Why I love Jaime and Brienne in ASoIaF (spoilers!)

I'm sure if we've ever talked about A Song of Ice and Fire before, you know I love the dynamic between Jaime and Brienne. I love the way it subverts heroic story tropes, and I love the remarkable understanding of the feminine condition that it displays. I can't seem to do LJ cuts right now, so it's probably best not to read ahead if you've not gotten through the whole series.

It's such a pleasant surprise for me to find this, a growing affection between a gorgeous man and an unattractive woman based on mutual respect and shared struggle, coming from a male fantasy writer. I've written before about the phenomenon of how women who feel that they've never been attractive enough for our screwed-up society to really deem Valuable often develop awestruck feelings of unworthiness in regards to beautiful men, because since society doesn't require beauty of them they have achieved some sort of superhuman status above and beyond simple Valuable. It's not something I've really found men to be aware of, so I was incredibly impressed to see it portrayed in Brienne. I suppose that's a bit patronizing to Martin, as I've generally found him to write with solid understanding of women and otherwise-not-hegemonic perspectives. In general I think he writes very believable and well-rounded female characters, as indicated by the fact that he could believably write a woman like Brienne at all. I also think he makes it clear that the misogyny in the books comes from the setting and isn't bleeding in from his own biases. Still, the man isn't perfect; he tends to use feminine aging as a punishment for badness (see Cersei, Lysa) and something this delicate I would be wary of how any writer, male or female, feminist or not, would handle it.

But I must say, I've loved the direction so far. It's such a strange, unexpected turn of events. Gorgeous, superior, scornful Jaime Lannister, already enamored of his beautiful sister, is likely to have nothing but mocking contempt for an ugly, hidebound girl who tries to act like a man. And honorable, wounded yet starry-eyed Brienne should despise the arrogant, incestuous oathbreaker. But when two people suffer together, and suffer for one another, that brings them closer, all the while gives them the chance to demonstrate to each other their true characters. They've seen each other be brave, tough, loyal, and self-sacrificing. It is odd, requiring a shift in mindset for both of them, but it was gone through in such a way that felt very believable to me.

The amount of growth it has caused in both characters really pleases me. I started out the series thinking Jaime was disgusting, a monster with no redeeming qualities. But I love when books can change my all-to-often hard-set first impressions. Now that we've been in his head I understand him and sympathize with him, if not totally excuse him from his actions. He's committed many sins, certainly, though I hardly think killing the monstrous Aerys should count among them. His complexity may have made him surpass even Tyrion as my favorite character. And I loved what his growing feelings for Brienne indicate about him. I don't believe you can love what's good without there being some good in you. His admiration for what she is, honorable, faithful, brave, redeems him somewhat, shows what there truly is inside of him, and what he could possibly be himself. As for Brienne, her growing understanding of Jaime shows her moving away from her black-and-white view of the world, that there are heroes and there are villains, and that people can be shades of gray and still have value. She is also as caught up in appearences as anyone else; she is fixated on her own lack of beauty as a real lacking in her, and those who have it, which I think was the root of her idolization of Renly, leave her in self-hating awe. I want her to come to a place where she realizes that it makes no one any better or worse than anyone else, and just because she's not beautiful herself doesn't mean she couldn't deserve an otherwise worthy man who happens to be.

I love it because it speaks powerfully to me, and because I find it extremely feminist. It's greatly equalizing that sometimes the man can be the beautiful one and still be drawn to a woman who's not. A woman's worth depends on her character, not her appearence, and that it can pierce even the most self-absorbed veil of superiority to win acknowledgement for it. Bravo to Martin for building something so believeable and meaningful even within a genre one would never expect to find it in.

I wonder how far Martin will go. I am sure beyond a doubt that they will never actually come together in any way. But will he ever get either of them to the point where they can acknowledge romantic feeling for each other? On one hand, I want it-- I want him to make golden, arrogant Jaime Lannister realize that he has come to love, at least after a fashion, that stubborn ugly valiant wench. And I want Brienne to grasp that people are not black and white, that we're complicated when it comes to the measure of our worth, and there can be a good man, a man worth loving, even in a sinner like Jaime. But on the other hand, I feel like resistance to either of them acknowledging it would be in character. Neither would see it as a viable pursuit for their lives, and it's not like either of them wanted to feel that way. But still, the feminist romantic in me wants a moment where they own it, and affirm it to one another. Brienne, at least, has earned the esteem of knowing someone loves her for who she is.

I know there isn't going to be any happy ending for those two, at least not with each other. I fully expect Jaime and Cersei will in fact die together as they were born together, as has been mentioned a time or two in passing. I think Jaime is actually the valonquar, or little brother, that was predicted to kill her by Maggy the Frog, and he will strangle her with his golden hand. The whole thing would probably be most artfully and realistically portrayed if they never really get to any solid resolution of Jaime and Brienne's feelings. But beneath my cold hard exterior beats a squishy squashy pussy heart, and I can't help but want a little something that way.

As a post scriptum, I'm a little sorry about the fact that they cast a good-looking actress as Brienne for the HBO miniseries. I think they picked Gwendoline Christie primarily for her height, and though they'll probably ugly her up some, it bugs me that they chickened out that way. I don't blame them for casting a handsome actor as Tyrion because he's basically perfect and you get the point of his dwarfism anyway, but I love the reversed dynamic with J and B. I am very much looking forward to see how they portray it. I like the actor who plays Jaime, so I expect the interaction will be good.