RSVP etiquette

Now I would like to take a moment to complain about something that has been an issue on several occasions lately. If I am kind enough to extend an invitation to you, particularly to something I have devoted time, effort, and expense to planning, please do me the courtesy of RSVPing. It really isn't difficult, in this age of instant communication in which we live, to send me a quick e-mail or a post on my LJ or Facebook wall or even so little as clicking the damn button on the Anyvite invitation. I will gladly accept a verbal response as well; maybe you forget to write me but if you take the time to have the conversation with me, that's cool. Even if you respond with a "maybe," no problem, 'cause at least it gives me some idea of whether or not you will be attending so I can plan. My events are never open-house mobs where the only refreshment is as much beer as somebody cared to drag along with them; I host carefully planned parties, often with complete dinner spreads, that are designed for the number and nature of the guests I will be having. My space and means are not unlimited, so I can only have so many people. If I have ten spots at my table or room for only thirty in the house, a spot for you is a spot that unfortunately excludes someone else. It is important to me to make sure I have enough for everyone, but it's also preferable that if I only have to spend X per head instead of X+Y, I can do that without worry. If you show, then maybe I don't have enough. If you don't show, then maybe I spent more than I had to trying to make sure you were accomodated. Neither is really fair to me, who is just trying to show you a good time and was denied a basic courtesy.

So, in conclusion, I am hereby considering all invitations to which I do not receive an RSVP as a no and not plan to accomodate them. And then they will no longer have the option of showing up. It's not that I'm uninviting them. If they let me know they're a yes far enough beforehand-- as in, not the day of --they are of course welcome. But it would be the height of poor manners to arrive at a party they did not tell their host they are coming to. I will then give their place away to someone else who actually demonstrates that they want it.

Therefore-- no RSVP, no party for you.