, and maybe I could find something to take home with me for my mother for her birthday. I think I also might enjoy some aimless wandering around the mall; it's been a while since I've had any real leisure time out of the house.

I did not use my free evening yesterday as well as I'd hoped to. I spent most of it napping until I finally threw away the pretense and went to bed for real around ten-thirty. I had hoped to accomplish a bit more with my time, like finishing Labor Wars character sheets. But I've been feeling tired pretty constantly all this past week, and to be honest this is the first morning in a while I don't really feel draggy, so maybe all that sleep let me finally escaped that slump. I did get my laundry folded and put away, as well as some other small household chores, so that's something at least. After my errands today I want to get back on chore track, though. The house needs a good cleaning, and I haven't had any time before now. I hate making the place spotless just before I go home for a while (no time to enjoy it but plenty of time for remaining roommates to mess it back up :-P) but it's just not comfortable, and tomorrow I'm having dinner guests. Also I am determined to finish my two sheets for The Labor Wars meeting on Thursday. At the stage I'm at right now that is totally doable, I just have to buckle down.

Opening night for Caesar



Kind of a zombie this morning. Not sure why. Yeah, yeah, tech week and all, but I've been leaving before 1AM each night, and I even got about a three-hour nap yesterday. I've been tired a lot lately, even though I've been mostly getting enough sleep, and I am dismayed at the dark circles under my eyes. :-P I don't feel sick or anything otherwise, but this constant tiredness this week is bugging me.

Opening night tonight for Julius Caesar. I'm not sure when photo call will be happening. Possibly before and after the show tonight, possibly tomorrow night. It's okay, I can be ready for either. My trusty shot list will be ready to go. Also, I will be filming the performance on Friday. Shall have to figure out the best location to set up the camera. I'm not exactly an expert at camcorder operation, but I can point it at the action well enough.

Intercon J weekend report

Wow. What a con.

Back from Intercon now and back to the grind of regular life. I am happy, exhausted, and very thoughtful.

Friday night was Shadow Over Babylon. Not my favorite game of the weekend, but I certainly had a good time. There were lots of fun people in it to play with, which I enjoyed. One thing that occurred to me is that, having played in quite a few Cthulhu games by now, it's getting a little tougher to not metagame when playing a character who doesn't necessarily know about any of the mythos who is confronted by signs of their activity that are easily recognizable by me, the player. For example, if I see someone with clammy skin and a fishy expression, Phoebe knows right away-- Innsmouth look! There are Deep Ones around! But my character usually wouldn't have any idea, so I need to find a way to acquire that knowledge legitimately in game. I'm pretty good at waiting to use that information until I learn it in-character, but I never really thought about how, with the frequency of Cthulhu games, this is an increasingly common situation for me.

Stayed up way too late hanging with people Friday night. I think this con I felt slightly shier than normal. It may have been my imagination, but there seemed to be a fairly high number of people who I met through events like this but don't really see elsewhere whom, when I greeted them, didn't particularly seem to recognize me. Not everyone, of course, but enough. That made me feel kind of awkward about trying to talk to anyone whom I didn't have a definite preestablished relationship with, which made me kind of sad. But I enjoyed the company of those I did get to spend time with immensely.


Dragged myself out of bed early Saturday morning to play Super Villain Academy. Jared talked that game up to me after playing it last year, so I was very excited. It definitely lived up to the hype. It is a fun, silly melodrama in a comic booky context, very clever and very funny. I had kind of a tough job of trying to find people but not let on to why I wanted to know, so I had to come up with clever ways to introduce my interests for reasons unrelated to my real ends. I love plotting, so I spent a lot of time sitting in the chair thinking, then running off to try my plan, then running back to think some more, then trying my new plan. I found all of my targets, due to my clever plans, and never got caught! I was proud of myself. I also thought my costume worked out fantastically. I highly recommend this game if you ever get the chance.

After a quick lunch Saturday afternoon, I threw on my civilian clothes and ran to my gamespace to set up for Oz with Jared. I really liked the space they gave us, two small adjoining rooms with appropriate features to represent the space station. The group of players was fantastic, including a number of awesome Chicago larpers. Many plots were advanced further and many nuances came out in this run that never progressed so far before. And it's always interesting to see how people of different larp cultures approach a given material. I was surprised that many did not seem to understand the significance of character numbers-- as in, that they were something to be taken note of because they were meaningful. I use them as representative of a character's appearence; if you know a character's number, then you recognize their face. I'm including a note in the rules about that. The game ended with the galaxy blowing up. I was sorry for most of the players who did such an excellent job playing out their stories to have it all end like that, but I was impressed that the villain managed to win for once. I guess that's just Marc Blumberg for you. :-) All in all, Jared and I were quite pleased.


Saturday evening was The Last Seder. This was the game I'd been anticipating forever. I wasn't sure what I was going to think of it going in, but I knew I had to experience it. The format is unlike any I'd ever played before, alternating between a conversation game around a dinner table and a storytelling game with mini-characters you switch into the act out smaller tales. It is beautifully written and ingeniously designed. I was also impressed with the respect and reverence with which the religious material was approached, making it an interesting and enjoyable cultural experience as well. I'm not certain however that the structure really worked for me. It was really cool to have these stories inform the direction of the game, but having to march into another room and play out another character for a moment kind of broke the flow for me. The fact that I was incredibly tired by this point, which I think inclined my roleplaying to be sadder than I might have otherwise, may have contributed to my dislike of the interruption. Jared actually suggested that it might be less flow-breaking if one set of players played the main characters and another set of players made up a horde that performed the stories for them. I find that an interesting idea that I would probably prefer from a cast-character-player and presentation standpoint, but from a larp standpoint you'd probably end up with a horde that was bored during the conversation bits. Not to mention you might lose the significance of when the cast characters actually appear in the stories. Overall, an excellent, beautifully written game in an unconventional style that may not be to everyone's taste and may not even be to mine, but one I am very glad to have played and experienced at least this once.

