Saturday I threw a "meet the new roommate" dinner at Elsinore. We now have our last roommate Miriam, while Bernie just got a new roommate RJ, so we thought we'd invite them to dinner and make nice. We did it potluck, which was easier on the ol' pocketbook, but tougher on my "I want to control every aspect of the menu so it's up to my quality standards" instinct. It came out pretty tasty anyway, with grilled steaks, brussel sprouts, bread, and other good things. And I didn't have to spend the whole day cooking. I also know Jared has been itching to do social things with all the friends he hasn't seen in three months, so I'm glad he had a good time. After dinner we ate cheesecake and watched Clue-- an excellent thing for me, since I can study it for ideas on how to write my next game. The murder mechanic may be assisted by figuring out how it occurred int he film and trying to simulate that somehow. We're still figuring it out.
Sunday I piled Jared, Bernie, and Emma into my car and drove to Lunenburg to attend an excellent board gaming party thrown by Matt and Lise. I really don't get to see them enough, so I was very excited for this get-together. I only played one game but I liked being with people even more. I had a very nice time talking to Vicky, with whom I clearly don't seem to do that enough. And Lise and Matt served delicious beef shish kebobs; I think I must get the recipe. Unfortunately Jared and I couldn't stay for more than a few hours, because he had promised to help out Hold Thy Peace at the Activities Fair.
Again, I am extremely proud of HTP's new e-board. They were right there giving their all for the entire Fair, and they roped in quite a few names on the mailing list as well as the audition sheet for Romeo and Juliet. I signed up, though I haven't decided what piece to audition with. Or what to say on my casting questionnaire-- if anything in particular. It makes me glad to see so many people going out; it increases the chances of getting real talent, and means we won't be so pressed for just the simple number of necessary actors.
So, after all that, I am tired. I think I am going to spend the evening tonight at home recharging. I need some unscheduled time for a little while. Too long without it and I start losing equilibrium.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Last Thursday and Friday
Gah, busy last several days, and I am beat. A quick recap of where I have been and what I have been doing that has interrupted my normal stream of self-involved ramblings, larp-related babbling, and occasional cooking reports. Posted in bursts due to length and variety of subject.
Thursday I went with Bernie to the wedding of one of his cousins in New York. Their respective parts of the family are not very close, and he wanted me to come along as somebody to talk to. It was an Orthodox Jewish wedding, which meant Phoebe had to put her midriff away and study up a little on the customs so as to not appear quite as much the ignorant heathen she is. As a matter of fact, I was a lot more comfortable than I expected to be-- between my research and the knowledge I absorbed through living at Brandeis, I could more or less follow everything that was happening around me. It was actually pretty interesting and fun. Honestly due to the mechitza I probably spent less time with Bernie than with his mother, but as I said their family didn't really know anyone else, so I was glad I could be a friend for her. I even danced the hora. :-) That was fun, though the bride didn't go up in the chair. Also, I saw some of the ugliest dresses I've ever seen in my life. Picture nineteenth century gowns crossed with prom dresses. There's Orthodox modesty gone formal for you. I felt like a stylish panther lurking among dowdy sheep. ;-) Oh! I almost forgot the best part. A lady at the table at the reception struck up a conversation with me, asking me about the Jewish community back in my hometown. I knew the answers, so I told her-- Allentown has quite a few Jews, but most of them are more cultural than religious. Chabad is somewhere, but not all that much of a presence. She said, "Oh, so you didn't grow up with much religion, then?" I smiled and told her, "Actually, I'm Catholic." She was taken slightly aback. "Oh!" she said. "You don't look Catholic." Heehee. Was it the lack of stigmata that fooled her? Maybe that I put my plaid miniskirt away. Or perhaps she would have expected a Roman among the Chosen to be an ignorant shiksa. I'm sure what she meant is "You don't sound Catholic," but I am delighted to have disabused that notion, if that's the case. I am quite proud of myself for passing, seeing as typically they know me on sight. I am still not sure what gave me away at the kosher butcher shop, where the older Jewish lady snappishly told her husband to "Ask the shiksa to move!" I really did not want to be the screamingly obvious ignorant outsider, and I'm proud to say mission accomplished.
After we got back after a long drive through the rain, we rushed to the freshmen orientation event where Hold Thy Peace had been asked to perform some scenes and monologues. I was really proud of Jared, Elana, and Steph for getting it all together, and all the acts that went up looked and sounded great. It was too loud and unstructured a venue for this sort of thing, but they made the best of things and I was very impressed. Jared is so talented, I hope he gets a little more confidence in himself soon. He has a tendency to assume the worst in a lot of situations, but he always comes through in the end-- his performance was everything I hoped it would be.
