Oh, my God, did I love Toy Story 3. I saw it with Matt and Bernie last night and it was wonderful. You need to all go out and see it immediately, because it is at least as good as the first two and maybe even better. (CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD.)
Toy Story has always really appealed to me because I was one of those kids who was sure that her toys came to life when she wasn't looking. My favorite kind of toy was stuffed animals, and I had a ton of them that I assigned all different personalities to and though I had favorites, I tried to give equal attention to all of them so none of them would feel jealous or unloved. I recall that was one of the greater preoccupations of my early life. ;-) Most of my once enormous collection I donated over the years, though there are still a handful on the top shelf of my bedroom closet at home. I imagine I get their hopes up every time I visit and go into that closet for clothes.
It is amazingly tightly written. The writers of those comic book movies who pack their films full of recognizable characters they have no time to deal with should take a leaf out of this movie's book, which brilliantly managed and balanced the screen time of its enormous cast. None of our favorite characters were allowed to fall to the wayside, and it managed to incorporate a ton of new ones as well. It's also quite an impressive caper movie, with operations carried out with incredible precision and attention to detail; whoever planned out the various escapes and gambits in the film is a strategic as well as cinematic genius.
Also, did anyone else find "Mr. Tortilla Head" to be unspeakably creepy? Jesus. And I totally didn't pick up on the fact that Sid was the garbage man. Thanks to lightgamer for pointing that out to me.
I have always loved Pixar's villain characters. Sid wasn't deep but he was fun, though the primary antagonist through most of that movie was Buzz and the conflict between him and Woody provided the most interesting struggle. I loved the Prospector in the second movie, how he infected Woody with his insidious cynicism and the way he used a deceptively logical and sympathetic argument to convince Woody that Andy didn't need him any more, and that he'd be better off in a museum under glass. And then Lotso in the third movie, with his affable facade masking his bitterness and trying to protect himself against any further rejection or loss. I love that the Prospector and Lotso acted the way they did because they were hurt-- the former because no child had ever loved him, and Lotso because he thought he'd been special to a child and was then replaced.
Lotso's story I found shockingly familiar. There was one I had one since I was a baby, a Swiftheart Rabbit Care Bear stuffed animal that was my favorite. Then I left him at my aunt's house and she gave him away to charity. Saddened, I found a new Swiftheart on eBay, a nicer one in much better condition than mine was, and loved him instead. But I remember feeling slightly guilty about it; I was old enough by that point that I was no longer worried that my stuffed animals got sad or jealous, but the thought did occur to me-- would it hurt my old Swiftheart's feelings that I replaced him with a newer model? I am not nearly as disturbed as I acted for humor's sake, but it was pretty surprising to see that as a plot element in the movie. I wonder if that happens often. And I must not wonder if my poor lost Swiftheart became an embittered prison warden ruling other toys with an iron fist.
I have very few criticisms. I dislike how frequently the character of Buzz is lost by "resetting him" to his Space Ranger defaults or whatever. Spanish mode was funny, but I wanted to see a little bit more of the dynamic between Woody and Buzz, one of my favorite elements of the series. They didn't have as much interplay as I would have hoped. But besides that and a few other tiny details, I was incredibly pleased and greatly enjoyed the film.
Go out and see this movie. It really does complete the natural arc of the story. And It says something about this movie that a person like me who hates attachment to physical things can sympathize with it all so deeply. :-)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sometimes, Hazel speaks for me. ;-)
I love Girls with Slingshots; it's funny, the storylines tend to be pretty good, and the characters grow and change in interesting, believable ways. I recently got Bernie into reading it as well, and I told him I liked it because in a weird way I relate to it. Bernie said to me, "Oh, I know why you relate to it. Hazel is you if you were an alcoholic charicature of yourself." That is so true. Hazel is grouchy, Hazel is judgmental, Hazel doesn't understand why the world can just do things the way she thinks it should. Not to mention a number of other side traits we have in common. ;-) I relate to her because she lets herself be the way I want to when I'm feeling especially like a big bitchy baby and the world has become utterly un-dealable. ;-)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Brain leaking out ears
God, my brain feels like a motor that's been running too hard and is smoking a little. I just ran the most intense session of Burn Notice due to its complicated, multi-faceted plot and large number of active characters. I was pleased with the scheme I devised ahead of time, but I was thrown many curves due to surprises from the players that I had to wrack my brain to react to on the fly, not to mention keep of track of everything that was going on. I think I did a good job with the stuff I came up with off the top of my head, but gosh, it was work. I had no idea running a campaign could be so much work.
It was a good session, though, and wrapped up a Gwen-centric episode that now gives her character an ongoing plot. I baked a loaf of cornbread that had to be put back in the oven for a few extra minutes due to a squashy center, but it tasted very nice; I served it with a nice pot of my special tea during the game. I think the next storyline will revolve around Riker. Since there are no more dangling plot threads, I'll have to make this one up out of whole cloth. That will take work, and if things go as planned, I'll need to have it ready by next Saturday.
For now, my brain is tired. I kind of wish I didn't have to go to rehearsal tonight due to mental exhaustion, but I have a duty. I am downing the last of my miso soup and trying to regather my faculties before I have to run.
It was a good session, though, and wrapped up a Gwen-centric episode that now gives her character an ongoing plot. I baked a loaf of cornbread that had to be put back in the oven for a few extra minutes due to a squashy center, but it tasted very nice; I served it with a nice pot of my special tea during the game. I think the next storyline will revolve around Riker. Since there are no more dangling plot threads, I'll have to make this one up out of whole cloth. That will take work, and if things go as planned, I'll need to have it ready by next Saturday.
For now, my brain is tired. I kind of wish I didn't have to go to rehearsal tonight due to mental exhaustion, but I have a duty. I am downing the last of my miso soup and trying to regather my faculties before I have to run.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Cooking experiment: miso soup
So on a whim today I decided to try to make myself some miso soup. I've never attempted any Asian cuisine before, but I happened to stumble upon an episode of Good Eats teaching how to make it. Normally I despise soy for being tasteless squashy muck, but this is one of the few tofu dishes I actively enjoy. I also thought it might be good for me to add a cheap and nutritious protein dish into my So, just for the hell of it, I thought I'd give it a try. I used Alton Brown's recipe, included here for your reference in case you know anything about this:
Ingredients
12-ounce block firm silken tofu
2 quarts dashi
6 tablespoons dark or red miso
2 tablespoons light or white miso
4 scallions, thinly sliced
Directions
Wrap the block of tofu in 2 layers of paper towels and lay on a plate. Invert a second plate on top of the tofu and weigh down with a 28-ounce can. Leave for 20 minutes then cut the tofu into 1/4 to 1/2-inch cubes.
Heat the dashi in a 4-quart saucepan over medium-high heat. When the dashi reaches 100 degrees F on an instant-read thermometer, ladle 1 cup into a small bowl. Add the miso, and whisk until smooth.
Bring the remaining dashi to a bare simmer, approximately 10 minutes. Add the miso mixture and whisk to combine. Return to a slight simmer, being careful not to boil the mixture. Add the tofu and scallions and cook for another minute or until heated through. Remove from the heat, ladle into soup bowls and serve immediately.
For these unusual ingredients, I went to the little Asian market off to one side of Waltham Commons. I ran into two small issues right away. First I was unable to identify anything that might have been white miso. I found red miso easily enough, and the white very well may have been there, but there were very few English words on any of the labels and I couldn't see anything that indicated another kind. Second, the recipe called for "dashi," a stock made from treated dried tuna and seaweed, and the store only had dried powdered dashi that had to be combined with water. The assembly of all the ingredients was easy enough, though with my big spoon I was starting to long for the spoon rest that Charlotte said she would make for me at camp. Don't forget, honey, I'm really looking forward to it! As for the soup, I was worried about keeping it at the right temperature, and when I tasted the miso on its own I didn't like it. I started to worry it would come out yucky.
Well, I finished it and tried it and the verdict is... huh. It's kind of bland. Certainly not yucky, but there's not much flavor here. Heh, given that it's primary made of bean curd mush, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. But the miso I'm used to is a lot richer. I wonder whether it's because the dashi powder didn't make the stock strong enough, or if it's the lack of white miso, though I think that's supposed to be milder in flavor than red. Since this is an experiment anyway, I tried throwing in some extra dashi powder to see if that helps. If it ruins it, what the hell, it was an experiment anyway. If anyone who makes miso soup regularly wants to give an opinion, I'd welcome the suggestion for improvement.
Ingredients
12-ounce block firm silken tofu
2 quarts dashi
6 tablespoons dark or red miso
2 tablespoons light or white miso
4 scallions, thinly sliced
Directions
Wrap the block of tofu in 2 layers of paper towels and lay on a plate. Invert a second plate on top of the tofu and weigh down with a 28-ounce can. Leave for 20 minutes then cut the tofu into 1/4 to 1/2-inch cubes.
Heat the dashi in a 4-quart saucepan over medium-high heat. When the dashi reaches 100 degrees F on an instant-read thermometer, ladle 1 cup into a small bowl. Add the miso, and whisk until smooth.
Bring the remaining dashi to a bare simmer, approximately 10 minutes. Add the miso mixture and whisk to combine. Return to a slight simmer, being careful not to boil the mixture. Add the tofu and scallions and cook for another minute or until heated through. Remove from the heat, ladle into soup bowls and serve immediately.
For these unusual ingredients, I went to the little Asian market off to one side of Waltham Commons. I ran into two small issues right away. First I was unable to identify anything that might have been white miso. I found red miso easily enough, and the white very well may have been there, but there were very few English words on any of the labels and I couldn't see anything that indicated another kind. Second, the recipe called for "dashi," a stock made from treated dried tuna and seaweed, and the store only had dried powdered dashi that had to be combined with water. The assembly of all the ingredients was easy enough, though with my big spoon I was starting to long for the spoon rest that Charlotte said she would make for me at camp. Don't forget, honey, I'm really looking forward to it! As for the soup, I was worried about keeping it at the right temperature, and when I tasted the miso on its own I didn't like it. I started to worry it would come out yucky.
Well, I finished it and tried it and the verdict is... huh. It's kind of bland. Certainly not yucky, but there's not much flavor here. Heh, given that it's primary made of bean curd mush, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. But the miso I'm used to is a lot richer. I wonder whether it's because the dashi powder didn't make the stock strong enough, or if it's the lack of white miso, though I think that's supposed to be milder in flavor than red. Since this is an experiment anyway, I tried throwing in some extra dashi powder to see if that helps. If it ruins it, what the hell, it was an experiment anyway. If anyone who makes miso soup regularly wants to give an opinion, I'd welcome the suggestion for improvement.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Slutty clothes + slutty clothes = not-slutty outfit!
Okay, I just did something really cool-- at least, I think so. I was digging through my closet, trying to get my seasonally-appropriate stuff into the places of easiest access. In the course of digging I pulled out my "dress hanger," the large sturdy fancy hanger on which I hang my very few nice dresses. It holds the sparkly blue dress that I am grateful to Steph and Charlotte for convincing me to buy, the flame-orange dress that Frances wore in To Think of Nothing, and my black cocktail dress.
