Nobody so far has gotten the vocal similarity thing. It's also technically a reference to that old fan fic. Honestly it was funnier and clearer in the original context, but whatever. I do like the Count Orlock bit, though.
Her guts went cold when the shadow fell over her. Her hair blew out behind her with every beat of the wings. Then, as the creature descended, out stretched the wicked claws, reaching to close around her.
She screamed until she thought her lungs would burst.
“CUT!” Roddy bellowed. “Cut! Beautiful, Lydia! That’s the one we’ll print, you’ll see!”
The claws pulled away as Odo stepped back. He smiled at her, a pleasant smile except for the mouthful of long white fangs.
“Well done, Lydia! The look in your eyes was just perfect. Very realistic!” He had a wonderful voice, charmingly accented and strangely familiar, in sharp contrast to the alien weirdness of the rest of him.
“Ah. Yeah.” She sucked in a deep breath to steady herself. “Thanks, Odo, I… thanks.”
He gave her a friendly nod and turned to talk with Roddy about the scene. Lydia stood there a moment longer, gasping and gaping at the sight of her unusual costar. Claws, teeth, and ivory horns, enormous batwings, leathery skin covered with pebbled scales, corded muscle along long limbs and a coiling, twisting tail. He looked like he should be crouching over a crenellation on the roof of a gothic cathedral.
She was yanked back to reality by Brett the makeup man appearing at her side, taking a hold of her chin and regarding her face critically. After a moment he began dabbing at her with a long-handled brush.
“Hmmm, you’re a lot easier to work on when you have a blank expression of terror.”
Lydia blushed. “It’s not terror! It’s just… surprise.”
“Sure. It’s not like I blame you. I take it you’ve never met one before.”
“A movie monster who’s not a man in a suit? No, never have.” She paused, searching for words that wouldn’t make her sound like a jerk. “It’s… pretty intense.”
“No kidding.” Brett grinned. “Why do you think they want to shoot the scenes where you were screaming your head off right after you first met him? They didn’t want to give the shock a chance to wear off.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
She clammed up suddenly when she saw Odo was coming back over, striding across the set on oversized taloned feet. He inclined his head, the light running sleekly over his horns.
“Ready when you are, miss.”
Again she found herself stumbling over her tongue. “Oh, sure. Just— just a second and I’ll be, well, I’ll be…”
Brett rolled his eyes. “You’ll have to forgive her, Odo, she’s lived a sheltered life up to this point.” He patted her cheek and moved off to attend to other smudged actors.
The monster, however, just chuckled at her. Even his laugh sounded weirdly familiar. “Understandable. I guess we don’t show up much.”
She swallowed hard and tried to collect herself. “How did… how did you get into the movie business?”
He cocked his head thoughtfully, a disconcertingly human gesture of consideration. “Well, I’d always dreamed of being an actor. But of course the right role for fellows like me doesn’t come along very often. At first the only work I could find was as a stagehand, moving heavy sets and props and such around. Sometimes they had me handle some aerial photography. But fortunately there’s always eventually a need for something scary to crawl out of some pit or other.” He smiled again with all those terrible teeth.
“And that’s how you started acting?”
“That’s it. Not the most glamorous stuff, but like most working actors, I had to start off small. I don’t suppose you saw a sophisticated little piece by the name of Beast of Mars?”
“Never heard of it.”
“I’m not surprised. It wasn’t much more than a B-movie. But it does have the distinguishment of being my first title role.”
His demeanor was friendly enough that she was beginning to feel more at ease. She found herself comfortable enough to ask what was bothering her. “But why keep it a secret from everybody?”
He sighed, as if it were something that had weighed on him for some time. “It’s all part of the magic of the movies. Filmmakers look a lot cleverer when the public thinks it was their visionary work that made all those fantastic visual effects come to life.”
She considered that, a little thrown. Odo went on. “Remember that John Malkovich movie, Shadow of the Vampire?”
“Oh, yeah. The one about how Count Orlok in Nosferatu was played by a real… oh, my God. Was he?”
“To be sure. That film was… sort of a test, in a way. It was to see how people would react to the idea, to see if they would find it intriguing or off-putting.”
“What went wrong? I thought people liked that movie.”
Odo clicked his enormous teeth together in a surprisingly delicate gesture. “That wasn’t the problem. Do you happen to remember what happened at the end?”
“You mean… where Shreck eats everyone?”
“Yes, well… that wasn’t a dramatization, so much.”
She grimaced. “Ah.” Sudden fear struck her, and she couldn’t help but look at him with eyes the size of saucers.
He understood immediately and was quick to reassure her. “An isolated incident, I promise you! Most of us in the business have more manners than that! I myself am a vegetarian, if that helps at all.”
A vegetarian? Well, that was… something at least. She exhaled slowly and nodded, trying to look comforted.
Odo cleared his throat. “Anyway, after that, it didn’t seem like such a good idea to tell the public just how real things were.”
“I can see that. You know… Odo… there’s just one thing I can’t get over.” She paused, feeling awkward, but pressed on. “It’s your voice. You know, you sound just like—”
Good-naturedly he laughed. “Yes, good ear. Not everyone notices, you know.”
“Why… why is that?”
“Well, it just so happens he’s an old friend of mine. Wonderful fellow, good-looking, and a terrific actor of course. Back when he was just starting out, the only trouble was, well, he really hasn’t got much of a voice. Squeaky, high-pitched, a real shame in someone so talented. They so wanted to use him, but the voice was a real problem. I was on the crew at the time and looking for acting work, and well, serendipity seems to have struck.”
She gaped at him. “So that was your voice all that time?”
“In every picture! I’ve been overdubbing his lines ever since.” He glanced over his shoulder, shifting his wings out of the way. “But it seems we’re ready to begin again.” He gestured with his broad claw. “Shall we?”
“Well… I guess so!” With another deep breath, she returned to her position of crouched cowering, and gave her scream everything she had.
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