One thing about me is that first impressions have a huge effect on me. I have always thought that putting in the effort to make a good one when you first meet someone is a gesture of respect, a sign that you believe that everyone and their thoughts and feelings are important. I put a lot of esteem when I see people trying to make good ones. And by the same token, I take it to be an enormous failure of respect when I meet someone who does not try.
It doesn't take a lot in my book to show that you're trying to make a good first impression. Be nice, be polite, be friendly, be interested. Bring out your kindest behavior; don't start off being mean, even if it's just to be funny. You don't even know me, how do you know I won't think you're just acting like a jerk? Don't disregard me like I'm something boring to you. If you don't care about me, why should I care about you? Once we get to know each other, then I will understand who you really are better, but do not start off our relationship by displaying yourself as a jerk, a boor, or an idiot when I have zero information to qualify you otherwise. Do not start it off by indicating to me that you don't care what I think of you.
I know someone who began their acquaintance with me behaving incredibly rudely because they thought it was funny. I know another someone of whom my first experience was them repeatedly disregarding me in a manner that made them come off as some combination of a churl and an idiot. To this day I cannot get over my dislike of these people, no matter how they act around me now, because I can't get past the fact that they didn't think it was important to present themselves with kindness and respect to me. I can think of only a few people, as a matter of fact, of whom I have ever managed to over a strongly negative first impression. Chances are if we are friends, you made yourself a good one.
I, you see, am a very important person. I suppose there are some people out there who aren't important-- meanies, child molesters, and the like --but I think everyone should believe themselves to be important, and I certainly do. Therefore you should care very much to earn a good opinion from me. And it's not even actually succeeding in making the good first impression that I judge by. It's that making the attempt, putting in the effort, to impress well is a sign of respect to me. It's a gesture that you consider the person significant enough that you want them to think well of you. It's okay if you stumble over yourself and end up acting silly-- as long as I see you're trying to make a good first impression, I esteem you to have behaved well. And therefore, I think well of you. You should always work on making a good first impression, I believe, because you never know who might be important.
I know this isn't really a good thing, to place so much stock in a first meeting. People can screw up, and God knows I am certainly capable of judging too harshly. It would probably be better for me to continually reevaluate based on every new experience, and if someone of whom my first impression wasn't good demonstrates their true character to be better, I should be open to changing my opinion. But it is something that is very hard for me to get over my distaste for people who didn't care enough to present themselves well to me on first meeting.
It is, like so many other things, something I need to work on.
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