Just for fun I put on the cocktail dress just to admire how good it looks on me. What I like about it is that the front is simple and fairly modest, with a square neckline and a hem that ends a handsbreadth above my knees, but it is backless to my tailbone, with just two thin strings stretching across that bare expanse. I have always found backless styles to be the epitome of sexiness, and that works for me, since I have, if you'll excuse my saying, a very sexy back. I started thinking to myself what a shame it was that I don't often get a chance to wear it.
Then something occurred to me. On a whim, I dug out my new red blouse with the very low neckline that I just got at the Garment District and pulled it on over the dress. My reflection pleased me to no end. Each piece is lovely, in my opinion, on its own. But how many occasions do I have to wear a cocktail dress or a plunging neckline? But together, the blouse and the dress made each other more appropriate for regular wear. The blouse covered the open back of the dress, and the dress filled in the empty neckline of the blouse. And low and behold, they look very cute together! I am so pleased with myself for discovering this. Who would have imagined that two slutty articles of clothing when worn together make for a non-slutty outfit! I may prefer the look of a little more skin, but when that's not possible, now I have an adorable dressy option that isn't quite so daring! Yay!
Just for fun I put on the cocktail dress just to admire how good it looks on me. What I like about it is that the front is simple and fairly modest, with a square neckline and a hem that ends a handsbreadth above my knees, but it is backless to my tailbone, with just two thin strings stretching across that bare expanse. I have always found backless styles to be the epitome of sexiness, and that works for me, since I have, if you'll excuse my saying, a very sexy back. I started thinking to myself what a shame it was that I don't often get a chance to wear it.
Then something occurred to me. On a whim, I dug out my new red blouse with the very low neckline that I just got at the Garment District and pulled it on over the dress. My reflection pleased me to no end. Each piece is lovely, in my opinion, on its own. But how many occasions do I have to wear a cocktail dress or a plunging neckline? But together, the blouse and the dress made each other more appropriate for regular wear. The blouse covered the open back of the dress, and the dress filled in the empty neckline of the blouse. And low and behold, they look very cute together! I am so pleased with myself for discovering this. Who would have imagined that two slutty articles of clothing when worn together make for a non-slutty outfit! I may prefer the look of a little more skin, but when that's not possible, now I have an adorable dressy option that isn't quite so daring! Yay!
Garment District, and heat exhaustion
Had a fun time combing through the stuff at the Garment District on Wednesday with contradictacat* and ninja_report*. I've had the Groupon from there for several months now, and I noticed it was about to expire next month, so I figured I should get some use out of it. My favorite thing I picked up was an adorable suit skirt with a neat cross-hatching pattern with patches of houndstooth and big black buttons. It's dressy enough to look professional but cute enough for regular wear. I also got a replacement pair of black thigh-highs, and a fun red top with flutter sleeves and a low enough neckline to give even me some cleavage. Heh, that's pretty damn low. The only problem was it so was hot in the store that trying stuff on got to be more and more of a pain. Still, I'm very grateful to contradictacat* for suggesting it, since I had a very fun time and am pleased with the pieces I found. And, because of the Groupon certificate, they were already paid for months ago! Yay!
Yesterday was a rough day physically. Normally I can take the heat pretty well, but yesterday it was just too much for me. I spent most of it headachey, naseous, and drifting in and out of naps that were not at all restful. To top it all off, my left arm started bothering me. I think I just hurt it during my workout, and I'm not sure whether to call the sensation soreness or numbness or what, but it's quite unpleasant, though better today than it was yesterday. I'll have to be careful with it. I think the worst part of it all is that for some reason only God knows, I rarely if ever feel thirsty and so often go ridiculously long before it occurs to me to drink something. I think I dehydrated myself pretty badly yesterday because of this. That's incredibly weird, I know, but that's how I am. I think I need to add making sure I drink a full bottle of water to my daily self-care routine, but history has shown that I'm not going to do it on my own.
Yesterday was a rough day physically. Normally I can take the heat pretty well, but yesterday it was just too much for me. I spent most of it headachey, naseous, and drifting in and out of naps that were not at all restful. To top it all off, my left arm started bothering me. I think I just hurt it during my workout, and I'm not sure whether to call the sensation soreness or numbness or what, but it's quite unpleasant, though better today than it was yesterday. I'll have to be careful with it. I think the worst part of it all is that for some reason only God knows, I rarely if ever feel thirsty and so often go ridiculously long before it occurs to me to drink something. I think I dehydrated myself pretty badly yesterday because of this. That's incredibly weird, I know, but that's how I am. I think I need to add making sure I drink a full bottle of water to my daily self-care routine, but history has shown that I'm not going to do it on my own.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Self-care progress report
One of my goals for the summer has been to work at taking better physical care of myself. It has been tough keeping up healthy habits when feeling so drained, so overwhelmed, and so depressed as I frequently have. So I have been taking advantage of having more free time to devote some of it to establishing healthier habits in the hopes of easing some of that bad feeling. Here's how that has been going so far.
Nutrition:
For a long time being busy and weary kept me buying easily accessible junk food. I am blaming the extra weight around my midsection to the frequent lunches I made out of a block of gruyere and a sleeve of Ritz crackers. I am working much harder to cook for myself on a regular basis, rather than just when I have dinner parties. In fact, my next week-long challenge to myself may be to prepare all meals at home. I have started making myself simple four-ingredient salads for lunches and sometimes dinners, which I am finding a lot more satisfying than I thought I would. I've also started trying to make a habit out of having breakfast by buying yogurts in bulk and keeping them in the fridge at work. Coke remains my lingering indulgence; it may be wiser to just cut it out.
Verdict: Much better, but not totally there yet.
Sleep:
Tough to say. Recently I've had a lot of problems sleeping through the night, leaving me not feeling rested in the mornings and crashing into bed stupid-early at night. I've experienced some small improvement not waking up during the night, perhaps because of the better eating and exercising. I'd like to be able to stay up a little later at night-- Jared and I have a deal that I'll try to stay up later and he'll try to go to bed earlier to mesh our schedules more --while still getting a full night's sleep. I think since I haven't been waking up so much I've been better able to get up and haven't felt so badly-rested, but it's still not perfect.
Verdict: somewhat better, and every little bit helps.
Skin:
Ah, in this department things have gotten better lots and gotten better fast. I switched to a nightly apricot facial scrub and an oil-free moisturizer, and my facial skin is doing better than it has in ages; I am looking so much clearer and more even-toned. I still have a lot of micro-zits on my forehead (tiny little acne bumps that are tough to see except up close) but as I said, I have also been taking care to moisturize the rest of my skin, and I was shocked at how quickly it got so soft. On my legs, it even makes it so I have to shave less often before the hair is visible. I also was trying to keep my nails in better condition, and I was mostly succeeding until the intensity of Labor Wars
Verdict: vast, immediate improvement.
Fitness:
This is the category that I have made the least progress in. My goal is to do either an abdominal or a cardio workout six days a week, and for a couple of weeks I was pretty good about it. Then this past week game, with all the gaming and the preparation for Labor Wars, and it went to hell. I don't feel like I've lost any weight yet, which disappoints me; I really want to sleek my tummy back out. I just got to buckle back down. It's a tough habit for me to get in because I don't enjoy it at all, except for the shape it gives me. But until I do this regularly for a reasonable period of time, I am not going to get rid of this little pooch on my gut.
Verdict: disappointing, must establish good habits for extended period of time.
So, small improvement, not enough to satisfy me yet. The only thing to do is keep with it, because that's the only way I'll get the results I want.
Nutrition:
For a long time being busy and weary kept me buying easily accessible junk food. I am blaming the extra weight around my midsection to the frequent lunches I made out of a block of gruyere and a sleeve of Ritz crackers. I am working much harder to cook for myself on a regular basis, rather than just when I have dinner parties. In fact, my next week-long challenge to myself may be to prepare all meals at home. I have started making myself simple four-ingredient salads for lunches and sometimes dinners, which I am finding a lot more satisfying than I thought I would. I've also started trying to make a habit out of having breakfast by buying yogurts in bulk and keeping them in the fridge at work. Coke remains my lingering indulgence; it may be wiser to just cut it out.
Verdict: Much better, but not totally there yet.
Sleep:
Tough to say. Recently I've had a lot of problems sleeping through the night, leaving me not feeling rested in the mornings and crashing into bed stupid-early at night. I've experienced some small improvement not waking up during the night, perhaps because of the better eating and exercising. I'd like to be able to stay up a little later at night-- Jared and I have a deal that I'll try to stay up later and he'll try to go to bed earlier to mesh our schedules more --while still getting a full night's sleep. I think since I haven't been waking up so much I've been better able to get up and haven't felt so badly-rested, but it's still not perfect.
Verdict: somewhat better, and every little bit helps.
Skin:
Ah, in this department things have gotten better lots and gotten better fast. I switched to a nightly apricot facial scrub and an oil-free moisturizer, and my facial skin is doing better than it has in ages; I am looking so much clearer and more even-toned. I still have a lot of micro-zits on my forehead (tiny little acne bumps that are tough to see except up close) but as I said, I have also been taking care to moisturize the rest of my skin, and I was shocked at how quickly it got so soft. On my legs, it even makes it so I have to shave less often before the hair is visible. I also was trying to keep my nails in better condition, and I was mostly succeeding until the intensity of Labor Wars
Verdict: vast, immediate improvement.
Fitness:
This is the category that I have made the least progress in. My goal is to do either an abdominal or a cardio workout six days a week, and for a couple of weeks I was pretty good about it. Then this past week game, with all the gaming and the preparation for Labor Wars, and it went to hell. I don't feel like I've lost any weight yet, which disappoints me; I really want to sleek my tummy back out. I just got to buckle back down. It's a tough habit for me to get in because I don't enjoy it at all, except for the shape it gives me. But until I do this regularly for a reasonable period of time, I am not going to get rid of this little pooch on my gut.
Verdict: disappointing, must establish good habits for extended period of time.
So, small improvement, not enough to satisfy me yet. The only thing to do is keep with it, because that's the only way I'll get the results I want.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Larp brain dump
There is something on my mind right now that I do not feel comfortable talking about, but am feeling very anxious to deal with with the person in question. But I'm not sure what the most appropriate way to do it is. Phone, IM, in person? I don't know yet. At the very least, I must set up an appointment of some kind to do so, and soon. So you get random thoughts from a slightly distracted brain.
I'm so honored to have been asked by Nat, Susan, and Vito to help write the first Alleged Entertainment weekend-long game. I am now officially a member of Alleged Entertainment. I feel good about that.
I now have four games to my credit. Alice and Oz, both four-hours, I wrote by myself, under my own banner, Breaking Light. Paranoia: Research and Dismemberment, another four-hour, was written with Bernie Gabin, Joe Gabin, Matt Kamm, and Mac Magruder, under the banner of Will Not Be Denied, a reference I commend you if you get. And now one weekend-long with Alleged. I am proud of this.