Next-- a dinner, a party, and auditions for Romeo and Juliet.
Thursday I went with Bernie to the wedding of one of his cousins in New York. Their respective parts of the family are not very close, and he wanted me to come along as somebody to talk to. It was an Orthodox Jewish wedding, which meant Phoebe had to put her midriff away and study up a little on the customs so as to not appear quite as much the ignorant heathen she is. As a matter of fact, I was a lot more comfortable than I expected to be-- between my research and the knowledge I absorbed through living at Brandeis, I could more or less follow everything that was happening around me. It was actually pretty interesting and fun. Honestly due to the mechitza I probably spent less time with Bernie than with his mother, but as I said their family didn't really know anyone else, so I was glad I could be a friend for her. I even danced the hora. :-) That was fun, though the bride didn't go up in the chair. Also, I saw some of the ugliest dresses I've ever seen in my life. Picture nineteenth century gowns crossed with prom dresses. There's Orthodox modesty gone formal for you. I felt like a stylish panther lurking among dowdy sheep. ;-) Oh! I almost forgot the best part. A lady at the table at the reception struck up a conversation with me, asking me about the Jewish community back in my hometown. I knew the answers, so I told her-- Allentown has quite a few Jews, but most of them are more cultural than religious. Chabad is somewhere, but not all that much of a presence. She said, "Oh, so you didn't grow up with much religion, then?" I smiled and told her, "Actually, I'm Catholic." She was taken slightly aback. "Oh!" she said. "You don't look Catholic." Heehee. Was it the lack of stigmata that fooled her? Maybe that I put my plaid miniskirt away. Or perhaps she would have expected a Roman among the Chosen to be an ignorant shiksa. I'm sure what she meant is "You don't sound Catholic," but I am delighted to have disabused that notion, if that's the case. I am quite proud of myself for passing, seeing as typically they know me on sight. I am still not sure what gave me away at the kosher butcher shop, where the older Jewish lady snappishly told her husband to "Ask the shiksa to move!" I really did not want to be the screamingly obvious ignorant outsider, and I'm proud to say mission accomplished.
After we got back after a long drive through the rain, we rushed to the freshmen orientation event where Hold Thy Peace had been asked to perform some scenes and monologues. I was really proud of Jared, Elana, and Steph for getting it all together, and all the acts that went up looked and sounded great. It was too loud and unstructured a venue for this sort of thing, but they made the best of things and I was very impressed. Jared is so talented, I hope he gets a little more confidence in himself soon. He has a tendency to assume the worst in a lot of situations, but he always comes through in the end-- his performance was everything I hoped it would be.
Next-- a dinner, a party, and auditions for Romeo and Juliet.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Hungry-monster
I swear, I am a small animal that when hungry cannot think of anything other than food until the hunger-beast is satisfied.
Seriously. BRAIN EATEN BY HUNGRY. I told you the stomach was the center of my universe.
Seriously. BRAIN EATEN BY HUNGRY. I told you the stomach was the center of my universe.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Musings on Festival of the Larps
Still have larping very much on the brain-- more so than usual, even. :-) I want to get to work writing more games, and I want to make plans to run more games. As I mentioned, I finally got Oz bid for Intercon, which I'd been meaning to do for a while. So naturally that got me thinking about other cons, which turned my thoughts to Festival of the Larps.
I'm incredibly proud of the Brandeis community for putting on its own larp con. First of all, let me say I think everyone involved puts up a fantastic show. It's well-organized, well-put together, and well-run, such that I feel that we impress and show a good time to anyone who attends wherever they're from. I even feel like quality has increased along with the number attendees, which is pretty awesome if you think about it. Festival con com, you guys are fantastic and you knock it out of the park every time. And more than that, Festival, beyond just being the con we host, is our con. For me, that means I feel like I am welcome and encouraged to be involved. I know a new game I want to debut will be welcome. I will have plenty of my people there that I want to share the experience with, people whose games I want to be in and who want to be in mine. "You wrote a new game? I want to play in it. I care that it does well." It really means a lot to me that people have signed up for my games just because I wrote them-- some because they care about me and want my games to go well for my sake, and some because my name was enough of an indication to them that it would be a game worth playing. Those are both really great things that you get most easily at a con made up of your people that feels like your own.
