Tapped out

I am drained. Not really sure why, I just feel... tapped out. Physically sort of, but mostly emotionally.

I am increasingly clashing with people important to me over the fact that to most, unselfishness means giving things to and for each other, but for me, unselfishness means not taking things from each other.

I don't want anything from anyone. I've always believed that one's default setting should be expecting to have to take care of yourself, and I've never understood people who behave as if asking others for things is a standard option, as if it's anything but an absolute last resort. I feel like I'm just doing the bare minimum right now on that front, but there's nothing I want anyone to do to help me. The only thing that's anyone else has ever been able to do that actually seemed to help was not laying any additional burdens on me when I'm like this. But at the same time, I feel guilty about not wanting to go any extra effort, or absorb others' emotional struggles, or take on the burdens of anyone else. I just feel so tired right now that I don't feel up to the task.

Ah, well. I'll get over it, and be right back to my typical taking-care-of-various scheduled programming. But for the moment, it just seems like way too much for me to handle.