I am surprised to find that in Labor Wars I was actually hoping that some of the replacement characters would be needed. I never felt that way before.
We had some fantastic players in this run. I am amused at how frequently in larps bronzite* is either the one holding back the oncoming tide of darkness, or the one bringing it. I thought londo* was going to be screwed, but he ended up more successful than almost anyone. One person I met this weekend, Shoshana, was a last-minute drop replacement who turned out to be fantastic in the part. I was so pleased with so many.
There are pictures of varying quality now up on Facebook. We should be having another run this coming fall, for those of you interested in playing.
Now I want to write another game. :-)
I'm so honored to have been asked by Nat, Susan, and Vito to help write the first Alleged Entertainment weekend-long game. I am now officially a member of Alleged Entertainment. I feel good about that.
I now have four games to my credit. Alice and Oz, both four-hours, I wrote by myself, under my own banner, Breaking Light. Paranoia: Research and Dismemberment, another four-hour, was written with Bernie Gabin, Joe Gabin, Matt Kamm, and Mac Magruder, under the banner of Will Not Be Denied, a reference I commend you if you get. And now one weekend-long with Alleged. I am proud of this.
I am surprised to find that in Labor Wars I was actually hoping that some of the replacement characters would be needed. I never felt that way before.
We had some fantastic players in this run. I am amused at how frequently in larps bronzite* is either the one holding back the oncoming tide of darkness, or the one bringing it. I thought londo* was going to be screwed, but he ended up more successful than almost anyone. One person I met this weekend, Shoshana, was a last-minute drop replacement who turned out to be fantastic in the part. I was so pleased with so many.
There are pictures of varying quality now up on Facebook. We should be having another run this coming fall, for those of you interested in playing.
Now I want to write another game. :-)
How I do and do not do right by the environment
A little while back, usernamenumber* posted a fantastic entry musing about what we can do in this day and age to live a litlte more environmentally responsibly by taking into account small things that make a big difference. I really admired how thoroughly he thought the idea through and he gave me lots of things to think about regarding my own level of environmentally-conscious effort.
Ways I Do Well:
- I'm very conscientious about recycling. All my discarded paper or cardboard, any piece of garbage plastic, every shard of scrap metal or glass. I have been known to hold onto my soda bottle or cardboard snack box for hours after I'm finished with it until I see a place to recycle it.
- I stopped buying bottled water years ago. When I need to have water with me, I use my Brandeis-issue metal water bottle.
- I reuse paper compulsively. Whenever I print something out and it has extra space remaining on it, I put it in a box I have under my printer, either for scribbling on or printing on the other side. I have a folder full of directions I printed out in case I ever need the hard copy again so I don't need to make another. At work, when asked to make a copy to keep a record of something, I scan it and save it as a PDF in an organized folder rather than copy it to paper.
- I am working to minimize my use of disposable things. Since I live in a house without a dishwasher it can be very tempting, but generally I use real dishware that I wash rather than plastic that I throw away. And on the occasion that I do use plastic, I make certain to recycle all the pieces. Also, it's a small thing, but in the last month I had made sure to keep at work a ceramic mug, a metal tea ball, a metal spoon, and a canister of loose-leaf tea. Everything is washable and since I quit using the disposable cups and plastic stirrers, the only thing that gets thrown away is the packet the sugar comes in. Perhaps I should start bringing my own sugar (or even better, honey) in a plastic container. Honey is tougher to transport without another eventually disposable container, but at least that container is recyclable.
- I keep four reusable shopping bags in my car so I don't have to remember to bring them along and have been making a real effort to use them every time I go to the market. I am also training myself into the habit of saying "No bag, please," when I buy things I can carry in my hands.
- I make an effort to walk places rather than drive whenever possible. I like getting the exercise, but honestly if I'm short on time I am more inclined to save the travel minutes and just go by car.
Ways I Don't Do Well and Will Try to Work On:
- Other than paper, I am not so good about reusing. Reuse, I know, is superior on the hierarchy to recycling, but I dislike keeping anything that looks like trash around, so I am unlikely to ever be able to do things like turn plastic vessels into planters or anything like that.
- I often forget to use those reuseable shopping bags, even when I bring them with me in my car. :-P There are about ten trillion plastic bags stashed away in my house. I reuse them as trash bags for wastebaskets, but there come in faster than they go out. Also, there are often items in the grocery store like produce that are hard to bring home unless you put them in a little plastic bag. I am considering getting myself some resuable produce bags, but many of the ones I've seen seem ridiculously expensive, so I think I will hold off until I see a reasonably priced option.
- I don't know if I'm terribly responsible with electricity. I dislike waiting for my computer to boot, so I usually leave it running with the screen off when I'm not using it. Still, I try to turn off lights and other eletronics when they're not needed, I never use an air conditioner, and I only turn on a fan or a heater in really extreme situations. This is necessary for my pocketbook as well as for the earth.
- I eat a lot of meat. I don't have any ethical issues with this, but I know that the meat growing industry is tough on the environment. I would probably do better to cut down to eating meat only a few times a week, but I crave protein in the worst way, and non-flesh sources of it never really seem to satisfy it. So while I could stand to reduce my meat consumption somewhat, I doubt I will feel all right if I do it too drastically.
- I feel like even though I do recycle very carefully, I generate a lot of material to recycle. I love bottled drinks like Coke and Snapple. I line pans and cover things with aluminum foil. In general I prefer using ziploc bags to awkward, space-claiming Tupperware. My penchant for clean, contained, managable things in my life leads me to use stuff that I can get rid of when I am finished with it. I should look into reducing just how much garbage my habits produce.
So that is where I stand. I am planning on making a conscious effort to improve a lot of these things. Every litlte bit helps, right?
Ways I Do Well:
- I'm very conscientious about recycling. All my discarded paper or cardboard, any piece of garbage plastic, every shard of scrap metal or glass. I have been known to hold onto my soda bottle or cardboard snack box for hours after I'm finished with it until I see a place to recycle it.
- I stopped buying bottled water years ago. When I need to have water with me, I use my Brandeis-issue metal water bottle.
- I reuse paper compulsively. Whenever I print something out and it has extra space remaining on it, I put it in a box I have under my printer, either for scribbling on or printing on the other side. I have a folder full of directions I printed out in case I ever need the hard copy again so I don't need to make another. At work, when asked to make a copy to keep a record of something, I scan it and save it as a PDF in an organized folder rather than copy it to paper.
- I am working to minimize my use of disposable things. Since I live in a house without a dishwasher it can be very tempting, but generally I use real dishware that I wash rather than plastic that I throw away. And on the occasion that I do use plastic, I make certain to recycle all the pieces. Also, it's a small thing, but in the last month I had made sure to keep at work a ceramic mug, a metal tea ball, a metal spoon, and a canister of loose-leaf tea. Everything is washable and since I quit using the disposable cups and plastic stirrers, the only thing that gets thrown away is the packet the sugar comes in. Perhaps I should start bringing my own sugar (or even better, honey) in a plastic container. Honey is tougher to transport without another eventually disposable container, but at least that container is recyclable.
- I keep four reusable shopping bags in my car so I don't have to remember to bring them along and have been making a real effort to use them every time I go to the market. I am also training myself into the habit of saying "No bag, please," when I buy things I can carry in my hands.
- I make an effort to walk places rather than drive whenever possible. I like getting the exercise, but honestly if I'm short on time I am more inclined to save the travel minutes and just go by car.
Ways I Don't Do Well and Will Try to Work On:
- Other than paper, I am not so good about reusing. Reuse, I know, is superior on the hierarchy to recycling, but I dislike keeping anything that looks like trash around, so I am unlikely to ever be able to do things like turn plastic vessels into planters or anything like that.
- I often forget to use those reuseable shopping bags, even when I bring them with me in my car. :-P There are about ten trillion plastic bags stashed away in my house. I reuse them as trash bags for wastebaskets, but there come in faster than they go out. Also, there are often items in the grocery store like produce that are hard to bring home unless you put them in a little plastic bag. I am considering getting myself some resuable produce bags, but many of the ones I've seen seem ridiculously expensive, so I think I will hold off until I see a reasonably priced option.
- I don't know if I'm terribly responsible with electricity. I dislike waiting for my computer to boot, so I usually leave it running with the screen off when I'm not using it. Still, I try to turn off lights and other eletronics when they're not needed, I never use an air conditioner, and I only turn on a fan or a heater in really extreme situations. This is necessary for my pocketbook as well as for the earth.
- I eat a lot of meat. I don't have any ethical issues with this, but I know that the meat growing industry is tough on the environment. I would probably do better to cut down to eating meat only a few times a week, but I crave protein in the worst way, and non-flesh sources of it never really seem to satisfy it. So while I could stand to reduce my meat consumption somewhat, I doubt I will feel all right if I do it too drastically.
- I feel like even though I do recycle very carefully, I generate a lot of material to recycle. I love bottled drinks like Coke and Snapple. I line pans and cover things with aluminum foil. In general I prefer using ziploc bags to awkward, space-claiming Tupperware. My penchant for clean, contained, managable things in my life leads me to use stuff that I can get rid of when I am finished with it. I should look into reducing just how much garbage my habits produce.
So that is where I stand. I am planning on making a conscious effort to improve a lot of these things. Every litlte bit helps, right?
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The Labor Wars, accomplished
At long last, The Labor Wars has come into being as a game. The journey from Nat asking me in Chad’s kitchen if I wanted to help write a game has culminated in a satisfactory run this past weekend.
Overall, I feel the game went well. Players enjoyed it on the whole, and the concepts we put into place worked fairly well. If there was a major issue, it was that conflict was dealt with too easily. We wanted a major source of it to be with people with different interests, alliances, and prejudices wrangling over a limited pool of economic resources/. I believe we established proof of concept by the fact that the mechanic for determining the workings of it was very functional, but we are going to have to make some adjustments to the amount of accessible resources. It was too easy for everyone to secure exactly what they wanted, without having to fight for it with other factions or make compromises in order to gain anything. Also, I was surprised at how much players were willing to work together to come up with arrangements that were agreeable to everyone. I walked around muttering, “Fuckin’ Brandeisians,” given our circle’s tendency toward such kind and gentle play style, but then I noticed there wasn’t any actual Brandeisian in the game! Still, they were mostly part of the extended Brandeis larp circle, and they very much had that kind of larp culture. Indeed, zrealm* coined the term “to Brandeis” a game, meaning to neutralize all the conflict through a tendency to compromise and work together.
We compensated for the lower than expected amount of conflict by throwing lots of events in the world that the players could affect and be affected by. I was actually extremely proud of our GM team for handling this; we came up with a lot of really good material, totally on the fly, that not only amped up the in-game struggle, it gelled with the direction that the players were taking the story, AND it felt like there was a living complete outside world that was active and reactive, and not just a series of crises that the GMs were throwing to trip up the players. They actually really surprised us with the direction they took things, necessitating us to make up so much on the fly, but we rolled with it and generated a series of events that remained true to the spirit while still meeting the players halfway.