One thing that's always made me smile is that people are so encouraging of the emergence of new larp writers from the Brandeis community. I was introduced to larping by zapf*, for which I am forever in his debt, and at that time, he was the newest writer to come out on the Brandeis scene. When I came out with Alice, that title passed to me, and I think it was mine for quite a long time. It was finally claimed by jh1230* and kamianya* when they debuted GM Space. If I've got the current state of things, it now belongs to Bernie, lightgamer*, and witticaster* for their work on Paranoia: Research and Dismemberment. And now morethings5* has an idea for a game in the works, and when it comes out, the title will go to him. I like this sense of, I don't know, congratulation there is for people who actually go for it and get into writing larps for the first time. I feel like the fact that we have Festival as such a willing host for our new games really contributes to this.
I kind of wish I had more to do with the putting on of the con, but to be honest, the contribution I really want to make is the bringing of games. I want to bring lots of good games to Festival and run them so that people who come to the con get the experience they came for. :-) I really really love Festival, you know.
I'm incredibly proud of the Brandeis community for putting on its own larp con. First of all, let me say I think everyone involved puts up a fantastic show. It's well-organized, well-put together, and well-run, such that I feel that we impress and show a good time to anyone who attends wherever they're from. I even feel like quality has increased along with the number attendees, which is pretty awesome if you think about it. Festival con com, you guys are fantastic and you knock it out of the park every time. And more than that, Festival, beyond just being the con we host, is our con. For me, that means I feel like I am welcome and encouraged to be involved. I know a new game I want to debut will be welcome. I will have plenty of my people there that I want to share the experience with, people whose games I want to be in and who want to be in mine. "You wrote a new game? I want to play in it. I care that it does well." It really means a lot to me that people have signed up for my games just because I wrote them-- some because they care about me and want my games to go well for my sake, and some because my name was enough of an indication to them that it would be a game worth playing. Those are both really great things that you get most easily at a con made up of your people that feels like your own.
One thing that's always made me smile is that people are so encouraging of the emergence of new larp writers from the Brandeis community. I was introduced to larping by zapf*, for which I am forever in his debt, and at that time, he was the newest writer to come out on the Brandeis scene. When I came out with Alice, that title passed to me, and I think it was mine for quite a long time. It was finally claimed by jh1230* and kamianya* when they debuted GM Space. If I've got the current state of things, it now belongs to Bernie, lightgamer*, and witticaster* for their work on Paranoia: Research and Dismemberment. And now morethings5* has an idea for a game in the works, and when it comes out, the title will go to him. I like this sense of, I don't know, congratulation there is for people who actually go for it and get into writing larps for the first time. I feel like the fact that we have Festival as such a willing host for our new games really contributes to this.
I kind of wish I had more to do with the putting on of the con, but to be honest, the contribution I really want to make is the bringing of games. I want to bring lots of good games to Festival and run them so that people who come to the con get the experience they came for. :-) I really really love Festival, you know.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Oz bid for Intercon
Getting back from the most recent run of Alice has galvanized me for larp running. I shamelessly plugged Intercon while I was there, a con that a handful of them go to regularly but many did not know much about. I said if they enjoyed Alice, they should come play Oz, which I want to run there at J. And then it occurred to me that I never actually got around to bidding it yet. :-) So I just did. This game has yet to leave Brandeis, and given how positive this experience of taking Alice to Chicago was, I am interested in expanding my player base as much as possible. This is actually part of the beauty of Intercon-- the whole reason Alice got invited out to Chicago was because people from far away had a chance to play it at Intercon that they normally wouldn't have. And they went home and told their friends about it, and their enjoyment lead to this opportunity.
I also took a look at the other games that have already been approved. The ones I am currently most interested in include The Last Seder and Survivors of the Naronic. I've wanted to play The Last Seder ever since AE wrote it, but I seem to miss it due to another committment every goddamn times it runs. With my luck it'll go up during Oz. Ah, well, here's hoping. As for Survivors, it's a Brit game. I loved both Railways and Respectability and All's Well That Ends, so I'm inclined to expect good things from this one. I could really go for a good Steampunk game. Apparently its sequel, Ghosts of Urquhart, is also running, but I'd rather play the original first. There is also a Jungle Book-themed game-- the third installment of Will Wagner's Grimm Tales series --and I'm a huge Kipling fan, but honestly the little information there is about it doesn't wow me. I have a preference for doing filling three slots a con and leaving the rest of my time free, so if I could get into Last Seder, Survivors, and run Oz, that might just be perfect.
