State of the Phoebe

As you may have surmised by my last two posts based mostly around throwing up images, I have not felt very talkative or interesting the last several days. Overtime at work and lots of responsibilities have eaten up my brainspace. But I am committed to trying to post something every day to keep me always writing, even if it's just something short, even if I don't have anything particularly fascinating to say. So today in that spirit, I'm just going to give a general update on my life.

Work has been busy. I have mostly adjusted to accomodating my new responsibilities, but they fill my time a lot more tightly. This week I worked late several times in order to get things done by their deadlines. I need to limit my time at work so I can do homework without losing my mind, but I can use the extra money, as my budget's been a little tight recently.

Socially I've been somewhat withdrawn. Tiredness, a feeling of having nothing to say, and a desire for solitary pursuits have led me to retreat into my own company. It has allowed me to be very productive recently, which pleases me. I have worked out a lot, as well as worked on writing and sewing projects. I do miss hosting dinner parties, though. Haven't done it at all lately due to the being busy, weary, and in a budget crunch.

I am now preparing to go into the extremely brief, very high-intensity DREAM rehearsal period this August. Apparently it will last... two weeks. Hm. I seem to recall hearing at the audition that the process would be about a month, but apparently we've got two weeks. I know this is supposed to be a somewhat abbreviated, high-intensity, nontraditional production of Midsummer, but yikes. Got my script in the mail the other day, and as we are expected to come in off-book I have dutifully begun work. It's a pretty decent cut, slightly rearranged and pared down. As memorization goes, Midsummer is an easy show for it, as the dialogue is so musical. Helena in particular has some lovely speeches. I've got six scenes, and I'm already solid on the first one. I have also not cut my hair as per the director's request, though it's gotten so flat and lifeless it's driving me crazy. I want to just go get it trimmed and the layers touched back up without reducing the length, but hairdressers have a long history of ignoring my requests to not shorten it too much, and I really don't want to accidentally violate my promise to the director.

I have been working away at my school assignments. Mostly I've done the reading, I have quite a few plays and comic books to get through. As I mentioned, I've also started reworking Mrs. Hawking, the results of which you can read here. But there's a ton more to do. More reading, a plotting exercise, planning for my craft essay, planning more for the comic. I've really got to buckle down. I also need to start submitting my plays to more places for consideration for performance. Apparently some of my colleagues submit to like fifteen places a month in order to get anything at all, which I definitely haven't been doing. I just don't know where to find the submission opportunities. But I guess I'd better start looking.

So I'm a little stressed, a little withdrawn. But I seem to be getting things done.

Thirty seconds of choreography!

I finally bit the bullet and bought an alumni gym membership at Brandeis's Gosman Athletic Center. Until very recently the only criteria for admission was to flash a student ID at the kid sitting at the table by the door, and since I still have an ID that looks current, it was not obvious that I was no longer a student. I got away with doing that for over two years, until they switched the entrance policy to having to scan said ID in a card reader before you could be admitted. My ID is long since deactivated, so that was the end of that particular scam. An alumni gym membership costs a hundred and seventy-five dollars, which if you break that down on a per-month basis like most gyms is a great deal. It's just that my budget is tight enough that dropping that much money all at a shot is kind of painful. But I'm glad I did it, because I can start going again.

What I did with the very first day of my new membership is to commandeer the excellent dance studio and dance for an hour. I practiced ballet, and I also made my first real, solid progress on my choreography idea. I've been unable to get the idea of putting together an Avengers-themed dance production set to certain songs on the film soundtrack, with each dancer representing a different character, and even though it's kind of a silly idea I feel inspired and energized about it. So I want to see if I can do it. katiescarlett29* and I are looking into venues and everything. But after about an hour of noodling around listening to Comeback by Redlight King, one of my favorites on the soundtrack and clearly the Captain America song, I hammered out about thirty seconds of solid choreography that I feel good about. I just kind of danced improvisationally, doing whatever came naturally as I listened, and then took whatever came out nicely (re: non-clumsily) I worked on refining into a series of steps. A slow, undisciplined process, perhaps, as I danced for about an hour and only came out with thirty seconds I could use, but it's only a three-minute-thirty-second song, so I just need to do that six more times, right? ;-)

Quick bulleted update



Mixed bag here, some good and some bad. First, the good:

- It's official, I'm going to become a direct employee at Integralis rather than a contractor from an agency. Not sure when it's going to happen, but the process has been started. My rep is going to try to get me a pay increase, which would be really nice, but it's not like I'm going anywhere if it doesn't happen.

- I actually think I'm losing weight, which pleases me. I tried on some clothes that had started to fit like sausage casings and they were a lot more comfortable. My thighs are still too big and I'm still softer in the middle than I have been in years, but I am seeing results while still feeling good about my eating, so using the calorie counter has been working.

- Today I am going to upgrade my phone. I've had an iPhone 2 I think for about two years now and it's showing it age, running slow and blowing up constantly. I'm going to cash in my upgrade and get the new one.

Now the bad:

- Still haven't decided what my next project will be, because this week was an endless parade of expensive, pain-in-the-ass chores that all took longer than they should have. Had to pay to get my car fixed, chase down some undelivered packages, take the HTP props and costumes back to club storage, pick up new scrips for both Jared and me, pay a parking ticket and two hospital bills, and run all over creation trying to get the immunization hold lifted off my Lesley file so I can fucking register for classes. Some of that stuff is still not quite resolved, and I'm still stressing over getting it all done rather than trying to start something new and productive.