I went to bed pretty much right after game wrap. So very, very tired. I'm sorry I missed the social time, but I was collapsing. I'm just not the sort of person who can get by without sleep, especially when I can't have my typical source of caffeine.


Sunday morning I got up as early as I could and helped Jared do some last minute prep for GM Space. I was going to play, but they turned out to have enough players after all, and I was still not terribly well-rested, so I jumped in for a sec and then left. I had to take care of getting us checked out of the hotel room anyway. Luckily I ran into our roommate oakenguy* as he was getting ready to leave, so I gave him a hug and thanked him for being so much fun to hang around with. Seriously, we were lucky to room with him. I made sure everyone was set, then got things taken care of at the front desk, which was a load off my mind. GM Space had some issues with personality conflicts and differences with player expectations, which Jared worried over, but most of them had a good silly time and none of the issues were his fault, or anything he could do anything about, so I told him not to worry about just be pleased that so many enjoyed his game.

All in all, it was a lovely weekend that I enjoyed immensely. The negatives were only very minor. I discovered when I arrived I didn't pack quite as well as I thought I did; there were a bunch of little things I forgot to take into account, like making sure I was wearing the right underwear to be able to change in front of roommates if necessary, or having at least one pair of flat shoes so my feet could have a break from heels. I'm pretty disappointed with myself for that, especially since I thought I'd been so careful. I should write myself a packing list now to use every year so I don't make those stupid mistakes again.

Also, I have concluded from this Intercon is that I cannot cram my schedule with as much as I did this weekend and maintain an acceptable level of energy. I played in three and a half games (played in GM Space until they had enough to be up and running) in addition to GMing Oz, and all that on top of how little sleep I got, I was so very, very draggy through much of the time there. Last Festival I did something in every slot, running four things and playing one, and as exhausted as I was by the end of it, it was a little easier on me because I've always found running less intense and demanding than playing, and because for that con I was allowed to have Coke with its lovely boost of caffiene. I imagine Anna Bradley at the end of this con was like, "WHY do we have so much extra Coke left over?" because it's still Lent, which means I'm still not allowed to have sugar, which means I couldn't go through the typical six liters or so that normally support my energy level over the course of Intercon. Unfortunately I can't abide the taste of coffee, so it wasn't available as a substitute. My ideal weekend schedule is playing two things and running one, I think. I can stand running more, but I can definitely play in no more than three events, and if I'm playing in three, then I'm not sure I want to add anything else by running. Does anyone else find that being the GM is easier than being a player? Or is it vice versa for you? I think for me, it's because being a player is active-- you have to take initiative and figure out what to do yourself --but being a GM is reactive-- you wait for the players to come to you, and everything else have already been figured out in advance.

Dead dog could have gone a little more smoothly, but concerning that I must say only that captainecchi*, electric_d_monk*, and laurion* are amazing and I thank them for how sweet they were. Tiredness and unnecessary struggles got to Jared and I by the end of it, but still, we loved the con, we loved the company, and we're excited, as always, for next year.

Next year in the Waltham Westin!

Long, lovely weekend

Friday night saw the closing performance of To Think of Nothing. Jared's and my parents came to see it-- I was also delighted to see emp42ress* and ultimatepsi* made it, so sweet of them --and it was flawless. I was so proud, and my dear ones were proud of me. Afterward, because they wanted it so badly, we did a naked tech run. Now, to say this was superfluous is putting it mildly. The naked tech run's primary purpose is to let the actors blow off steam after the stress of a long tech week, and the secondary purpose is to get in one more cue-to-cue before the show. This tech week had been so straightforward and positive that nobody was stressed, and we certainly didn't need to practice the tech for a show that had finished it's run! But the actors really really wanted it, so we went ahead. It turned out to be really fun and funny, and it didn't totally and utterly hurt my feelings to have my show ripped apart in front of me. ;-) We finished the night with a cast trip to IHOP, which was lovely. I don't know how I got so lucky that all the actors I wanted were not only talented but fun to hang around with. I'm also not sure how "hanging at a dirty pancake place" became the proper way to celebrate a good theatrical run, but it's a tradition that so many theater groups seem to hold dear.

Spent Saturday hanging with the family and doing chores. My brother and his girlfriend were both in shows in an Emerson showcase this weekend, so my family and Jared's went out to see it. After a lovely dinner at Legal Seafood (must get a recipe for that fantastic red onion jam on my swordfish) we saw Casey in a weird little piece that he was good in but I didn't get, and Sarah as Mrs. Breedlove in theatrical adaptation of Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye. Sarah's a quiet girl in real life, but onstage she has quite a presence, and it turns out she's pretty talented too. I was so tired by that point (after a tech week spent sick) that I wish we hadn't stayed for the last show, which was long and stupid and didn't involve anyone I cared about, but my mom wanted to spend a little more time with me. I was falling over by the time I finally crashed into bed at 1AM that night. I was glad my brother and Sarah did so well, and that my family and Jared's had such a good time together.

Sunday was spent doing a whole lot of nothing. I was so burnt that all I wanted to do was lay around and sleep, so I did. I feel quite refreshed after it, and almost back to full health. It feels so good to have accomplished that play. It's even caught on film to keep as a memento. There's still a few more things left to handle about it-- getting pieces back to the HTP storage room, planning the cast party, things of that nature --but we have achieved what we set out to do. I directed a play I wrote. And it's one of the coolest things I've ever done.

Thank you so much for sharing it with me.