We’ll need to make some edits, that’s for sure. Resources definitely need to be scarer. Anything to ramp up the conflict. One character may need to be completely overhauled. But we wrote a brand-new weekend long game, one of the first in this area in ten years, and it didn’t run half badly. I’m incredibly grateful to Nat, Susan, and Vito for inviting me to be part of this really cool project that they came up with.
We’ll have to get it in shape for a second run!
Overall, I feel the game went well. Players enjoyed it on the whole, and the concepts we put into place worked fairly well. If there was a major issue, it was that conflict was dealt with too easily. We wanted a major source of it to be with people with different interests, alliances, and prejudices wrangling over a limited pool of economic resources/. I believe we established proof of concept by the fact that the mechanic for determining the workings of it was very functional, but we are going to have to make some adjustments to the amount of accessible resources. It was too easy for everyone to secure exactly what they wanted, without having to fight for it with other factions or make compromises in order to gain anything. Also, I was surprised at how much players were willing to work together to come up with arrangements that were agreeable to everyone. I walked around muttering, “Fuckin’ Brandeisians,” given our circle’s tendency toward such kind and gentle play style, but then I noticed there wasn’t any actual Brandeisian in the game! Still, they were mostly part of the extended Brandeis larp circle, and they very much had that kind of larp culture. Indeed, zrealm* coined the term “to Brandeis” a game, meaning to neutralize all the conflict through a tendency to compromise and work together.
We compensated for the lower than expected amount of conflict by throwing lots of events in the world that the players could affect and be affected by. I was actually extremely proud of our GM team for handling this; we came up with a lot of really good material, totally on the fly, that not only amped up the in-game struggle, it gelled with the direction that the players were taking the story, AND it felt like there was a living complete outside world that was active and reactive, and not just a series of crises that the GMs were throwing to trip up the players. They actually really surprised us with the direction they took things, necessitating us to make up so much on the fly, but we rolled with it and generated a series of events that remained true to the spirit while still meeting the players halfway.
We’ll need to make some edits, that’s for sure. Resources definitely need to be scarer. Anything to ramp up the conflict. One character may need to be completely overhauled. But we wrote a brand-new weekend long game, one of the first in this area in ten years, and it didn’t run half badly. I’m incredibly grateful to Nat, Susan, and Vito for inviting me to be part of this really cool project that they came up with.
We’ll have to get it in shape for a second run!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Labor Wars tonight!
Labor Wars starts tonight, Labor Wars starts tonight! Our brand-new weekend-long game debuts tonight! Yaaaaay!
I helped emp42ress* with the advance cooking for the game yesterday afternoon. We picked up an enormous load of groceries including the makings of a number of delicious dishes and snacks that will be provided for the lucky players. As I told Susan, it was nice to be the helper in the kitchen for once rather than the person running it. She could be the one with the plan, who had to go to the effort of having all the necessary steps plotted out and ready in her head, and I could just be the eager kitchen monkey who does useful things when asked. :-) It was a relaxing change. Also, I really admire her ability to plan an elaborate dinner for a huge group of people, both culinarily and logistically. Usually the reason I insist on doing that job myself is because I know so few other people who can really manage it properly, and Susan is definitely great at it. It's going to be an impressive spread, and you have her to thank for it.
Stuffing later that evening was probably the easiest I've ever been to for a game. The game doesn't have lots of little bits and pieces, just paper packets beautifully designed by natbudin*, and so even with a few printing snags here and there, it was a remarkably simple game to put together. I was expecting the many-hour process that is typical of previous games I've run, but this was pleasantly quick.
All that remains is for me to assemble the pieces of my costume. We are in fact going to be semi-in character as house servants during the run, and I had to scramble to figure out what a maidservant would wear in roughly the post-Civil War South. I bought a floor-length black skirt, easily the longest skirt I've ever owned, and plan to wear that with an admittedly slightly-too-current-looking white button up blouse. It has an Asian collar and short sleeves, but it will serve. Over that I want to wear my blue-toile apron. I also have this swath of white lace that I always wanted to find an excuse to use as a shawl. It's a bit too grandma-y for normal wear and so kind of fits the style of the time, though it might be too fancy for a maid. Ah, well, we'll see. It's not going to be the best costume I ever put together, but I'm a GM and playing a house servant to boot-- I'm supposed to fade into the background!
*bounces* Just a few more hours until game!
I helped emp42ress* with the advance cooking for the game yesterday afternoon. We picked up an enormous load of groceries including the makings of a number of delicious dishes and snacks that will be provided for the lucky players. As I told Susan, it was nice to be the helper in the kitchen for once rather than the person running it. She could be the one with the plan, who had to go to the effort of having all the necessary steps plotted out and ready in her head, and I could just be the eager kitchen monkey who does useful things when asked. :-) It was a relaxing change. Also, I really admire her ability to plan an elaborate dinner for a huge group of people, both culinarily and logistically. Usually the reason I insist on doing that job myself is because I know so few other people who can really manage it properly, and Susan is definitely great at it. It's going to be an impressive spread, and you have her to thank for it.
Stuffing later that evening was probably the easiest I've ever been to for a game. The game doesn't have lots of little bits and pieces, just paper packets beautifully designed by natbudin*, and so even with a few printing snags here and there, it was a remarkably simple game to put together. I was expecting the many-hour process that is typical of previous games I've run, but this was pleasantly quick.
All that remains is for me to assemble the pieces of my costume. We are in fact going to be semi-in character as house servants during the run, and I had to scramble to figure out what a maidservant would wear in roughly the post-Civil War South. I bought a floor-length black skirt, easily the longest skirt I've ever owned, and plan to wear that with an admittedly slightly-too-current-looking white button up blouse. It has an Asian collar and short sleeves, but it will serve. Over that I want to wear my blue-toile apron. I also have this swath of white lace that I always wanted to find an excuse to use as a shawl. It's a bit too grandma-y for normal wear and so kind of fits the style of the time, though it might be too fancy for a maid. Ah, well, we'll see. It's not going to be the best costume I ever put together, but I'm a GM and playing a house servant to boot-- I'm supposed to fade into the background!
*bounces* Just a few more hours until game!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Slightly delayed gaming report
The tabletop games of this past weekend all went well to varying degrees. I enjoyed the prewritten World War I Call of Cthulhu mod, but the pre-generated characters were a bit too bland. I like pre-gens as a concept-- in fact, I may actively prefer them, since I think the GM tends to be able to integrate them better into the world --but these didn't have much to sink your teeth into. Also, it ran very late, and the more tired I get, the less and less I can stay in character and roleplay.
I was very pleased with my Burn Notice game. We resumed quite smoothly, given that the last time we played was back in January. I am glad to report that we finished the episode, which included a "boss battle" of sorts that I ran a lot better than I was afraid I would. Combats are still tough for me. Also, fellow tabletop GMs out there, do you ever find the PCs latching on to an NPC that you didn't particularly expect them to develop any attachment to? The most recent adventure involved an underground boxing ring, and there was a cut man named Archie Judd who was designed to be able to be turned over to their cause. They ended up really liking him and asking if he'll ever appear again. That surprised me; I didn't expect them to find him as cool as they did. So it might be worth it to find some way to have him recur if they enjoy him that much.
We also arranged for the next session, which is a good idea as I'd like to play on a semi-regular basis. Not this Sunday but next Sunday we'll get together for it again. Two separate storylines have been going simultaneously, and now that the boxing one is concluded we can work toward finishing the one regarding Gwen being framed for acts of terrorism. Marissa will be rejoining the group in the role of Riker; it'll be good to have her back. I don't think Riker had much involvement in the current caper thus far, so she should be able to come in fresh on it. I think I like the idea of a once-every-two-weeks schedule. It gives me time to plan the adventures to my liking, something I don't think I could do if I only have one week in between sessions.
Then I played in the rules test for Bernie and Joe's proposed Eternal Darkness-style larp project. It was a tight, short mod with a great player goup that I liked very much, set in Egypt during the period of the big tomb excavations. Joe is a good DM; he makes good plots and handles players very skillfully. I got a slightly problematic character in that she had a really cool, fun personality but given her circumstances as a young woman in the late 1800's did not have a great entre into the adventure and was somewhat prevented from being as active as I would have liked. A fixable issue with careful design, however, and I liked her enough to use her as a role. As for the rules, by and large I thought they worked well, though they were clearly devised by people much more used to tabletopping than larping. Still, i think they could be cleaned up to high larp functionality.
Tonight is cooking preparation and packet stuffing for The Labor Wars. We are nearing the moment of truth where we actually have the run. I feel so proud of us for doing this. I can't get the thought out of my head that I participated in the writing of a new weekend-long game. As far as I know, there hasn't been a new weekend-long game written in the last ten years. And weekend-longs people regard differently; they're kind of a big deal. So I can't tell you how much I want to get the heck out of work today and get down to the prep. God, I am so excited for this game.
I was very pleased with my Burn Notice game. We resumed quite smoothly, given that the last time we played was back in January. I am glad to report that we finished the episode, which included a "boss battle" of sorts that I ran a lot better than I was afraid I would. Combats are still tough for me. Also, fellow tabletop GMs out there, do you ever find the PCs latching on to an NPC that you didn't particularly expect them to develop any attachment to? The most recent adventure involved an underground boxing ring, and there was a cut man named Archie Judd who was designed to be able to be turned over to their cause. They ended up really liking him and asking if he'll ever appear again. That surprised me; I didn't expect them to find him as cool as they did. So it might be worth it to find some way to have him recur if they enjoy him that much.
We also arranged for the next session, which is a good idea as I'd like to play on a semi-regular basis. Not this Sunday but next Sunday we'll get together for it again. Two separate storylines have been going simultaneously, and now that the boxing one is concluded we can work toward finishing the one regarding Gwen being framed for acts of terrorism. Marissa will be rejoining the group in the role of Riker; it'll be good to have her back. I don't think Riker had much involvement in the current caper thus far, so she should be able to come in fresh on it. I think I like the idea of a once-every-two-weeks schedule. It gives me time to plan the adventures to my liking, something I don't think I could do if I only have one week in between sessions.
Then I played in the rules test for Bernie and Joe's proposed Eternal Darkness-style larp project. It was a tight, short mod with a great player goup that I liked very much, set in Egypt during the period of the big tomb excavations. Joe is a good DM; he makes good plots and handles players very skillfully. I got a slightly problematic character in that she had a really cool, fun personality but given her circumstances as a young woman in the late 1800's did not have a great entre into the adventure and was somewhat prevented from being as active as I would have liked. A fixable issue with careful design, however, and I liked her enough to use her as a role. As for the rules, by and large I thought they worked well, though they were clearly devised by people much more used to tabletopping than larping. Still, i think they could be cleaned up to high larp functionality.