- Got back my final packet for the semester with my teacher's comments. My one-act is pretty much a mess, which is discouraging. I never loved it and only wrote it because I had to, but still, I didn't think it was as flawed as all that. And I have no fucking clue how to fix it. For a variety of reasons, I am not feeling particularly good about my work right now, so now I'm stuck between wanting to generate more theatrical writing to redeem myself and never wanting to look at that shit again.

- I want to act again, or direct somewhere other than of out Hold Thy Peace's pity, but nobody will fucking cast me or pick me for it. I don't know what I'm not doing right. I hear other auditions that I don't think are as good as mine, and yet I never get cast. And the directing resumes I send out never come back. I guess I'm not as good as I thought I was, and I'm getting fed up with trying and never getting anywhere.

Big beautiful copper bowl

As I've mentioned, I'm a huge fan of copper cookware. It delights me to no end to have it in my kitchen. Unfortunately it tends to be very expensive, especially when bought new. Today when I was doing my final costume run for Margaret I was in the Framingham Savers, on my way out, I spotted this lovely copper mixing bowl, ten inches across and about five quarts in volume.



And this is no piece of junk copper. Most of the copper I've been fortunate enough to find in thrift stores tends towards the cheaper sort, thinly coated, lacking the heft that characterizes the good stuff. This, however, is sturdy and substantial, not to mention a sizeable piece. Mauviel, the premier manufacturer of copper cookware in the world, sells a bowl of this size for $130.00.

I paid $2.99. HELL, YEAH.

Work likes me

Apparently they like me at my job. This makes me happy, as I actually kind of like it here and I've been making a real effort to be useful to have and pleasant to deal with. It's nice to feel like effort is paying off and that I'm actually doing something right. Honestly I think it would be more notable if I WASN'T doing a good job at some of this stuff; most of my job is pretty easy, like the document formatting that I've gotten particular praise for, but it's nice that people think well anyway. There's even been talk of offering me something full-time, which at one point was something I would have really wanted (I worked part-time against my preference for a year and three-quarters) but now that I have schoolwork to do again I'm not sure how many more hours I can take on and not spend every free moment doing homework. Despite the fact that I don't have classes to go to my course load is actually pretty substantial, and even now I'm having trouble fitting it all in. Still, I could certainly use the extra cash. I took out my very first loans ever to pay for grad school, and with that debt it makes me think I should be preparing to cover it as early as possible.

My boss says she wants to talk to me on Monday about my future with the company, strongly implying that what they want is for me to committ more time to working here in some way. I don't know if she means planning on working here for some time to come, or taking on something full-time, or what. She said I should take the weekend to think about what I might want. But I'm not sure what I want. I do like it here, and this seems to work well while I'm doing graduate school. But the truth is that being an admin isn't exactly my ideal job. Hell, my ideal job is actually writing for a living, but that can take a very long time of building a career as a writer before you can totally rely on it. For a lot of people it never really becomes their full-time job. Having a decent day job that pays well and where they like me and I know I can do well isn't a bad thing to have when your "true work," as I call it, isn't something that's easy to support yourself with. But even then, I'd kind of hoped my day job would be something more in my field, like being an editor or something like that. Still, I hadn't had any success finding myself that kind of position thus far, and I'd still have to be pursuing wriitng separately from my day job, whatever that day job may be. So maybe it's worth it to take what opportunities are offered to me, since it won't change my pursuit of my true work.

At the very least, I'm planning on staying here through my two years of grad school. But I'll have to think about anything beyond the scope of that.

Staying positive

Gah, what an insanely busy week. My office has been packed with high-ranking executives from other branches of the company, so I had a lot of additional responsibilities relating to accommodating them. They were all very nice, and since a lot of it involved organizing breakfast and lunch it played to my skill set, but it meant I came in early and stayed late almost every day this week and was constantly running from one thing to the next to cram in all my work. On top of that, I've been trying to run errands and do homework for an upcoming due date through intermittent bouts of randomly getting sick. All of this has left me kind of stressed out and overwhelmed, which is threatening to make me withdrawn and down. So in an effort to combat that, I shall take a moment to focus on the good things that have happened lately.

- I am steadily learning how to use my sewing machine. Lise's tips have helped, and I've been getting in some good practice. Moreover, it's an activity I'm enjoying doing, and I'm looking forward to making more things.

- I am sticking to my resolution to eat better, and actually making myself exercise on a regular basis. I don't think it's taken off any weight yet, but that takes time and patience.

- My finances are unusually comfortable this month. I budgeted carefully, and getting a little overtime didn't hurt.

- Apparently I impressed some people at work enough that they asked if I might be interested in a full-time opportunity. I had to regretfully decline, as I really don't have time with my homework to do as well, but it was nice that somebody thought well of me.

- Preparation for Merely Players goes well. Steph has agreed to be producer for it, and she is excellent at getting all the details organized for putting on a show. We are moving forward nicely, and I am super-excited to cast and work on the show.

If I focus on the positive, then maybe I won't feel so overwhelmed.

