Sunday, August 15, 2010

Weird dream of home

I have been having a recurring dream lately-- remarkable if only because I very, very rarely remember my dreams --about going home to my parents' house. Though I don't realize it, In the dream the house is more like an elegantly-decorated home-themed Mario level than a real house. It's hard to describe, but it's is enormous, with all the structures massively oversized and soaring into the sky, with weird fancy automated functions involving lights and conveniences and things like that. And all the trappings are very elegant, even opulent. Usually in the dream the only thing that registers on me is how nice it is-- in real life, my parents' house is remarkably nice and tastefully appointed. I think I'm going up the enormous, skyscraper stairs trying to find my dad. But this most recent time it was different. The house was the same as in previous iterations, but my brother was there as well. And with him came the awareness was this was not the house the way we'd grown up with it-- it was different and strange, as if they'd changed it, in a remodel or upgrade or something. And Casey was saying to me, "I don't like it here anymore. The changes are all wrong. I don't want to come back here anymore." And then suddenly the house was scary and uncomfortable. I was no longer able to climb the massive moving stairs to get to the highest level in the sky, and suddenly I was afraid of falling. All the automated pieces were dangerous and over-the-top. The hosue didn't seem nice anymore, but too big, overdone, uncomfortable, inaccessable, even likely to hurt me. And I became very acutely aware of the fact, which I guess was consistent from both dreams, that I was unable to find my dad.

My nap today was the first time I'd ever had that version of this dream. I'm not really a believer that dreams have a lot of meaning beyond being random things that happen to be in your brain expressing themselves in weird ways. But I am curious about what brought about the shift in tone of a dream I've already had one rather innocuous way several times.

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