Tonight is cooking preparation and packet stuffing for The Labor Wars. We are nearing the moment of truth where we actually have the run. I feel so proud of us for doing this. I can't get the thought out of my head that I participated in the writing of a new weekend-long game. As far as I know, there hasn't been a new weekend-long game written in the last ten years. And weekend-longs people regard differently; they're kind of a big deal. So I can't tell you how much I want to get the heck out of work today and get down to the prep. God, I am so excited for this game.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
In answer to all those slutty brides out there!
I am amused by the ads for "modest wedding dresses" on Facebook. Is the average wedding dress, a floor-length gown for a formal, often religious family occasion, all that immodest? I mean, I want mine to be midriff-baring, but given the designs I typically see I'm rather in the minority there.
But no matter! You don't HAVE be one of those slutty brides out there in their whorish off-the-shoulder sin-slips. You can keep your base female form from inspiring any wickedness until the end of the ceremony where you'll safely enter into the legal dominion of a man who can lock you away from the lascivious eyes of slavering, impulse-driven beasts.
Heehee. ;-)
Also, why do all the social sites show me so many ads for wedding stuff? Why does the Internet seem to think I'm getting married?
But no matter! You don't HAVE be one of those slutty brides out there in their whorish off-the-shoulder sin-slips. You can keep your base female form from inspiring any wickedness until the end of the ceremony where you'll safely enter into the legal dominion of a man who can lock you away from the lascivious eyes of slavering, impulse-driven beasts.
Heehee. ;-)
Also, why do all the social sites show me so many ads for wedding stuff? Why does the Internet seem to think I'm getting married?
Post-Summer Black-Out Challenge
So now my silly little self-indulgent fashion experimentation has reached its end. I actually really enjoyed doing it, and I like how it forced me to be more aware of my typical patterns of putting together outfits. It made me be more creative with my colors and try combinations of clothes that I might not have normally. It also brought to my attention how nervous I am to combine different colors, which is something I should experiment with to get better at, and not always rely on neutrals (black, brown, white, khakhi, denim, etc) the way I typically do. I will be glad to not be taking pictures of myself every day, though. My iPhone is not totally up to the task, and it usually takes me eight million shots before I get one I don't hate. (As a side note, I really need to figure out the auto-shoot function on my real camera.)
Funnily enough, what I felt like wearing today doesn't actually contain any black. But I look forward to being able to wear the color of my dark tormented soul again. ;-) I think I've earned the banner:
So continues my personal odyssey on the road to learning how to dress. And just because I'm thinking about it, just to call out someone I think has nailed this sort of thing, I've always thought v_cat* to be a really stylish person. She is someone with a really distinctive personal style that always makes her look good. I don't know if it's something she works at or something that comes naturally, but I would like to reach the point where I'm regularly noticed for nailing my own great look the way I always notice hers.
Funnily enough, what I felt like wearing today doesn't actually contain any black. But I look forward to being able to wear the color of my dark tormented soul again. ;-) I think I've earned the banner:
So continues my personal odyssey on the road to learning how to dress. And just because I'm thinking about it, just to call out someone I think has nailed this sort of thing, I've always thought v_cat* to be a really stylish person. She is someone with a really distinctive personal style that always makes her look good. I don't know if it's something she works at or something that comes naturally, but I would like to reach the point where I'm regularly noticed for nailing my own great look the way I always notice hers.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Summer Black-Out Challenge, Day 8
Today is the last day of the Summer Black-Out Challenge. Though it was sort of a week, the challenge is technically from June 7th to June 14th, so I'm going in for the eighth day. Today's color is SILVER to round things out, though I had a hell of a time arriving at that conclusion.
You see, I think my mother has finally won.
So when I was in high school, my style of dressing was purposely all over the place; I was really into people not being able to categorize me in those days, and wearing all different kinds of clothes helped confuse them. ;-) One odd phase I went through was I wore a hell of a lot of gray. To this day, one of my favorite colors is charcoal. It drove my mother crazy, and she went through a long period of trying to dissuade me from getting anything else in gray because I always wore it.
So when trying to figure out what to wear for today, the last day of my Summer Black-Out Challenge, I looked over the colors I've already worn and the only ones I really missed were yellow, white, and gray. Now I really like yellow, but while I lucky enough to look good in most bright colors yellow is the one I sadly can't really pull off. And I both love white and look good in it-- in fact another one of my weird high school quirks was all-white ensembles I referred to as my "Tennessee Williams suits" --but I no longer have the white slacks to make it work. So I thought I'd go to my old favorite gray.
But digging through my drawers and closet I discovered I don't really have any gray anymore. Besides sweaters that were too heavy to wear, I found all of one gray top in all my wardrobe. It seems that as time has gone by and pieces have worn out the gray has gradually been weeded out of my wardrobe. I think my mother has finally won! Took her years and years, but she finally eliminated the gray.
So what I ended up doing is collecting a handful of silver things I had and throwing them together. I think this is my least favorite ensemble of the week, but hey, I tried something different.
Silver pashmina
White sleeveless ruched blouse
Silver bird brooch
Anniversary necklace
Gold and silver hoop earrings
Mossimo jeans
Silver pumps
The wrap is fun and interesting and kind of feels good to wear, but it looks a bit poncho-y for my tastes. The bird brooch holds it in place.
.jpg)
Yeah, probably not a style I'll be wearing too much in the future. I prefer the look of a wrap just over my arms. Maybe I'll switch it.
.jpg)
Do we like that better? I think I do. It makes the scarf less of the focal point of the outfit, which diminishes the power of SILVER as today's color, but it I think it looks better that way.
You see, I think my mother has finally won.
So when I was in high school, my style of dressing was purposely all over the place; I was really into people not being able to categorize me in those days, and wearing all different kinds of clothes helped confuse them. ;-) One odd phase I went through was I wore a hell of a lot of gray. To this day, one of my favorite colors is charcoal. It drove my mother crazy, and she went through a long period of trying to dissuade me from getting anything else in gray because I always wore it.
So when trying to figure out what to wear for today, the last day of my Summer Black-Out Challenge, I looked over the colors I've already worn and the only ones I really missed were yellow, white, and gray. Now I really like yellow, but while I lucky enough to look good in most bright colors yellow is the one I sadly can't really pull off. And I both love white and look good in it-- in fact another one of my weird high school quirks was all-white ensembles I referred to as my "Tennessee Williams suits" --but I no longer have the white slacks to make it work. So I thought I'd go to my old favorite gray.
But digging through my drawers and closet I discovered I don't really have any gray anymore. Besides sweaters that were too heavy to wear, I found all of one gray top in all my wardrobe. It seems that as time has gone by and pieces have worn out the gray has gradually been weeded out of my wardrobe. I think my mother has finally won! Took her years and years, but she finally eliminated the gray.
So what I ended up doing is collecting a handful of silver things I had and throwing them together. I think this is my least favorite ensemble of the week, but hey, I tried something different.
Silver pashmina
White sleeveless ruched blouse
Silver bird brooch
Anniversary necklace
Gold and silver hoop earrings
Mossimo jeans
Silver pumps
The wrap is fun and interesting and kind of feels good to wear, but it looks a bit poncho-y for my tastes. The bird brooch holds it in place.
.jpg)
Yeah, probably not a style I'll be wearing too much in the future. I prefer the look of a wrap just over my arms. Maybe I'll switch it.
.jpg)
Do we like that better? I think I do. It makes the scarf less of the focal point of the outfit, which diminishes the power of SILVER as today's color, but it I think it looks better that way.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Summer Black-Out Challenge, Day 7
Dressed way down today, as the only things on the agenda were running my tabletop game and going to rehearsal. So I decided to wear just a camisole, so the color of the day could be a great bright ORANGE.
Orange camisole
Green cotton pants
Anniversary necklace
Silver infinity earrings
Brown suede Pumas
These pants are my venturing into alternatives to jeans. I'm only just learning how to use dull shades of green as a neutral; I find i like it best with orange, purple, and pink. The camisole is a wee bit tight on me; it would probably be a bit more flattering if it were just a little bit looser, but I like the cheery bright color of it.
.jpg)
I've always liked how these earrings match my anniversary necklace, which was one of the reasons Jared chose it. Wasn't he clever?
Orange camisole
Green cotton pants
Anniversary necklace
Silver infinity earrings
Brown suede Pumas
These pants are my venturing into alternatives to jeans. I'm only just learning how to use dull shades of green as a neutral; I find i like it best with orange, purple, and pink. The camisole is a wee bit tight on me; it would probably be a bit more flattering if it were just a little bit looser, but I like the cheery bright color of it.
.jpg)
I've always liked how these earrings match my anniversary necklace, which was one of the reasons Jared chose it. Wasn't he clever?
Summer Black-Out Challenge, Day 6
Went to a great birthday party last night, and wanted to look nice for all the friends. Pardon the EVEN worse photo quality; the light is my bedroom is pretty bad for this. Today's vribrant summery color is GREEN.
Green fluffy sweater
Sweet Dreams jeans
Amber beads
Dangling gold earrings
Brown suede Pumas
I don't usually call out brand names, because there is nothing less stylish than being a label whore, but this sweater is BCBGMaxAzria, making it one of the few pieces of actual couture I own-- which surprises me because I have no idea where I would have had to have shopped to have acquired that particular designer's stuff. I know I didn't thrift it, that's for sure. But well-fitting and quality is way better looking and more tasteful than big stupid labels showing. I am endeavoring to never show a label again.
I love my amber jewelry; I wore lots ofi this week. It's one of my favorite stones, and the rich yellow-gold color complements and adds pop to lots of different shades.
.jpg)
Rawr. It's so dark you can hardly see the proper colors. Ah, well, you get the idea. Bright green + yellow-gold = pretty for Phoebe.
Green fluffy sweater
Sweet Dreams jeans
Amber beads
Dangling gold earrings
Brown suede Pumas
I don't usually call out brand names, because there is nothing less stylish than being a label whore, but this sweater is BCBGMaxAzria, making it one of the few pieces of actual couture I own-- which surprises me because I have no idea where I would have had to have shopped to have acquired that particular designer's stuff. I know I didn't thrift it, that's for sure. But well-fitting and quality is way better looking and more tasteful than big stupid labels showing. I am endeavoring to never show a label again.
I love my amber jewelry; I wore lots ofi this week. It's one of my favorite stones, and the rich yellow-gold color complements and adds pop to lots of different shades.
.jpg)
Rawr. It's so dark you can hardly see the proper colors. Ah, well, you get the idea. Bright green + yellow-gold = pretty for Phoebe.
Friday, June 11, 2010
New Goo Goo Dolls stuff?
Because I can't be bothered to follow any news sources on these things and don't listen to much radio, I had no idea the Goo Goo Dolls, despite being my favorite band, have had a single I've never heard out since last year, and have just released a new single for an album they're planning to put out at the end of August. Huh. I guess the upshot of not staying on top of these things is once in a while I get a nice surprise.