You know, this job is actually okay

You know what, I actually sort of like my new job. At least, I like it a lot better than my old one. I'm helping out an office manager in a technological security company called Integralis, and I am actually kind of surprised to find I enjoy it much more than working at the educational non-profit I used to. I was not expecting to like the more corporate atmosphere better than the laid-back one at the non-profit, nor to find it easier to work with practical business-minded people as opposed to ivory tower intellectuals. I think it's because I'm very oriented towards getting things done, and they are much better about that here. I also feel more useful and respected, as there's a lot more they need me to do, and I am actually trusted to do things that matter and given some actual agency to get them done. If I need to contact somebody, I can contact them without necessarily having to check with somebody first. If I need to purchase something to get a job done, I am not only trusted with the credit information but also to use it judiciously. On top of that, I am getting more hours than before at a better pay rate, so it would have a big thing in its favor even if everything else were the same.

I have come to realize that if I ever am able to do my true "work" as my profession, or even my primary one, it will probably not be until later in life. I am a writer, and it can take ages to make it, if you ever do, such that you are paid a living for what you write. That means that in order to be this thing that I know I am, I am probably going to spend most of my life with a job that is just a job and not my true vocation. But it's nice to know that if that's the way it has to be, I can feel okay in the jobs I will have to have.

More walking



Now that the weather is finally warming back up, I think it's time to rededicate myself to the resolution to start walking whenever possible rather than jumping in the car. I can't bear the cold, so I drove everywhere to shield myself from having to spend time outside. But God knows I need the exercise, though I did manage to work out four times last week. Let's see if I can do at least that well this week, even though when I'm really in a groove I can do it six. But also quite pressing is the rising prices of gas, which haven't been this high around here for ages. I could really do without spending that chunk of change on so regular a basis. The only trouble is time-- I certainly don't mind the effort, I actually actively enjoy walking places, but it can be so much more time-efficient to drive instead. Often my life is so tightly scheduled (as yesterday was, yowza) that I just can't spare the minutes in my already packed day plan. The solution is probably just to not overschedule myself, but knowing me that is easier said than done. I do better, especially with the emotional hole I've had such a hard time digging myself out of these last few months, when I have more going on, more things to do, more projects to work on, more things to think about.

Today when I got out of work Jared and I walked the mile to the grocery store and back, so that's something already. :-)

Housing next year

So after much stress, much wrangling, and much worrying, at last I have my housing situation figured out for next year.

After three years there, I am finally moving out of Elsinore. Though I was pretty contented with what I could do there, it really is time. The landlord is impossible to deal with, the heating bills in the winter have been insane, not to mention a host of sundry other little annoyances that add up to a fair-sized pain. So, especially when it became clear I was not going to find suitable roommates to fill in those who were definitely moving on, I decided it was best to move on too.

So now, with lovely friends blendedchaitea* and my current roommate Emily, I will be moving to the other side of Brandeis to a three-bedroom apartment on 51 Morton Street. (Emily is going to be a graduate student at Brandeis next year, so staying close to the school was necessary for her.) This is, interestingly, also about a block away from Albion, where Steph, Plesser, April, Lenny, and Jenna will be living next year. Features of this new place that are a definite improvement over Elsinore are the wide driveway (no need for stacking and therefore constant carswapping), TWO bathroom for THREE people, a huge kitchen with plenty of counter space, new appliances including a dishwasher, significantly cheaper heat and electric bills, and only having to share the place with two others instead of four. I actually have enjoyed living with all of my current group of roommates, but more people means more crowding and more mess, which I will be glad to have to deal with less.

Also, it looks like I will not have to be compromising on bedroom space. I was initally interesting in this really neat-shaped room upstairs with cool nooks and crannies and a whole separate space with a door almost like a walk-in closet for where the bed goes, but after some measurements were taken I realized my bedroom furniture was probably not going to fit. So Rachel will have that room, and I will have the sizeable downstairs bedroom that will more easily accommodate all my stuff. It's one odd feature is that it doesn't have a closet so much as a storage space, of good size but unfinished inside. I am actually okay with that, as I am confident that if I laid down a piece of carpet and got moveable clothes racks I could basically make it into a pleasant little walk-in. I've always wanted a walk-in closet, so that should work out nicely. Also, as it is on the ground floor, that means the ground floor bathroom is basically mine when we don't have guests.

There are some downsides. As it is only a three-bedroom, there is considerably less common space. That probably means while dinner parties can still happen, the big parties I have every now and then probably won't fit. That makes me sad. Also it will probably mean having to get rid of some of my furniture, seeing as pretty much all the stuff in the commons spaces is mine. My baker's rack, for example, may not have a home (unless I repurpose it into a shelf for my planned walk-in closet...). The washer and dryer are coin-op, though I am grateful enough that they are on-premises that I don't really mind. It will also mean something of a raise in rent for me, which I am hoping with my new job won't be quite so burdensome, but we'll see. But the positives outweight the negatives by far for me. I will really miss living with Charlotte, Jane, and Ryan, all of whom someone managed to overcome my hermit tendencies to make me actually enjoy being roommates with them, but I am very excited to live in this new place with Rachel and Emily.

It's going to be kind of a relief to me, to be honest. All it needs now is a name. I myself am partial to "Illyria," but I would also be amenable to Rachel's idea of "Arden."

