Thoughts have been very dark lately. Not healthy, trying to shake it off. I have entirely too much work to lose focus to that. Spent an hour last night on the bathroom floor with those dark thoughts. Not for the first time, it occurs to me that I am a prideful thing. Makes me do some pretty awful things, just for the sake of my self-conceit. And yet at the same time, when I find myself wanting to do the wrong thing, often my pride reminds me how ashamed I would be if I did the wrong thing, bringing me back to the right path after all. I am blackly amused by the fact that the very thing that's killing my soul is also keeping it alive.
No matter. Must write. Much write until my brain liquifies itself and seeps out my ears. Merely Players is due in one week. I want to have it done in time for people to read before auditions. It's no small challenge to keep it witty and smooth. It's coming fairly well, I guess, but I'm starting to get stalled, which I can't afford. It is my first priority until it's done, after which I can focus entirely on The Stand and Resonance.
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