"Real" evidently was made specially for the 2008 Olympics and has never been collected on any album. I like it a lot, and probably will listen to it on loop for a whileas is my wont when I find a new song I like, but I find it a bit... generic for them. Like, exactly to my taste, but it sounds very typically Goo Goo Dolls, similar to lots of other stuff they did. I like that sound a great deal, but it isn't really anything particularly unique or special as far as they go. I'm not disappointed, but I remember how stirred I was by pretty much EVERYTHING on "Let Love In," and I hope that can happen with this new one.
"Home" I can't tell if I like yet. All that exists on YouTube is concert recordings which I kind of hate because the sound quality is low and all messed up by the screaming crowd-- although I was highly amused by the one I listened to including Johnny Rzeznik telling people to go download bootlegs of the song off the internet, and then thanking the "d-bags" who were recording this because it would get him in trouble with his record company for basically encouraging them all to steal their music. Point is, though, that I really couldn't tell from that if I liked the song. The snippet available on iTunes makes me optimistic, but it's so short I'm not sure I can pass judgment yet. I should probably buy it anyway, but I hate spending money on songs I'm not sure about.
Also, Johnny, I love you, but you are not allowed to have any more songs with "turn you inside out" as the second line in the lyrics.
"Real" evidently was made specially for the 2008 Olympics and has never been collected on any album. I like it a lot, and probably will listen to it on loop for a whileas is my wont when I find a new song I like, but I find it a bit... generic for them. Like, exactly to my taste, but it sounds very typically Goo Goo Dolls, similar to lots of other stuff they did. I like that sound a great deal, but it isn't really anything particularly unique or special as far as they go. I'm not disappointed, but I remember how stirred I was by pretty much EVERYTHING on "Let Love In," and I hope that can happen with this new one.
"Home" I can't tell if I like yet. All that exists on YouTube is concert recordings which I kind of hate because the sound quality is low and all messed up by the screaming crowd-- although I was highly amused by the one I listened to including Johnny Rzeznik telling people to go download bootlegs of the song off the internet, and then thanking the "d-bags" who were recording this because it would get him in trouble with his record company for basically encouraging them all to steal their music. Point is, though, that I really couldn't tell from that if I liked the song. The snippet available on iTunes makes me optimistic, but it's so short I'm not sure I can pass judgment yet. I should probably buy it anyway, but I hate spending money on songs I'm not sure about.
Also, Johnny, I love you, but you are not allowed to have any more songs with "turn you inside out" as the second line in the lyrics.
Summer Black-Out Challenge, Day 5
I've been trying to make these outfits kind of unusual for one reason or another, but today's I decided to keep subtle. I am a big fan of the flattering fitted T-shirt on women with with well-fitting pants, so I just tried to work the sharp simplicity of that look to my advantage. Today's color, I suppose, is a dusty rose PINK.
Dusty-pink fitted T-shirt
Khakhi dress pants
Anniversary necklace
Garnet and silver shield earrings
Silky brown and white scarf as belt
Brown wedge sandals
The only really unusually touch is I used the scarf I wore in my hair yesterday as a belt today. But I think I like it, it adds interest. And I get points for doing something that's not hyper-coordinated, right?
.jpg)
It's so much easier to take a picture I don't hate when my hair is down. I wonder why that is; perhaps I have a displeasingly-shaped head that is concealed by the drape of hair. I could believe that. There's also the problem inherent in how I have always firmly believed myself to be prettier when I don't smile (what a metaphor for my life that is!) and so hate smiling in photos. But the whole fashion-model-beauty-is-pain-you-couldn't-possibly-understand-me look seems like it might be taking myself a wee bit too seriously in shots of my outfit I do in the bathroom at work for my blog to a variably-interested audience. :-)
Dusty-pink fitted T-shirt
Khakhi dress pants
Anniversary necklace
Garnet and silver shield earrings
Silky brown and white scarf as belt
Brown wedge sandals
The only really unusually touch is I used the scarf I wore in my hair yesterday as a belt today. But I think I like it, it adds interest. And I get points for doing something that's not hyper-coordinated, right?
.jpg)
It's so much easier to take a picture I don't hate when my hair is down. I wonder why that is; perhaps I have a displeasingly-shaped head that is concealed by the drape of hair. I could believe that. There's also the problem inherent in how I have always firmly believed myself to be prettier when I don't smile (what a metaphor for my life that is!) and so hate smiling in photos. But the whole fashion-model-beauty-is-pain-you-couldn't-possibly-understand-me look seems like it might be taking myself a wee bit too seriously in shots of my outfit I do in the bathroom at work for my blog to a variably-interested audience. :-)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Summer Black-Out Challenge, Day 4
Yeah, remember yesterday when I said I should try to be less matchy-matchy? That did not happen today, because apparently today is MONOCHROME RAWR DAY. These things are also kind of turning into "the color of the day" deals, which was not really my intent, but whatever, at least I'm focusing on being colorful. So, according to that trend and my love of coordination, today we have a brunette who is wearing all BROWN.
Brown knit top
Mossimo dark jeans
Silky brown and white scarf as headband
Anniversary necklace
Dangling gold earrings
Brown leather belt
Brown suede Pumas
Even my hair fits the color scheme.
I'm not sure I like the scarf-as-headband look, or at least I've never quite figured out how to wear it so that I am totally satisfied with it. But it's interesting and I'm experimenting and will continue to. At least it looks less awkward than when I first started trying it. It looked like somebody was trying to giftwrap my head.
.jpg)
Happy birthday, world. I got you a head.
For some reason I could not take a picture of me wearing it where how it draped down the side didn't remind me of the way a nun's habit falls. In real life I swear it doesn't look so Sister Mary Phoebe.
Brown knit top
Mossimo dark jeans
Silky brown and white scarf as headband
Anniversary necklace
Dangling gold earrings
Brown leather belt
Brown suede Pumas
Even my hair fits the color scheme.
I'm not sure I like the scarf-as-headband look, or at least I've never quite figured out how to wear it so that I am totally satisfied with it. But it's interesting and I'm experimenting and will continue to. At least it looks less awkward than when I first started trying it. It looked like somebody was trying to giftwrap my head.
.jpg)
Happy birthday, world. I got you a head.
For some reason I could not take a picture of me wearing it where how it draped down the side didn't remind me of the way a nun's habit falls. In real life I swear it doesn't look so Sister Mary Phoebe.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
So much gaming coming up!
The next week and a half promises to be jam-packed with gaming for me. It will be of both the tabletop and larp varieties, and I will be participating in the capacities of both player and GM.
This Friday night, Joe will will be running a prewritten Call of Cthlulhu game set in World War I. I've played in his Lovecraft games before and really enjoyed them, and he says this is a particularly fun mod, so I expect it to be good. My only concern is that we won't be able to get started until late, and I have a tough time staying up past midnight these days, even on the weekends.
Saturday will be the off-day. With much of the desired player pool depleted by Rage Across the Cape, no other games will be scheduled for this day. I don't mind, it's probably good to have a break in there somewhere, and I want to have nothing conflicting with the birthday party I am looking forward to attending in the evening.
Either Sunday afternoon or Monday evening will have my Burn Notice game. I really want to finish the adventure they're currently on, and I am certain it can be done by the end of this session. We haven't played since January; after the last session my play started up, like, immediately and there was never any time. Over the next few days I must buckle down and plan the thing. I know the gist of it, where I'd like it to go and all, but it's been long enough since we played that I must rethink some things, and just try to prepare for the eventualities. I am excited for the conclusion of this job; the climax of I expect shall be well-received. I like to think it's quite a kicker. :-)
Monday or Tuesday night will be a mod designed to test some of the rules devised by Bernie and Joe with the intention of being used in larp projects. I am not certain I'm the best person to be involved in such a playtest, but I have been told my aversion to rules, particularly complicated ones, will give me a perspective useful in determining what will be too unweildy and byzantine for larpers who think like me.
Wow. That's a lot of tabletopping, especially for me. And then, with Thursday comes the day we prepare for The Labor Wars the following weekend. We have cooking to get started with, and of course stuffing the game. And then Friday, Saturday, and Sunday shall be spent watching things unfold. I can't say enough how very, very excited I am. It occurs to me that we GMs once discussed assuming the roles of house servants to add to the verisimilitude during the run; I should ask if we're actually doing that, and figure out some appropriate costuming.
Ah, so much to do. I am at once daunted by the work and anticipating the fun. Yay!
This Friday night, Joe will will be running a prewritten Call of Cthlulhu game set in World War I. I've played in his Lovecraft games before and really enjoyed them, and he says this is a particularly fun mod, so I expect it to be good. My only concern is that we won't be able to get started until late, and I have a tough time staying up past midnight these days, even on the weekends.
Saturday will be the off-day. With much of the desired player pool depleted by Rage Across the Cape, no other games will be scheduled for this day. I don't mind, it's probably good to have a break in there somewhere, and I want to have nothing conflicting with the birthday party I am looking forward to attending in the evening.
Either Sunday afternoon or Monday evening will have my Burn Notice game. I really want to finish the adventure they're currently on, and I am certain it can be done by the end of this session. We haven't played since January; after the last session my play started up, like, immediately and there was never any time. Over the next few days I must buckle down and plan the thing. I know the gist of it, where I'd like it to go and all, but it's been long enough since we played that I must rethink some things, and just try to prepare for the eventualities. I am excited for the conclusion of this job; the climax of I expect shall be well-received. I like to think it's quite a kicker. :-)
Monday or Tuesday night will be a mod designed to test some of the rules devised by Bernie and Joe with the intention of being used in larp projects. I am not certain I'm the best person to be involved in such a playtest, but I have been told my aversion to rules, particularly complicated ones, will give me a perspective useful in determining what will be too unweildy and byzantine for larpers who think like me.
Wow. That's a lot of tabletopping, especially for me. And then, with Thursday comes the day we prepare for The Labor Wars the following weekend. We have cooking to get started with, and of course stuffing the game. And then Friday, Saturday, and Sunday shall be spent watching things unfold. I can't say enough how very, very excited I am. It occurs to me that we GMs once discussed assuming the roles of house servants to add to the verisimilitude during the run; I should ask if we're actually doing that, and figure out some appropriate costuming.
Ah, so much to do. I am at once daunted by the work and anticipating the fun. Yay!
Summer Black-Out Challenge, Day 3
Today I decided to go for something kind of weird. I wanted to wear a brightly colored skirt, but most of my brightly-colored skirts are a wee bit short to wear to work. So I turned to one of my favorite versatile accessories-- scarves. The color of today is RED.
Red pashmina as wraparound skirt
Off-white lace camisole
Fluffy red scarf
Garnet and silver shield earrings
Brown wedge sandals
I just wrapped the pashmina twice around my waist and tied it at one corner so the fringed edge drapes along the front. It's a beautiful vibrant color, though it's so wide it makes for a slightly-beyond-knee-length skirt. I wished it stopped above the knee, but it still looks nice.