HTP party, and housing concerns

I am super psyched for the Hold Thy Peace tenth anniversary party this Saturday. It's going to be really big with food and lots of HTPers and an open mic portion of the evening and it's going to go late into the night. I don't know if I'll stick around for the sleepover, seeing as my actual bed is going to be a couple streets away, but I would like to show back up for pancakes in the morning. I am struck with the desire to wear something fun for it, so I might dress up if that's not too out of place.

A little stressed about housing for next year. It looks like I may have found new people to occupy Elsinore for the coming year, but they're not friends and I think I've gotten used to living with people I like AND live well with. Not delighted with that, but at least I'd keep my bedroom and my entertaining space and wouldn't have to move. I'm also a little bit nervous that things might change and somebody isn't going to be sticking around after all, in which case I'll either have to chase someone new down, or else find another place. It could be that there isn't much on the market yet with June 1st move in dates, but my cursory explorations have not revealed much that would work for me. Definitely nothing one-bedroom in my price range, so I'd have to find at least one roommate, and I don't know who I would even ask about that. My new job is in Waltham, so I don't want to move too far from that. *Sigh* This is complicated stuff, and it's starting to make me edgy. We'll see what happens, I guess.

Writing stuff

Officially hit the halfway point with sheets in The Stand. Not bad, but given how little time I've got left, I've really got to ramp up production. I like what I have so far-- I like really plot heavy games, and so far I have yet to write a sheet that I am concerned will not give a character enough to do. This weekend I am basically installing myself at my desk with the goal of getting more than one sheet a day finished. I will accept no fewer than four sheets accomplished at the end of that period, though I will be shooting more for six. That will give my schedule a bit of a boost. I also should probably write up a rules sheet to send out sooner rather than later. The rules aren't complicated for the game, but they still should have some explanation beforehand.

Resonance is so very, very close to being done. We really are down to the loose ends at this point, and some finishing touches that will give the game that little extra something. I just wrote two pieces of my final assignment, have two more pieces to do, one of which is arranging with a certain Jonathan Plesser to contribute a voice. I am enlisting his acting (and language) talents to record a little piece for the project. :-)

In neat news, I got my first paycheck from Examiner.com! I am ridiculously pleased. On a per-article basis, it's a pretty small payout, but still! I made money off writing something! That's kind of a thrill. Not as cool as the time I was paid to run Alice in Chicago, but really cool all the same.

Accepted

Earlier this week I received notice that I was accepted into the Writing for Stage and Screen MFA program at Lesley University. :-)

I am really pleased by this. I have been ready to move forward professionally for a while now, and getting into this program will give me a chance to develop my writing as well as work towards an advanced degree. It's a two-year low-residency program, which means I will generate several significant pieces of writing and critical analysis over the course of four semesters and be in correspondance with a professor who will give me feedback and guide a process of revision.

I got in on the strength of To Think of Nothing, since that was the piece I used to apply. All four professors who made the decision liked it a lot, which makes me feel really good. The program also gives opportunities for plays to be staged, and entrances into competitions to have work more widely recognized. That's pretty exciting.

It doesn't start until June, so I have some time to kill before then. I still need to figure out the finances of this, so I'm glad for the breathing room. The amorphous structure of the program means I'll still be able to work part-time, which is good. And thankfully all the larp writing will be finished by then.

So this is a really nice thing. It's nice to have something positive happen, after being so rough for so long. :-)

Quietly rich

I think it would be cool if one day by some miracle I could be one of those quietly rich people. The sort that you never would guess is rich, because they don't obviously look or seem it. Always dressed nicely but not ostentatiously, never throws cash around, doesn't have any unusual lifestyle habits like a driver or things like that. And yet, still able to accomplish whatever they would like or need at the drop of a hat with no trouble at all. Picking up dinner, paying for parking, being comfortably able to lay out to make things run more smoothly and more pleasantly. With my upbringing, no matter how rich I ever am, I will never be the sort to spend frivolously or ostentatiously-- I see it as the ultimate in bad taste, and irresponsible to boot --but I like the notion that no matter the context, "doing things right," from trips into the city to see special plays to sending my kids to the college of their choice, will never be beyond me. I like the power and the choices that confers. Of course, who doesn't? It has been the root of so many of man's pursuits for well and for ill. I am no great lover of material things, but the security of having the means to handle things, as well as the freedom to do what I want, is as appealing to me as it is to anyone else.

Unsettled, trying to be hopeful

Nervous today, unsettled. Brain is going a mile a minute in a million different directions. Have been pretty productive, though; got all my work done so far and even wrote my third Examiner article for the week; that puts me way ahead of schedule. Maybe I channel some of this intensity into writing now. That would be great. Haven't done enough writing this week; the weekend will have to be devoted to it.

There are lots of people I don't know following me on Twitter. Wonder why that is. Maybe it's from my Examiner profile? I think that's the only place my Twitter name is posted with a high likelihood of being seen by people who don't already know me. It could be their way of following my articles. If so, that's cool, I guess. More readers, more hits, eventually more money. It doesn't make much at all, but I suppose it's more than I'm usually paid for writing, eh? Maybe eventually it will work its way up.