I also took a look at the other games that have already been approved. The ones I am currently most interested in include The Last Seder and Survivors of the Naronic. I've wanted to play The Last Seder ever since AE wrote it, but I seem to miss it due to another committment every goddamn times it runs. With my luck it'll go up during Oz. Ah, well, here's hoping. As for Survivors, it's a Brit game. I loved both Railways and Respectability and All's Well That Ends, so I'm inclined to expect good things from this one. I could really go for a good Steampunk game. Apparently its sequel, Ghosts of Urquhart, is also running, but I'd rather play the original first. There is also a Jungle Book-themed game-- the third installment of Will Wagner's Grimm Tales series --and I'm a huge Kipling fan, but honestly the little information there is about it doesn't wow me. I have a preference for doing filling three slots a con and leaving the rest of my time free, so if I could get into Last Seder, Survivors, and run Oz, that might just be perfect.
Midwest success
Well, I am back from Chicago, and I am well pleased. I am delighted to report that the fourth run of Alice went beautifully, and we met some great people who were both nice and interesting as well as fantastic roleplayers. The summary is that the game was well-recieved, well-played, and I feel very good about it.
The gaming culture out there in the Chicago area is a little different, I've discovered. For example, they believe that the less you need to involve the GM in the running of the game, the better. Fortunately Alice is meant to basically run itself, but Jared and I spent even less time than usual running around to answer player needs. It was slightly disconcerting, but it did allow Jared to play his NPC with less interruption, and me more time to watch all the lovely goings-on. :-) Also, they have a sensibility of it being slightly bad form to check one's character sheet during the game. They like to make miniature cheat sheets that they can tuck into their pockets, or inside a book or a hat, so that they break the immersion as little as possible. It's interesting to learn these things.
As for what happened, these are clearly some smart and talented people. I love when they surprise me, whether it's coming up with new interpretation of their characters, or trying unexpected ways of accomplishing their goals. This was also the first time I cast a Charlie I didn't already know. But this guy, Rex Balboa, really understood the character and did a fantastic job. JR Cillian Green, the guy who played the Dodo, was fantastic as well, translating the character's bitterness into a fantastic sarcasm and ironic cynicism. He also gets bonus points for his describing Wonderland as "a Mobius strip of stupid" and calling another character "pants-on-head retarded." For a Yahtzee-ism, he had to get a hug. Anandi Gandolfi as the Queen of Hearts was great, nailing the character with just the right intensity-- and she not only actually made sex happen in the game, she had a threesome and an orgy! I salute you, my lady. Kelly O'Donoghue played the Mock Turtle in a completely unexpected way, trying to protect herself by making herself useful to everyone with power she could find. That is a fun lady right there, full of personality and incredibly interesting to talk to. I'd love to have her in a game again. Hell, pretty much everyone I'd love to have in a game again. And hey, the Lion survived! He's never done that before. :-) The Jabberwock still, however, has yet to get out of a run alive.
I confess, I had moments where I was watching an interaction while giggling in the corner, to the point where I had to tell the amused players, "Ignore the giggling GM! She and her giggling aren't here!"
Doug and Gail, the couple who facilitated everything, were fantastic hosts. Doug also told me about a theory of casting I'd never heard before that actually seems really useful to the process. I thought he was referring to the Gamer-Narrativist-Simulationist theory, but this is something even more basic that is helpful for figuring out how to cast the people you've got signed up. He said people fall somewhere within the boundaries of the Roleplayer-Actor-Problem Solver triangle. He used a murder mystery context as the example. The Roleplayer as the murderer isn't going to want to get caught, because of course the character wouldn't. The Actor as the murderer wants to get caught, so he can play out that confrontation as a dramatic scene. The Problem Solver would rather be the detective all together so he can work out the mystery. Most players are some combination of all three with leanings toward one side or another. I would say I'm mostly an Actor, but there's definately indications of Roleplayer and Problem Solver in me. I may use this in the future when the casting gets tough, as so often lately it does.
So, all in all, a most excellent experience. And one I'm very proud to say I have had.