The fluffy red scarf I was a little less sure about. I knew I needed something red up on top to sort of tie things together, and the only other red accessory of this kind I have is this one, which I thought would look odd because it's so clearly intended for warmth in winter. But I decided to take a chance, knotted it in an interesting way around my neck, and let one end drape down each side of my shoulder. I actually think I like it.
.jpg)
There. That doesn't look too weird, does it? My hair over it makes it subtler, which helps.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to put together outfits if I were more comfortable throwing different colors together, but I like a little bit of coordination. Even my earrings today have red stones in them Still, one must never become too matchy-matchy or else you start to just look silly. Maybe if I'd been able to use black, or if I had a scarf in a color that complimented red more. But this turned out pretty cute. Tomorrow I will try to mix up the colors a bit.
Red pashmina as wraparound skirt
Off-white lace camisole
Fluffy red scarf
Garnet and silver shield earrings
Brown wedge sandals
I just wrapped the pashmina twice around my waist and tied it at one corner so the fringed edge drapes along the front. It's a beautiful vibrant color, though it's so wide it makes for a slightly-beyond-knee-length skirt. I wished it stopped above the knee, but it still looks nice.
The fluffy red scarf I was a little less sure about. I knew I needed something red up on top to sort of tie things together, and the only other red accessory of this kind I have is this one, which I thought would look odd because it's so clearly intended for warmth in winter. But I decided to take a chance, knotted it in an interesting way around my neck, and let one end drape down each side of my shoulder. I actually think I like it.
.jpg)
There. That doesn't look too weird, does it? My hair over it makes it subtler, which helps.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to put together outfits if I were more comfortable throwing different colors together, but I like a little bit of coordination. Even my earrings today have red stones in them Still, one must never become too matchy-matchy or else you start to just look silly. Maybe if I'd been able to use black, or if I had a scarf in a color that complimented red more. But this turned out pretty cute. Tomorrow I will try to mix up the colors a bit.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Summer Black-Out Challenge, Day 2
Decided to go simpler for day two of Summer Black-Out Challenge. All the accessories of yesterday were fun, but it was kind of a lot to wear all at once. But I still wanted a rich color. So today we are PURPLE.
Ruched purple sleeveless blouse
Sweet Dreams jeans
Silver-set amber necklace
Amber drop earrings
Brown wedge sandals
Hair in two buns
.jpg)
Same jewelry as yesterday, but I really like how the bright amber compliments the bold colors of both today's purple and yesterday's turquoise. God, this is a terrible picture, but the best of about sixty even worse ones. I photograph so badly. I swear I didn't look like this in the mirror today. :-P
No black shoes encourages me to wear more fun ones like today's. I love these shoes so much I have to share them.
.jpg)
I bought these for my Bastet costume for Festival of the Larps '07. I've just about worn them to death, but they still look really cute.
And that is a considerably less awful picture than the previous one. Don't you hate it when your feet come out better than your face? :-P
Ruched purple sleeveless blouse
Sweet Dreams jeans
Silver-set amber necklace
Amber drop earrings
Brown wedge sandals
Hair in two buns
.jpg)
Same jewelry as yesterday, but I really like how the bright amber compliments the bold colors of both today's purple and yesterday's turquoise. God, this is a terrible picture, but the best of about sixty even worse ones. I photograph so badly. I swear I didn't look like this in the mirror today. :-P
No black shoes encourages me to wear more fun ones like today's. I love these shoes so much I have to share them.
.jpg)
I bought these for my Bastet costume for Festival of the Larps '07. I've just about worn them to death, but they still look really cute.
And that is a considerably less awful picture than the previous one. Don't you hate it when your feet come out better than your face? :-P
Monday, June 7, 2010
Labor Wars approaches!
Just finished my last (I think) assigned bits of writing for The Labor Wars. As I checked them off my to do list, I felt a rush of excitement. This is so close to happening! We've got this brand-new game almost ready to go! I got to be part of a huge new writing project with people I really like and whose work I really respect! Yay! Less than two weeks to go.
The intervening time is looking to be busy. Bernie's brother Joe will be coming to visit, and I really want to hang out with him, but the schedule for the time he's in town is still very up in the air. I know he wants to run a couple of tabletop games while he's here (and I certainly wouldn't mind him finishing off the last session of Burn Notice he was so awesome in) but that's a lot of gaming in a fairly short space of time, and I'm not certain what we'll have time and players to do. I'm pretty much free all of that time if I need to be, but I really like knowing ahead of time how to arrange my schedule.
The intervening time is looking to be busy. Bernie's brother Joe will be coming to visit, and I really want to hang out with him, but the schedule for the time he's in town is still very up in the air. I know he wants to run a couple of tabletop games while he's here (and I certainly wouldn't mind him finishing off the last session of Burn Notice he was so awesome in) but that's a lot of gaming in a fairly short space of time, and I'm not certain what we'll have time and players to do. I'm pretty much free all of that time if I need to be, but I really like knowing ahead of time how to arrange my schedule.
Summer Black-Out Challenge, Day 1
Today marks the first day of my Summer Black-Out 2010 week. That is, in case you missed my introductory post, where I challenge myself to not wear any black at all for an entire week in an effort to enjoy some summer colors. And for the hell of it, to document it on the blog.
I was going to go with a white blouse today, but I decided that was a pussy way to start off a week that's supposed to be about color. So today I wear BLUE. Oh so very much BRIGHT TURQUOISE BLUE.
.jpg)
Textured turquoise button-neck shirt, hand-me-down from Mom
Blue varicolor scarf
Skinny turquoise scarf for belt
Sweet Dreams jeans
Silver-set amber necklace
Amber drop earrings
Why is it so tough to take a full-length picture of yourself in a mirror without covering up your face?
Hello, face. Nice to see you again. Wish I'd thought to get my earrings in the shot, but at least you can sort of see the necklace, the only non-blue in a SEA OF OVERWHELMING TURQUOISE.
I was going to go with a white blouse today, but I decided that was a pussy way to start off a week that's supposed to be about color. So today I wear BLUE. Oh so very much BRIGHT TURQUOISE BLUE.
.jpg)
Textured turquoise button-neck shirt, hand-me-down from Mom
Blue varicolor scarf
Skinny turquoise scarf for belt
Sweet Dreams jeans
Silver-set amber necklace
Amber drop earrings
Why is it so tough to take a full-length picture of yourself in a mirror without covering up your face?
Hello, face. Nice to see you again. Wish I'd thought to get my earrings in the shot, but at least you can sort of see the necklace, the only non-blue in a SEA OF OVERWHELMING TURQUOISE.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Porkstravaganza
I have had some lovely dinner parties, but this one I just had was especially fun and successful. I had decided to take advantage of the only good part of not having Jared or Bernie around, getting to cook trayf. So I wanted to throw on some pork for myself and some friends I thought would appreciate it. My first thought was chops, because there is nothing like a good brined pork chop, but I always do chops when I serve pork, and there were to be so many guests that I'd have to cook them in several batches. Seemed like a pain. I could do a roast, which would have been delicious and fed lots of people eaily, but the preparation was so simple I thought I would challenge myself instead. So, recalling a diinner out wiith Jared and in_water_writ* from several years ago, I decided to try my hand at stuffing a tenderloin. I carefully butterflied an eight-pound loin (cut in half to fit in the pan), stuffed it with a mixture of cornbread, onion, celery, and chicken broth, rolled it up, and secured it with butcher's twine and wooden skewers. Carefully sticking it through with my probe thermometer, I cooked the bugger to temperature-- since starting to do that, my meat has come out of the oven a lot better. Accompanied by baked sweet potatoes and a side salad of mesclun, pecans, red pepper, and red onion dressed with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, I am pleased to report that every diner present had an enjoyable meal.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Jack never approved of journaling
I have always been bemused by C.S. Lewis's oft-mentioned dislike of the practice of journaling. Despite so frequently denigrating it, he actually did it quite often, and some of his most powerful self-reflective works (A Grief Observed, for example) were technically composed by journaling. But seemed to view it as a sort of self-indulgence, a practice that encouraged excessive focus on the self.
I think he was so sensitive toward anything that so encouraged because he already recognized a strong tendency towards it in himself. One of the things I most admire about Lewis and have always worked to emulate was his ruthlessly accurate understanding of his own nature. But the unfortunate companion to the truly self-aware is often some degree of self-absorption. God knows it's certainly dogged me in my own efforts. It takes a great deal of time thinking about you to arrive at real personal understanding, and all that time is necessarily precluded from regard for other things, such as other people, or important efforts, or God. I believe it is in criticism of this that Lewis makes his stance-- he was not about to approve of anything that drove him even further into his failing.
I don't really agree; I think journaling is a very positive thing. I like that it encourages me to produce writing, which in turn improves my writing. I think it helps us work through problems, clarfying thoughts, developing points, and cope with our pain. I also believe that the achievement of true self-awareness is worth some time spent in excessive self-absportion; remembering to attend to the external can always be yet worked towards. And you'll notice that even though Lewis disapproved of the pursuit he did it anyway-- because it helped him clarify, develop, cope. We have some of his powerful personal works because he did it anyway.
But I know what he means. He was so ruthlessly fair, so clear-eyed for both the hard edge against and the compassion for the human plight. He articulated both "Who am I, that it is so wrong that I should suffer?" and "I am such that my suffering does signify." He was so full of that burning contradiction, so strange and yet so critical, of the everything and the nothing of our state, unafraid to at once accept the burden and claim the significance. He kept cutting, no matter how painful, until he exposed truth.
I don't always reach the same conclusions as Lewis. I don't always have the same experiences or viewpoints. But he speaks to me because he cuts himself with all the same blades I do.
I think he was so sensitive toward anything that so encouraged because he already recognized a strong tendency towards it in himself. One of the things I most admire about Lewis and have always worked to emulate was his ruthlessly accurate understanding of his own nature. But the unfortunate companion to the truly self-aware is often some degree of self-absorption. God knows it's certainly dogged me in my own efforts. It takes a great deal of time thinking about you to arrive at real personal understanding, and all that time is necessarily precluded from regard for other things, such as other people, or important efforts, or God. I believe it is in criticism of this that Lewis makes his stance-- he was not about to approve of anything that drove him even further into his failing.
I don't really agree; I think journaling is a very positive thing. I like that it encourages me to produce writing, which in turn improves my writing. I think it helps us work through problems, clarfying thoughts, developing points, and cope with our pain. I also believe that the achievement of true self-awareness is worth some time spent in excessive self-absportion; remembering to attend to the external can always be yet worked towards. And you'll notice that even though Lewis disapproved of the pursuit he did it anyway-- because it helped him clarify, develop, cope. We have some of his powerful personal works because he did it anyway.
But I know what he means. He was so ruthlessly fair, so clear-eyed for both the hard edge against and the compassion for the human plight. He articulated both "Who am I, that it is so wrong that I should suffer?" and "I am such that my suffering does signify." He was so full of that burning contradiction, so strange and yet so critical, of the everything and the nothing of our state, unafraid to at once accept the burden and claim the significance. He kept cutting, no matter how painful, until he exposed truth.