Again and again, I am confronted by how against my nature it is to hold out hope. I am a realist on my best days, a pessimist on average, and on my worst certain the universe might as well just kill itself now. Right now I've got something ahead of me that could be really good, something that should be proving to me that there are reasons to stay hopeful. But I'm having a hard time shaking the thought that I have been in this position many times before, and it's never worked out the way I wanted. What I should be focusing on is that this is a new chance, something that came from my efforts to make things better. That should be reason enough for hope. It's just really hard for me to get rid of the thought of "Why should this time be any different?" I am learning. I am resolved in 2011 to try to learn.

I dressed up pretty today to try and feel better. It helped a little. Black skirt with simple tan floral pattern on it, white tuxedo skirt, red leather jacket, black tights, black strappy ballet flats. Amber earrings, anniversary necklace. I look nice, if a little formal. The jacket mitigates that a bit. Would look nicer with heels, but I'm not sure how much walking I'll have to do today. You'd think because the skirt is neutral I'd wear it with all kinds of colors on top, but for some reason I always just seem to pair it with black or white. Should try something more creative. Went with the tights are because they're prettier, and my leggings have finally bit it. Reminds me, I've been meaning to get some new leggings. They're good for wearing certain skirts in the winter, and I like the way they look under my tall boots. I wonder if I could pull off any color besides black. Maybe gray, but I'm not sure I'd like the look of chromatic leggings on me. Who knows, captainecchi* looked fantastic in purple tights on New Year's, maybe it's worth a try.

God, my brain is scattered. Still, I seem to be able to be productive in spite of it. Should be writing something for the projects. Trying to work up The Stand bluesheet. Wanted to see if I could do it in the form of a newspaper, to add to the diagesis without sacrificing information. Wish me luck.

Finally eating healthy again

 

Since Jared has gotten back, my eating habits have taken an unexpected turn for the better, and accordingly his have too. We've resolved to help each other stick to a sensible budget, and I am proud to say we have cooked dinner and made most lunches almost every day since we've been back in Waltham. We've been very busy, what with all the errands we've needed to run in order to get his new living situation in order, so we have been active and without a lot of extra time to snack between meals. Also because we haven't had a lot of time, we've been eating a lot of salads because they are quick and easy to prepare. My vegetable intake has been way up, and my calorie intake has been way down. Physically I feel better and healthier than I have in a long time. I'm hoping that if we keep it up we will both take off the little bit of extra weight we've put on. Plus, a pleasant side effect of cooking at least once day is that it forces us to keep up with the dishes, because we know we will be needing the kitchen clear again shortly when we prepare the next meal.

Red leather and chains, oh my! ;-)

When I was home for Thanksgiving last week, my mom gave me one of her jackets that doesn't fit her anymore. It is waist-length in a gorgeous red leather that is soft as butter. It's just a little too big, but that just means I'll be able to wear layers under it for warmth. I really love it, so expect to see me wearing it a lot this winter, since even staying indoors lately I still seem to need a coat.

Nice, huh? I like it a lot. 

Last night I was struck with an idea for my Leash costume. I am definitely going with the leggings and tall boots, but I was stuck on what to wear on top beyond I knew I wanted an outer layer to represent my main personality and an inner layer for my alternate one. I think the outer layer needs to be a big, fuzzy, good-girl-looking sweater, particularly one I can get on and off easily for when I switch. The inner layer... well, I don't want to ruin the surprise reveal, but suffice it to say I have an idea that involves repurposing the chains on my bondage pants. ;-) I think they're detachable, right? I didn't get a chance to experiment with it last night, so today I'll have to do some messing around to see if my idea is even vaguely feasible.

Yesterday when I was at the drugstore I saw they were selling a lot of Sylvania kitchen appliances on massive discount. Among them was a three-cup mini food processor for thirteen dollars, reduced to ten if you mailed in a rebate. I have been tempted by mini-processors before, since they are less expensive than the full-sized kind and more convenient for certain jobs, but always passed on them thinking I should just save my money for the real thing. Still, this one was so cheap, I figured why not try it. I'm a little afraid I will totally get what I paid for, in which case it wouldn't even be worth it, but who knows, it might be serviceable. Of course, the minute I mentioned all this to my mom on the phone this morning, she asked if I wanted a real food processor for Christmas. So now I feel a bit silly. Ah, well. It might be nice to have a full-sized one and a miniature one depending on the cooking job.

Finally the last packed weekend

Jared is going to be in town this weekend! He has an interview at a nonprofit in Springfield, which is sadly a bit of a drive away, but at this point I will just be happy to have him within driving distance. He'll be closer and more accessible than he was in Chicago at least, and for that alone I am happy and optimistic. But after the interview Thursday he'll be coming into Waltham to spend the weekend.

I also got a silly little writing gig on a website called Examiner.com, where you write a few short little articles a week on a topic you're interested in, and depending on a lot of factors including pageviews, you get paid something for it. My first two articles have just been old LiveJournal entries I've adapted to fit their guidelines, which I did because I should be busy this weekend and I wanted to make sure I got in at least two before the end of the week. I don't expect a lot to come of it-- I think I've made twenty-nine cents so far --but who knows, I guess it's worth a try. This is my profile if you'd care to toss a click to two my way. Much obliged.

