Recently it was pointed out to me that the sign that I have utterly dismissed someone as having completely lost my respect (whether just for the moment or more lastingly) is when I call them a child.
I can't respect an adult who behaves like a child. I'm not talking about liking to play with Legos or blowing bubbles in your chocolate milk. I'm talking about being responsible for your actions and being held to a certain standard of behavior. The way I see it, adults are obliged to conduct themselves with a certain degree of accountability that means it's just not acceptable to do something unfair or irresponsible, especially in regards to the people around you.
The opposite is to be expected from the immature, the unformed. Children flake on their commitments. Children need people to hold their hand through obligations they find uncomfortable or unpleasant, or push them off on someone else. They whine, they don't control themselves or their emotions, they don't handle things maturely. These things grind my nerves like nothing else, and while I can put up with it from someone who's not grown up enough to handle themselves, I can't stand it in someone who should know better by now.
If you want these things, fine. But if you're going to act like a child, then I get to treat you like one. I don't consider your opinion to have much weight. I don't trust you with or count on you for anything. I do not accord you any particular esteem. Anything beyond basic human respect must be earned; it's not a right. It's a balance-- rights and responsibilities come together. I, and many of the people who make up my social circle, are at the stage of life where they are transitioning from childhood to adulthood. That means it's getting less and less understandable for grownup capabilities not to develop.
I don't know. Maybe my standards are unreasonable. Or maybe I'm just justifying what a grouch I am.
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