Oh, hey, a role!

The morning before the first Saturday Holmes show, I went to an audition in a tiny theater in Burlington for a production called DREAM, a slightly redited and reimagined version of Midsummer. I was not really feeling it at the time, I was still a little off from the previous night's migraine, but I already had an appointment, so I went. My default female Shakespearean audition monologue these days happens to be Helena's "how happy some o'er other some must be." I know some consider it gauche to try out with a piece from the show at hand. It has the possibility to come off as angling for a particular role, which I know kind of irks me as a director. If you want to be something in particular, just ask me to consider you for it, okay? Don't try to sneak it in like you want me to think it's my idea. Don't try to manipulate me; I'm the director, I manipulate you. Anyway. I had no brain to prepare anything else, so in with Helena I went. I actually thought I did pretty well, considering I wasn't feeling my best, and promptly forgot about it because of Sherlock consuming my brain.

Got an e-mail a few days later from the director saying she liked my audition and hoped to use me, but that she needed to work out the age ranges of the couples. I was slightly surprised by that-- I was just paired romantically with men older than me in Holmes and that worked fine, and as for younger, well, how much younger could you get than me and still be going to auditions without your mom to drive you? So I didn't hear anything for a while-- again, too consumed by Holmes to much care --until on a whim last night I shot the director an e-mail wondering if she'd made any progress on the cast. I got the response this morning, and discovered that she has asked me to play of all characters Helena, the very part I auditioned with.

I was pleased to accept. It's a good part and a fun one. I never expected and I to share a role! I look forward to being a needy, histrionic mess. And the director asked me not to cut my hair this summer so they can make it look really big and create the illusion of height. She did ask me on my way out of the audition how tall I was, a relevant question for a Helena, and admittedly at five-four I am not quite the "tall personage" called for in the script. Physically I am more a short, dark Hermia-type. And here I was looking forward to chopping it all off in a fit of pique. Apparently I am fated to elaborate product-laden updos in the service of theater. I hope I look like a rock star from the 80s. It'll help give me the whole crazy ex vibe. I imagine the whole experience will be quite different from my last turn in Midsummer, where I spent most of my time crawling around like a forest critter and watching people while they slept.

You may recall that creepy thing sneaking up on Bottom, played to perfection by , is me as Puck several years ago. And hey, guess this whole "Phoebe playing women" thing is catching on! This makes cisgendered role number three for me, and only my second Shakespearean woman after Cordelia.

The rehearsal schedule is short and intense, basically running for the month of August. We are to come with already off-book and go, just like we did with To Think of Nothing. That suits me, as I'll get a little over a month to relax and not worry where my next theater fix is coming from. The performances should be at the end of the month or just after.
All that remains, I am told, is to find me a Demetrius. Apparently they don't have one yet. The director said she wants someone short-- whether that means "short for a man" or "shorter than you, Phoebe" I'm not sure --and to send anyone her way who might want to try out. She's going to be hearing people on July 7th, probably at the same little theater in Burlington where I auditioned, so if any of you vertically efficient gentlemen wish to have the experience of me with huge hair clinging to your leg, I can hook you up with the details.