Even before Jared was coming, my weekend promised to be busy. Saturday will be Like Putting a Leash on a Rocket Launcher in which I have a pretty out-there character that will require some pretty, uh, uninhibited behavior. Heh. Ah, well, it will be an interesting challenge, and we'll see how it goes. I'm playing one of the E-phos and as such have a dual personality. I'm wondering if there's an easy way to represent that with costuming. At the moment I'm thinking I'll wear my black leggings and tall boots, but not sure about what to go with on top. Maybe I'll wear two layers of top such that the inner layer represents the alternate personality and can be revealed whenever I switch. And then there is the next session of captainecchi*'s tabletop game on Sunday. Must check on where we will be meeting for that.

All in all, it should be a very fun, active weekend. Also, it will mark the last weekend in the "I am totally booked up" series, and I will finally have some free time on Saturday and Sunday again. Knowing me, I will immediately fill it all with activities.

SLAW 2010 Report

Am now back from my lovely weekend of larping at SLAW. This was kind of my weekend of "games I am not sure about," since in an effort to expand my larping horizons I signed up for all games that were not to my typical inclining. By and large this tactic was a success, and I had a very good weekend overall.

Friday night Charlotte, April, and I all played in Martha Stewart's Guide to Interdimensional Summoning (and Basting a Turkey.) Fortunately Charlotte had reminded me just before the game that it actually took place at a party and not at a business conference like I originally assumed, so at the last minute I changed my costuming plan. I thought I looked quite nice, wearing my black asymmetric cocktail dress with my white gold anniversary necklace, the nearly-matching silver infinity earrings, silver pumps with the perfectly-matching silver bag, and my silver-gray pashmina over my shoulders. Though I had a good time in it, this game was not to my taste. It was a game purely about schmoozing, with most interactions conducted solely for their own sake, which is totally fine, I just tend to prefer a little bit more plot. I did end up bonding with the demon who had been my childhood imaginary friend, but I did it mostly as a favor to him-- he needed it and I didn't, which I think may have been a common thing about demons and humans in the game. Glad I tried the game, had a nice time, but it was not exactly what I was hoping for.

Saturday morning I drove Charlotte and Ryan in early so that they could play in their morning games. I had nothing in that slot, so I decided to go cruise a nearby thrift store. It was a very nice, well-organized Goodwill, and there were lots of stuff to choose from. Unfortunately most of the things that caught my eye weren't in my size, but I find it amusing how often even in the thrift stores my eye is drawn to items from Express. Very frequently I see something I like the cut and styling of among lots of random pieces on the rack, and when I check the tag, Express is the maker with surprising frequency. I ended up taking home a fantastic black sweater with a drapey fold-over collar, two dressy knee-length skirts, one with an orange and white cloudy pattern and the other with swirls in various shades of red, and the neatest thing of all, a low-sided oval pan with a copper bottom and a stainless steel interior. It needs polishing, but this pan that looks just like it is selling for hundreds of dollars, and I snagged this one for four. Score! I'm not sure what you would call such a thing-- it's oval kind of like a gratin pan but only has one long handle, and the sides are too low for a saute pan --but I look forward to shining it up and cooking with it, which will promptly require shining it again. :-)

Pleased with my haul, I returned to WPI to grab lunch and get into costume for The Sound of Drums. I wasn't sure if it was going to be my cup of tea, and I was fairly certain I would like Two Hours in London, but natbudin* had highly recommended it and I trust the man's judgment. So, in the spirit of the Try New Games weekend, I went for it. My costume wasn't terrible, but it was weaker than my usual standard. Despite playing a sixty-plus-year-old, I did end up wearing my brown tribal-looking bikini with my brown pashmina tied around my waist like a skirt, and Charlotte kindly lent me her huge patterned green scarf to wrap around my shoulders. This mostly concealed all the decidedly-not-sixty-year-old body in the bikini, and I made some attempt to paint age makeup on my face, but I didn't white my hair and overall looked pretty much like the vain twenty-something I am. Also, I think I lost my brown and white headband scarf at the gamespace afterward, which I am annoyed with myself about.

But the game itself was excellent. The world is very full and well-thought-out. I loved my character and was incredibly busy throughout the whole game. I also had great interactions with Susan, who was my brilliant-but-mad younger sister, and Ryan, who was the troubled outsider with the haunting in his soul. I even got to use my badass spiritual strength to beat up a fallen god! It was awesome. The culture they built, with its ways and its norms that were so different and unusual, was really well-made. There was one small instance of "Christianity as the great bogeyman of non-mainstream living" that irked me, but otherwise I thought they did a really nice job of establishing the foreign people. There was also lots of interesting story told, which pretty much makes any game for me. Overall, I think this was my favorite larp of the weekend, and the one I was most glad that I took a chance on. Congrats to Tory and Lily for making it!

Saturday night was Clarence. By this point I was really dragging, energy-wise. This weekend marks the third week in a row of little sleep and poor eating, and I think I am reaching my limit. Luckily for me, Clarence is a game that is impossible to screw up, and I was playing an AGM so I could afford to be reactive rather than active. Fortunately, others were doing a fantastic job of pushing the game along. This run was blackbagged and carried off over the shoulder by electric_d_monk*, whose portrayal of the fanatically German-nationalist GM Bucher drove the events by sheer force of personality. By the end of the run, we had vampires passing on their nationalities as well as their vampirism, resulting in bronzite*'s General and rigel*'s Carmilla being determined to be genetically perfect Aryans who of course must then go on to spawn the Master Race. With the use of the time accelerator to hasten their growth, soon we had six little Ubermensches prancing about named after the Von Trapp children singing songs from The Sound of Music. And naturally, these unstoppable German supermen went on to take over the world and some surrounding planets, leaving Brewer as Kaiser of the Earth and Mars. It was a typically insane run, but the birth of the Master Race, I think, was a uniquely amusing touch.