I don't always reach the same conclusions as Lewis. I don't always have the same experiences or viewpoints. But he speaks to me because he cuts himself with all the same blades I do.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Style Challenge: Summer Black-Out 2010
So I read a style sometimes blog called Already Pretty, which I like for it's theoretical style advice and applaud for its positive body image outlook (even if I don't always necessarily agree with its approach on that front.) The writer has issued an interesting personal challenge to herself-- could she not wear any black clothing at all for two entire summer months and rely solely on more vibrant colors to create interesting, seasonally-appropriate looks? She calls it her "Summer Black-Out 2010 Challenge," and exhorted her readers to give it a try as well, not for the entirety of June and July, but just for the week of Monday, June 7th to Monday, June 14th.
Now I love my neutrals, especially black. Black looks good against my pale skin, and being a goth deep down in the depths of my tormented soul, it is a color that suits my tastes. But I depend an awful lot on it as a standby when I can't think of anything else, so it might be a fun challenge to cut it out entirely as an option. I certainly couldn't go two whole months without it, but a week could be interesting. So I thought what the hell, I'll give it a try. From the 7th to the 14th, expect to see me trying to creatively work around including any black in my outfits.
We could all use a little more color in our lives. :-)
And until then, I will be wearing ALL MY BLACK.
Now I love my neutrals, especially black. Black looks good against my pale skin, and being a goth deep down in the depths of my tormented soul, it is a color that suits my tastes. But I depend an awful lot on it as a standby when I can't think of anything else, so it might be a fun challenge to cut it out entirely as an option. I certainly couldn't go two whole months without it, but a week could be interesting. So I thought what the hell, I'll give it a try. From the 7th to the 14th, expect to see me trying to creatively work around including any black in my outfits.
We could all use a little more color in our lives. :-)
And until then, I will be wearing ALL MY BLACK.
Two weeks until Labor Wars!
At last the hives have abated. The antihistimine I took seemed to clear things up within a few hours, and I managed to actually not rend every last shred of dermis from my body in the interim. Here's hoping this is the end of it. In the meantime I'm going to be avoiding acorn squash, just to be on the safe side.
Yesterday was a very good day. Yesterday marked the first day I fully incorporated every step of my new summer self-care routine, including genuine intense exercise, proper nutrition, proper hydration, and skin care. My not feeling so great emotionally lately has led to my not taking very good care of myself, which leads to my not feeling so great physically, which in turn makes me feel worse emotionally. This is my effort to end that cycle, and though it's certainly going to require a lot of work on my part to break out of this inertia I've been buried in, I felt pretty damn good after accomplishing it yesterday. One day at a time, I suppose.
Had an excellent Labor Wars meeting last night. We are down to the final two weeks or so before the game debuts, and we are, in my opinion, in very good shape. We finalized a few more public pieces of information last night, as well as figured out some important mechanics, made both an in-game and out-of-game schedule, and made some plans for the dinner that we'll be serving Saturday night. I always wanted to put on a game that had a dinner served within it! I am excited to help emp42ress* with the cooking. I feel like we're in a really good place with where we are with this game, so I have every hope that the inaugural run will go well.
Yesterday was a very good day. Yesterday marked the first day I fully incorporated every step of my new summer self-care routine, including genuine intense exercise, proper nutrition, proper hydration, and skin care. My not feeling so great emotionally lately has led to my not taking very good care of myself, which leads to my not feeling so great physically, which in turn makes me feel worse emotionally. This is my effort to end that cycle, and though it's certainly going to require a lot of work on my part to break out of this inertia I've been buried in, I felt pretty damn good after accomplishing it yesterday. One day at a time, I suppose.
Had an excellent Labor Wars meeting last night. We are down to the final two weeks or so before the game debuts, and we are, in my opinion, in very good shape. We finalized a few more public pieces of information last night, as well as figured out some important mechanics, made both an in-game and out-of-game schedule, and made some plans for the dinner that we'll be serving Saturday night. I always wanted to put on a game that had a dinner served within it! I am excited to help emp42ress* with the cooking. I feel like we're in a really good place with where we are with this game, so I have every hope that the inaugural run will go well.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Missing someone
There's lots of nice stuff about being alone.
I can cook thick center-cut pork chops, cool jumbo shrimp, or creamy sea-fresh scallops, in as much butter as I want.
I don't have to clean up or around someone else's stuff cluttering up my room.
I don't have to make sure anyone else gets up in the morning.
I don't have to wait around for anyone who's running late.
I don't have to worry about taking anyone else's schedule into account.
I can go to bed as early as I want.
...
I'd rather someone be here anyway.
I can cook thick center-cut pork chops, cool jumbo shrimp, or creamy sea-fresh scallops, in as much butter as I want.
I don't have to clean up or around someone else's stuff cluttering up my room.
I don't have to make sure anyone else gets up in the morning.
I don't have to wait around for anyone who's running late.
I don't have to worry about taking anyone else's schedule into account.
I can go to bed as early as I want.
...
I'd rather someone be here anyway.
Wretched hives of scum and villainy
I have hives. Wait, no, that's not right. I don't just "have hives." I have all the hives. Every hive, that ever hove, in all the world, I have somewhere on my body right now.
Sunday morning I woke up with a scattering of them on my thighs. They were kind of itchy but not too bad, so I just kind of forgot about them. But around the time we were cooking dinner, they just started to spread everywhere. At bedtime Jared gave me an antihistimine and I slathered myself in anti-itch lotion, which helped me fall asleep. In the morning on Monday I was hive-free, and thought that was the end of it. But by Tuesday afternoon they exploded all over me again, and they persist now even on Wednesday morning. They itch like crazy, and it's really tough to not just tear all my skin off trying to scratch.
I'm not the kind of person who often gets hives, especially not covering the entirety of my body, so I'm a wee bit concerned that something is off here. I stopped by the drugstore on my way to work this morning to buy more antihistimine and took one just now, so hopefully that will eventually put an end to it. If this keeps up, people tell me I should see a doctor. Well, I've been meaning to anyway, if not for this reason, so I guess that's something pushing me to get it done.
I am trying to trace the source, though most cases of hives are idiopathic so I probably don't have much of a shot. I recently used different laundry detergent (people moving out of their dorms donated various kinds to Elsinore), but I've done several loads already before now with no ill effects. I switched to a new shampoo, but again I'd used it a few times by the point of the first outbreak, and I certainly haven't used it between the first and the second one. The only other possibility I can think of is the acorn squash we made for Sunday dinner. Though I didn't handle the squash much during the preparation, I did a little, and it was around cooking time when I first noticed the hives getting bad. They really exploded during the meal when I was actually eating it. And then I was fine on Monday when I didn't have any of it, but when I finished off the leftovers yesterday they resurged with a vengeance.
So maybe that's it. That still doesn't explain the scattering of hives I woke up with Sunday morning, way before I'd had anything to do with the squash, and I've had acorn squash before with no allergic reaction, so I don't know. I just want to know what the hell to avoid, because I look like a tomato patch over here. A tomato patch being eating alive by stinging insects. :-P
Sunday morning I woke up with a scattering of them on my thighs. They were kind of itchy but not too bad, so I just kind of forgot about them. But around the time we were cooking dinner, they just started to spread everywhere. At bedtime Jared gave me an antihistimine and I slathered myself in anti-itch lotion, which helped me fall asleep. In the morning on Monday I was hive-free, and thought that was the end of it. But by Tuesday afternoon they exploded all over me again, and they persist now even on Wednesday morning. They itch like crazy, and it's really tough to not just tear all my skin off trying to scratch.
I'm not the kind of person who often gets hives, especially not covering the entirety of my body, so I'm a wee bit concerned that something is off here. I stopped by the drugstore on my way to work this morning to buy more antihistimine and took one just now, so hopefully that will eventually put an end to it. If this keeps up, people tell me I should see a doctor. Well, I've been meaning to anyway, if not for this reason, so I guess that's something pushing me to get it done.
I am trying to trace the source, though most cases of hives are idiopathic so I probably don't have much of a shot. I recently used different laundry detergent (people moving out of their dorms donated various kinds to Elsinore), but I've done several loads already before now with no ill effects. I switched to a new shampoo, but again I'd used it a few times by the point of the first outbreak, and I certainly haven't used it between the first and the second one. The only other possibility I can think of is the acorn squash we made for Sunday dinner. Though I didn't handle the squash much during the preparation, I did a little, and it was around cooking time when I first noticed the hives getting bad. They really exploded during the meal when I was actually eating it. And then I was fine on Monday when I didn't have any of it, but when I finished off the leftovers yesterday they resurged with a vengeance.
So maybe that's it. That still doesn't explain the scattering of hives I woke up with Sunday morning, way before I'd had anything to do with the squash, and I've had acorn squash before with no allergic reaction, so I don't know. I just want to know what the hell to avoid, because I look like a tomato patch over here. A tomato patch being eating alive by stinging insects. :-P
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
All alone for now
Jared is back home in Chicago now. I drove him to the airport yesterday morning, then spent most of the rest of the day not doing much beyond a few random chores and hanging around feeling slightly mopey. I know we've spent three previous summers separated before, and I do honestly believe the downtime will be good for him, but it's always tough to spend the time apart. Ah, well, it'll be okay.
We now officially have blendedchaitea* as a roommate. She moved in successfully on Sunday and I believe is settling in well. The house went on a massive Target run after she arrived and we replaced a lot of necessary items in the communal spaces. Then we had a nice big dinner together, planned by Jared and I and prepared by everyone working together. I feel more comfortable and optimistic about my living situation than I have in a long time. I like and feel like I will get along with all the people I'm living with and will be living with, which may take a great deal of stress out of my daily life. Certainly could use that.
Today I begin my exercise plan. All this week Jared and I made an effort to walk places rather than drive, which was giving us around two miles a day. Not a bad start, but I'm going to need something more intense if I want to get in shape and get rid of this little gut I'm getting. So in addition to making an effort to walk more, I want to add a daily routine that goes at least a half an hour a day. Let's see if I can muster the discipline.
We now officially have blendedchaitea* as a roommate. She moved in successfully on Sunday and I believe is settling in well. The house went on a massive Target run after she arrived and we replaced a lot of necessary items in the communal spaces. Then we had a nice big dinner together, planned by Jared and I and prepared by everyone working together. I feel more comfortable and optimistic about my living situation than I have in a long time. I like and feel like I will get along with all the people I'm living with and will be living with, which may take a great deal of stress out of my daily life. Certainly could use that.
Today I begin my exercise plan. All this week Jared and I made an effort to walk places rather than drive, which was giving us around two miles a day. Not a bad start, but I'm going to need something more intense if I want to get in shape and get rid of this little gut I'm getting. So in addition to making an effort to walk more, I want to add a daily routine that goes at least a half an hour a day. Let's see if I can muster the discipline.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