The gaming culture out there in the Chicago area is a little different, I've discovered. For example, they believe that the less you need to involve the GM in the running of the game, the better. Fortunately Alice is meant to basically run itself, but Jared and I spent even less time than usual running around to answer player needs. It was slightly disconcerting, but it did allow Jared to play his NPC with less interruption, and me more time to watch all the lovely goings-on. :-) Also, they have a sensibility of it being slightly bad form to check one's character sheet during the game. They like to make miniature cheat sheets that they can tuck into their pockets, or inside a book or a hat, so that they break the immersion as little as possible. It's interesting to learn these things.
As for what happened, these are clearly some smart and talented people. I love when they surprise me, whether it's coming up with new interpretation of their characters, or trying unexpected ways of accomplishing their goals. This was also the first time I cast a Charlie I didn't already know. But this guy, Rex Balboa, really understood the character and did a fantastic job. JR Cillian Green, the guy who played the Dodo, was fantastic as well, translating the character's bitterness into a fantastic sarcasm and ironic cynicism. He also gets bonus points for his describing Wonderland as "a Mobius strip of stupid" and calling another character "pants-on-head retarded." For a Yahtzee-ism, he had to get a hug. Anandi Gandolfi as the Queen of Hearts was great, nailing the character with just the right intensity-- and she not only actually made sex happen in the game, she had a threesome and an orgy! I salute you, my lady. Kelly O'Donoghue played the Mock Turtle in a completely unexpected way, trying to protect herself by making herself useful to everyone with power she could find. That is a fun lady right there, full of personality and incredibly interesting to talk to. I'd love to have her in a game again. Hell, pretty much everyone I'd love to have in a game again. And hey, the Lion survived! He's never done that before. :-) The Jabberwock still, however, has yet to get out of a run alive.
I confess, I had moments where I was watching an interaction while giggling in the corner, to the point where I had to tell the amused players, "Ignore the giggling GM! She and her giggling aren't here!"
Doug and Gail, the couple who facilitated everything, were fantastic hosts. Doug also told me about a theory of casting I'd never heard before that actually seems really useful to the process. I thought he was referring to the Gamer-Narrativist-Simulationist theory, but this is something even more basic that is helpful for figuring out how to cast the people you've got signed up. He said people fall somewhere within the boundaries of the Roleplayer-Actor-Problem Solver triangle. He used a murder mystery context as the example. The Roleplayer as the murderer isn't going to want to get caught, because of course the character wouldn't. The Actor as the murderer wants to get caught, so he can play out that confrontation as a dramatic scene. The Problem Solver would rather be the detective all together so he can work out the mystery. Most players are some combination of all three with leanings toward one side or another. I would say I'm mostly an Actor, but there's definately indications of Roleplayer and Problem Solver in me. I may use this in the future when the casting gets tough, as so often lately it does.
So, all in all, a most excellent experience. And one I'm very proud to say I have had.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Casey's birthday
Happy birthday to my brother Casey, who is twenty years old today.
God, it's hard to think of that guy as twenty. A twentieth birthday spent with his girlfriend in New Jersey sounds way too old to be my little brother.
God, it's hard to think of that guy as twenty. A twentieth birthday spent with his girlfriend in New Jersey sounds way too old to be my little brother.
Friday, August 21, 2009
PSA regarding this LiveJournal
Just a little heads-up to those of you that read this journal that might be helpful in the future.
I love journal tags. I just love them, and I put a lot of care into tagging my entries, not only just to gratify my compulsive need to categorize, but also so that you, dear readers, know what the substance of my writing for that particular selection is. When I tag an entry with "introspection," that means I'm talking about myself or something about the workings of me. Maybe the meaning of that tag isn't as intuitive as I thought it would be, but my intention was for it to denote when I was talking about things that are intrinsic to me, things that come from inside of me.
Me. As in, not you. So, if you see that, you can stop wondering.
If that tag's not there and you're not sure? Ask me. We're all adults here. I just love adult conversations; they're a nice change of pace. Then you don't have to wonder, and consequentially bring about any of those things that so often accompany wondering and complicate my life in ways you probably did not expect them to but still I do not desire to deal with.
Not that I'm criticizing, I understand the impulse-- I am probably more self-centered than you are. But see, that means chances are I'm going to be focusing on myself. So, dear readers, please err on the side of assuming it isn't about you.
Heh. Except for this one. This one is about you. ;-)
Much obliged.
I love journal tags. I just love them, and I put a lot of care into tagging my entries, not only just to gratify my compulsive need to categorize, but also so that you, dear readers, know what the substance of my writing for that particular selection is. When I tag an entry with "introspection," that means I'm talking about myself or something about the workings of me. Maybe the meaning of that tag isn't as intuitive as I thought it would be, but my intention was for it to denote when I was talking about things that are intrinsic to me, things that come from inside of me.