"Allow me to explain zee rules of Der Kriegspiel."

Sunday lightgamer* was nice enough to let me ride over with him and twilighttremolo*. I was signed up for In the Jungle that day, the final game of the sort I wasn't sure what I'd think of. But I like the work of emp42ress* and simplewordsmith*, so I wanted to see what it was like. My costume was like most of my others this weekend was a little half-assed, since I tend not to keep worn-out clothes around, but I settled on an outfit that when my parents last saw me in it told me I looked like a bum. I figured that would work. It is a game about hobos, a pure conversation exercise where we do nothing more than talk to each other in character. The game was at bare minimum cast, but it was a good one, including myself, natbudin*, rigel*, nyren*, beholdsa*, and electric_d_monk*. Being in it with such good larpers helped a lot, keeping the converstion interesting and helping ease some of the awkwardness I was feeling about just having to spitball. Not something I'm certain I want to do again any time soon, but I enjoyed the experiment in this instance and I'm glad I decided to give it a try.

Now I am exhausted. I have been going at a breakneck pace for the last three weeks and I simply can't go any more. I have been kind of hoping that if I have one day where I sleep really well and eat properly it will fix my weariness and the mess my digestive system has been in, but I think I need a more consistent effort to really fix things up. Wednesday I will be going home for Thanksgiving with my brother, and I'm hoping to reset myself over that break with healthy eating and enough rest. I have things I need to get done in the near future, such as writing more Resonance characters and getting out the casting questionnaire for The Stand, but as cool as my activites have been, I think my body needs a bit more of a break before it will feel back to normal again.

Trip to King Richard's Faire

Saturday was a lovely trip to King Richard's Faire with Bernie and lightgamer*. I haven't been to a Renaissance Fair in years, so I was very excited to do this. I'm really glad we ended up doing it when we did, as the rest of my weekends are booked up until my death. ;-)

First of all, I like the atmosphere. I'm always so impressed to see the fairgrounds for these things. I love that they actually built permanent structures with neat pseudo-medieval appearences to house the works of the vendors and artisans. It makes it so much more immersive, and I'm pretty shocked that somebody was actually willing to front the cost for it! ANd we saw lots of people in garb of varying degrees of awesomeness. Favorites included a terryfingly badass looking pirate, an extremely complex gypsy outfit, and the man covered in green body paint apparently dressed as a troll. Least favorites as always include the sneakers worn with elaborate dresses, and the women who cram themselves into corsets such that their breasts resemble freshly risen pizza dough that is pinched in awkward ways. Is that supposed to be sexy? Meh.

I wanted to find a neat thing to buy while I was there, like a costume item or a neat piece of jewelry, and perhaps something as a present for Jared. But sadly everything that caught my eye was extremely expensive and nothing within my price range appealed to me enough to spend the money. I brought a hundred dollars with me to spend, and after purchasing fifteen dollars worth of food tickets (clever scam they've got going with that there), I ended up putting the rest back into my savings account. I must say, in the long run it's probably more satisfying to see that safely put away than blown on Renaissance memorabilia. Ah, well. Still no corset for me, I suppose.

As a side note, I am developing kind of a sour-grapes dislike of corsets. I want to like them, but I never can find one that looks good on me. My experiences with them tend to consist mostly of my torso being too narrow for the laces, thus in no way benefiting my waist, and my breasts just kind of slipping pathetically behind the bodice part, thus in no way benefiting my bust. I have about a twenty-five-inch waist, and according to the ladies who helped me try one on, I should be shooting for a size twenty-three corset, which they didn't have in stock because "All the tiny sizes sell out really quick." I was a little shocked to hear that, seeing as most people around my size tend to be fairly young, and young people don't tend to have the money to blow on expensive costume pieces like a corset, but maybe they just don't make many to begin with. Ah, well, I suppose it's good I didn't spend the money, as I am both young and not financially free. And to be honest I find the look rarely works quite the way I like it anyway. Girls with big racks all-too-often end up with the pizza dough problem, and girls with small racks end up looking kind of pitiful and meager all shoved up like that. I even saw some girls built similarly to me in corsets, and frankly the way the corset wasp-waisted them looked weirdly disproportionate, and their boobs were just sort of sad. To make matters worse, the corsets gave even these skinny little slips a hideous overflow of BACK FAT, and I would rather wear a burlap sack than a garment that inflicts that particular atrocity on me. *Sigh* I probably would have to have a custom-made one if ever I am to own one that actually fits and flatters, and that is certainly not in my budget right now.

My favorite part of any Renaissance Fair, though, is always the joust. I love watching the knights thunder around on their horses performing feats of martial skill, and I like the pagentry of the storyline that usually goes around it. This time there was a black knight, masked to conceal his identity, competing who turned out to be Sir Joseph, a knight of the court who was banished for a murder he claimed was actually committed by Sir James, the most psychotic of his jousting opponents. After literally reciting the Old Code from Dragonheart (squee!) they squared off in a duel to the death to restore the victor's honor. The knights were asked if they swore to adhere to the rules of chivalrous conduct. Quoth Sir Joseph: "I do." Quoth Sir James: "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Yes, clearly this man is absolutely incapable of committing murder. Their battle, though, was absolutely badass, with them getting knocked off their horses and going at it hand-to-hand.

