First of all, I like the atmosphere. I'm always so impressed to see the fairgrounds for these things. I love that they actually built permanent structures with neat pseudo-medieval appearences to house the works of the vendors and artisans. It makes it so much more immersive, and I'm pretty shocked that somebody was actually willing to front the cost for it! ANd we saw lots of people in garb of varying degrees of awesomeness. Favorites included a terryfingly badass looking pirate, an extremely complex gypsy outfit, and the man covered in green body paint apparently dressed as a troll. Least favorites as always include the sneakers worn with elaborate dresses, and the women who cram themselves into corsets such that their breasts resemble freshly risen pizza dough that is pinched in awkward ways. Is that supposed to be sexy? Meh.
I wanted to find a neat thing to buy while I was there, like a costume item or a neat piece of jewelry, and perhaps something as a present for Jared. But sadly everything that caught my eye was extremely expensive and nothing within my price range appealed to me enough to spend the money. I brought a hundred dollars with me to spend, and after purchasing fifteen dollars worth of food tickets (clever scam they've got going with that there), I ended up putting the rest back into my savings account. I must say, in the long run it's probably more satisfying to see that safely put away than blown on Renaissance memorabilia. Ah, well. Still no corset for me, I suppose.
As a side note, I am developing kind of a sour-grapes dislike of corsets. I want to like them, but I never can find one that looks good on me. My experiences with them tend to consist mostly of my torso being too narrow for the laces, thus in no way benefiting my waist, and my breasts just kind of slipping pathetically behind the bodice part, thus in no way benefiting my bust. I have about a twenty-five-inch waist, and according to the ladies who helped me try one on, I should be shooting for a size twenty-three corset, which they didn't have in stock because "All the tiny sizes sell out really quick." I was a little shocked to hear that, seeing as most people around my size tend to be fairly young, and young people don't tend to have the money to blow on expensive costume pieces like a corset, but maybe they just don't make many to begin with. Ah, well, I suppose it's good I didn't spend the money, as I am both young and not financially free. And to be honest I find the look rarely works quite the way I like it anyway. Girls with big racks all-too-often end up with the pizza dough problem, and girls with small racks end up looking kind of pitiful and meager all shoved up like that. I even saw some girls built similarly to me in corsets, and frankly the way the corset wasp-waisted them looked weirdly disproportionate, and their boobs were just sort of sad. To make matters worse, the corsets gave even these skinny little slips a hideous overflow of BACK FAT, and I would rather wear a burlap sack than a garment that inflicts that particular atrocity on me. *Sigh* I probably would have to have a custom-made one if ever I am to own one that actually fits and flatters, and that is certainly not in my budget right now.
My favorite part of any Renaissance Fair, though, is always the joust. I love watching the knights thunder around on their horses performing feats of martial skill, and I like the pagentry of the storyline that usually goes around it. This time there was a black knight, masked to conceal his identity, competing who turned out to be Sir Joseph, a knight of the court who was banished for a murder he claimed was actually committed by Sir James, the most psychotic of his jousting opponents. After literally reciting the Old Code from Dragonheart (squee!) they squared off in a duel to the death to restore the victor's honor. The knights were asked if they swore to adhere to the rules of chivalrous conduct. Quoth Sir Joseph: "I do." Quoth Sir James: "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Yes, clearly this man is absolutely incapable of committing murder. Their battle, though, was absolutely badass, with them getting knocked off their horses and going at it hand-to-hand.
Now, I know this stuff is staged, and that somebody has to come up with what goes on in these shows. And apparently somebody was like, "Okay, armed combat is awesome, but you know what your average swordfight is missing? FIRE!" So Sir James attacked Sir Joseph with a flaming sword, and was literally SETTING everything on fire! He set Sir Joseph's clothes on fire! Sir Joseph grabbed a whip, and he set the whip on fire! Every time he cracked the whip, the flame flashed and burst! Let me tell you, nothing takes an awesome thing and makes it even more awesome like throwing some fire into the mix! By the end of this epic fire-soaked battle, Sir James as well as the knights' two seconds lay dead upon the sand. Yes, Sir Joseph, now that I have seen you bring about the deaths of three separate men, I now believe that you are not in fact a murderer. :-)
I wonder if I could get a job as a script writer for the Ren Fair. You don't even have to be historically accurate, just suitably dramatic. That would be awesome. Is there an application I can fill out?
Afterward, Bernie, Matt, and I came back and finished the evening with low-key chatting and playing of video games. It was a lovely day, all and all, and the company was excellent. I'd love to go back, perhaps in an even bigger group, but I think I may not have time before the end of the season. If you're thinking of going, I heartily recommed it.
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