Don't want to deal

In Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis talks about how he had always been inclined toward sacrificing all aspects of a state of being, both positive and negative, than having to endure anything negative about that state of being at all. He preferred, for example, abject neglect by others if it meant no mistreatment or interference; he preferred blandness to offensiveness even if it meant nothing of interest; in short, he would give up all possibility of anything positive as long as it meant avoiding a particular negative.

Lately I have been in something akin to that state fairly frequently. I have had no capacity to handle anything troublesome lately. Well, that's not exactly true. I have been technically able to, but when things arise that I will have to handle, it just makes me feel utterly overwhelmed and desirous of doing anything to avoid it. I have just been subsumed into an overall state of "not wanting to deal." I have been avoiding people rather than putting myself into frustrating interactions. The slightest complication to my life has sent me seeking some escape. I'm worried this is why I've been sleeping more, and why I've been wanting so much time alone. Having nothing to deal with means nothing negative to deal with, but at the expense of anything positive.

This worries me because I am concerned of what really important things this will drive me to avoid rather than confront. It also worries me because I'm concerned about what this desire to avoid will drive me to do.