I am no longer as amused by Feminist Hulk as I was at first. The formula is pretty facile, and I've grown weary of the fill-in-the-blank messages of "HULK SMASH (insert reference to patriarchy, masculine hegemony, gender inequality, whatever)". How helpful, physically breaking down a concept with no physical manifestation. :-P Also, it conflates a lot of things-- veganism, genderqueer, alternative sexuality, nontraditional relationships, and all manner of hippy-dippy things --into the definition of feminism as if they were intrinsic parts, which I dislike. Adding all these unrelated conditions turns feminism into some kind of exclusive club that you can only join if you agree with all these leftist politics that don't even factor into it. Feminism is not a lifestyle, it is a simple straightforward belief. The only "thing feminists do" is believe in the inherent value equality between the genders.
By the same token, I must point out that it feminism and being pro-LBGTQ do not necessarily go hand in hand, nor, I feel, should one necessarily enter the definition of the other. While I certainly believe you should ALSO be pro-LBGTQ and it may be a related issue, it is not in fact the same issue, and I think that the simple, elegant, effective definition of feminism gets clouded enough without giving it corollaries.
Just fucking call yourself a feminist, already. I know many people who refuse to identify as feminists because they dislike the implications. But all it really means is belief in the inherent value equality between the genders! I know the word might kind of imply something different, but that just means more people need to be educated as to the real definition. GET YOURSELF EDUCATED ON IT ALREADY.
I am so tired of people for whom their desire to construct a feminist image for themselves obscures the point of feminism. While you are out there talking about sex toys and objecting to the word "pussy" as a derogative and all the other trappings of feminism you assume, you are not always remembering to act, in all ways, on the belief that there is an inherent value equality between the genders. THAT is all of feminism that matters. The minute you treat a man like he's less or bad because he's a man, or the minute you treat a woman like she's not responsible for her own choices and actions, you are failing in being the thing you are trying to wear the costume of.
I am all about personal responsibility. I believe being a capable, discerning agent of your own actions is part of being an independent and important member of society. Therefore, any notion of feminism that does not expect personal responsibility from women offends me deeply. Either we are adults who owe the same level of responsibility as any other adults, or we are children and cannot be held responsible. So, for example, if I don't want to have sex with someone, I need to SAY SO. Unless I am being forcibly held down and violated beyond my power to control, if I just allow someone to interact with me sexually in a way I do not desire, I am at fault for my own bad situation. The man's at fault too, if only because he should be able to tell when his partner is not into it. But if you're not giving him any indication, what, he was supposed to read your mind? The average man is not a rapist; he is almost certainly going to stop the minute you say something. If it is at all within your power, by not speaking up, YOU deny yourself that agency, NOT the other person in the equation. Be your own advocate, do not make yourself into the victim.
The fact that I am a woman does not need to factor into every decision I make about the way I live my life. I am a person first and a woman second. I swear, the way some of these people see the importance of my having a vagina, they want to reduce me to the sum of my girl bits more than the knuckle-dragging cavemen-types. My vagina is not the most important part of me. I am the most important part of me.
I don't like the Bechdel Test. It's got an interesting idea on it's face, ostensibly intended to encourage female characters who are more than just foils to masculine journey and activity. That I can get behind, but I find this particular presentation flawed. I believe it is possible for women to talk about men (who, we must not forget, are human beings as well) in ways that are not subservient to a male character's narrative, and in ways that contribute to her being a full and complex character. The implication that women just shouldn't talk about men at all because it means they are inherently subjugated in such contexts is offensive to me. Way to encourage the notion that men and women just never can get along in equality.
I also don't like the Vagina Monologues. I don't understand why it is the premier women's performance piece that gets done again and again; is there really nothing better out there? The misandry running rampant throughout it is pretty disgusting to me-- there are so many recollections of horrible things done by men to women, but very, very few depictions of positive, loving men in the speakers' lives. Also, "The Little Coochie-Snorcher That Could" is so offensive I cannot believe anyone puts up with it. That one portrays in a positive light the sexual predation of a young girl by an adult woman. Apparently it's okay if A WOMAN SEXUALLY ABUSES ANOTHER WOMAN, while if it had been a man the Monologues WOULD CRUCIFY HIM. Disgusting. Disgusting to glamorize sexual assault so long as the sexuality is lesbian. A screaming, sexist double-standard. Feminism is about equality, NOT superiority! Gah!
In short: stop being anti-man, stop shirking personal responsibility, stop corrupting the definition, stop wearing it's like it's a trendy outfit that makes you cool, stop thoughtlessly playing at empty girl-power games that accomplish nothing.
As a final note, I am sorry for how often violation of these notions causes me to scream, "AHHH NO WONDER MEN HATE YOU I HATE YOU AHHHH." It is flawed and unfair to assume that men generally hate women, and it is also not good for me to hate women. I acknowledge this. I will probably not stop doing it.
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