Now, I know this stuff is staged, and that somebody has to come up with what goes on in these shows. And apparently somebody was like, "Okay, armed combat is awesome, but you know what your average swordfight is missing? FIRE!" So Sir James attacked Sir Joseph with a flaming sword, and was literally SETTING everything on fire! He set Sir Joseph's clothes on fire! Sir Joseph grabbed a whip, and he set the whip on fire! Every time he cracked the whip, the flame flashed and burst! Let me tell you, nothing takes an awesome thing and makes it even more awesome like throwing some fire into the mix! By the end of this epic fire-soaked battle, Sir James as well as the knights' two seconds lay dead upon the sand. Yes, Sir Joseph, now that I have seen you bring about the deaths of three separate men, I now believe that you are not in fact a murderer. :-)

I wonder if I could get a job as a script writer for the Ren Fair. You don't even have to be historically accurate, just suitably dramatic. That would be awesome. Is there an application I can fill out?

Afterward, Bernie, Matt, and I came back and finished the evening with low-key chatting and playing of video games. It was a lovely day, all and all, and the company was excellent. I'd love to go back, perhaps in an even bigger group, but I think I may not have time before the end of the season. If you're thinking of going, I heartily recommed it.

Here go I with frivolous spending

So I've had this idea of purchasing a sideboard or a long thin side table for the living room for a while now, and last week it seemed like I had finally found something on Craigslist that fit my desires and budget. I found a very handsome dark-wood piece for just forty dollars and figured I'd lucked out. Unfortunately it turned out to be a lot bigger than I thought it would be, too big for what I wanted, and wouldn't have quite fit in my car anyway, so I regretfully passed on buying it. That left me with an extra forty dollars in my budget that I hadn't expected to have. So, of course, instead of saving it for rent or whatever, when I dropped off a couple of size-too-large sweaters at the thrift store, I allowed myself some time to browse to see if there was anything I liked.

I have to say, thrifting can be great when you're small. A lot of the time people who were small at some point don't stay small, so a lot of small clothes get donated, and of those people that used to be small, they were not usually small for long, so their small clothes tend to be less worn. An excellent example would be the really elegant pencil skirt I found. It's a dark green floral weave pattern on a black background, cut in the old-fashioned style all the way up to the true waist. Not as comfortable as hip-height, but very chic in a retro sort of way. And frankly if I were so much as an inch wider in the waist or even the hip, there would have been no chance of my fitting into it.

I've also had this bee in my bonnet about trying to incorporated dresses into my daily wardrobe, so I checked the dress racks as well. Of course I didn't find anything interesting that would be appropriate for day wear, but I did find a very sexy fancy black dress with an asymmetric hem and only one shoulder strap that fits me like a glove. I must find an excuse to wear this sometime soon. Amusingly, I chose it in part because it was a similar style and material to my beloved backless cocktail dress, and when I compared the two upon arriving home I realized it is the same brand.

The last thing I looked at were the sweaters. I'm interested in sweaters again as summer seems to have been blackbagged and kidnapped off somewhere already, and they're good for wearing to work. As I've said before, thrifting sweaters can be a tricky proposition, as they wear so badly that donated ones are often too stretched out to really look nice. But I actually got very lucky, finding an XS burgundy-purple Banana Republic v-neck made of merino wool. Merino is a lovely, maintainable material, and the cut was such that it would look equally nice worn alone, or with a collared blouse underneath it. Work-apparel score!

I had planned on the cavalcade of spending to end there, but not quite. Yesterday I went to Westborough to spend the evening hanging out with acousticshadow2*, and I got there crazy early because I misjudged how bad the traffic would be. We had a lovely time hanging out, hitting a coffee shop before having dinner at a place with the charmingly multicultural name of "Jose Murphy's," which offered a ten-cent taco night. It was a lot of fun, though I could have done without the rain driving down so hard that my windshield wipers literally could not work fast enough. But beforehand, while I waited for her to get off of work, I wandered around in some of the nearby stores in the plaza. One of which was a very interesting store filled up various kinds of unfinished pine furniture, and the second was a TJMaxx.

My mother tells me TJMaxx used to be a great place to find famous labels from last season at discounted prices, but in recent years department stores seem to mostly fill it with lower-end brands they couldn't get rid of in stores. Still, every now and then if you look carefully enough, you can find a gem. I found myself drawn to a display of lovely leather gloves in many interesting colors. I kind of wanted a bunch of the colors, because I like matching my gloves to my scarf when I'm bundled up against the cold, but I was drawn mostly, as usual, to the basic black. There was unfortunately no completely plain ones, which I would have preferred, but I did like the look of the ones with the slight gathering of material around the wrists. They were twenty dollars marked down from fifty, which for genuine leather with silk lining is not a bad deal. I really hadn't planned on buying anything else, but I've always wanted a pair of nice leather gloves, and I know I'll certainly wear them all winter. So in the end I went for it.

Though I'm not exactly thrilled at how easily the rarely-had extra cash slipped through my fingers, I am proud of myself for being able to find reasonably-priced items that please me, fit me, and will see actual use. So not a total loss, right?