Me. As in, not you. So, if you see that, you can stop wondering.
If that tag's not there and you're not sure? Ask me. We're all adults here. I just love adult conversations; they're a nice change of pace. Then you don't have to wonder, and consequentially bring about any of those things that so often accompany wondering and complicate my life in ways you probably did not expect them to but still I do not desire to deal with.
Not that I'm criticizing, I understand the impulse-- I am probably more self-centered than you are. But see, that means chances are I'm going to be focusing on myself. So, dear readers, please err on the side of assuming it isn't about you.
Heh. Except for this one. This one is about you. ;-)
Much obliged.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Alice, about to go Midwest
I have inadvertently started Facebook-stalking Banquo. At least, his photo albums. The guy is ridulously attractive.
Speaking of attractive people, this coming weekend I go to Chicago to be with Jared and to run Alice for the local larping community. Let me tell you, preparing for that has been a learning experience-- specifically a lesson in humility and persistence.
As arrogant as it sounds, I am accustomed to my games filling up immediately, enthusiastically, with a waitlist well over capacity. For the first three runs, people fought to get into Alice, and any dropped place was instantly taken over by someone delighted to have it. Hell, I think at one point the Festival run of Oz had enough people waitlisted for an entire second game. I don't know if it's because I have plenty of kind and willing friends, or if my name is enough at this point to convince people that they're going to have a good time. This, by contrast, was a lot less easy. This will be the first run of Alice to run under maximum. Two characters had to be cut, while two more will be NPCed. Only recently did we even hit minimum. I can tell you, that was certainly a depressing feeling. I felt like I'd failed, like my game wasn't so welcome and well-recieved after all, like I wasn't ready to step out onto a larger stage than just my local community, and I was worried that I'd have to cancel it and lose the whole experience entirely. Fortunately we've got enough to run, and I have figured out the way to make it work with fewer than twenty-seven characters. It was tough, and it doesn't feel as good as I want it to, but I fixed it.
As bad as I felt, this is a good experience for me. Now I know that I have to work harder in a place where I don't have credit already built up. I have to step it up if I'm going to be a presence in bigger ponds than the one I come from. Also, this will teach me to be flexible, to find ways to make games work and work well in less than ideal situations. I have adjusted Alice to function under the current set of circumstances, and I think it's going to come out just fine. My records don't like gaps the player shortage puts in them, but that I'll just have to get over. In the end, I will be a better GM for it.
And who knows? If this goes well, perhaps I'll be invited back, whether to run Alice again or to bring other games. And maybe then the people who liked this first one will tell everyone that the experience is good, and so more people will be more enthusiastic about playing in my games. And then I won't have to run under maximum anymore.
So this is a positive experience. I should be making the most of it, even if it's not exactly what I wanted.
Speaking of attractive people, this coming weekend I go to Chicago to be with Jared and to run Alice for the local larping community. Let me tell you, preparing for that has been a learning experience-- specifically a lesson in humility and persistence.
As arrogant as it sounds, I am accustomed to my games filling up immediately, enthusiastically, with a waitlist well over capacity. For the first three runs, people fought to get into Alice, and any dropped place was instantly taken over by someone delighted to have it. Hell, I think at one point the Festival run of Oz had enough people waitlisted for an entire second game. I don't know if it's because I have plenty of kind and willing friends, or if my name is enough at this point to convince people that they're going to have a good time. This, by contrast, was a lot less easy. This will be the first run of Alice to run under maximum. Two characters had to be cut, while two more will be NPCed. Only recently did we even hit minimum. I can tell you, that was certainly a depressing feeling. I felt like I'd failed, like my game wasn't so welcome and well-recieved after all, like I wasn't ready to step out onto a larger stage than just my local community, and I was worried that I'd have to cancel it and lose the whole experience entirely. Fortunately we've got enough to run, and I have figured out the way to make it work with fewer than twenty-seven characters. It was tough, and it doesn't feel as good as I want it to, but I fixed it.
As bad as I felt, this is a good experience for me. Now I know that I have to work harder in a place where I don't have credit already built up. I have to step it up if I'm going to be a presence in bigger ponds than the one I come from. Also, this will teach me to be flexible, to find ways to make games work and work well in less than ideal situations. I have adjusted Alice to function under the current set of circumstances, and I think it's going to come out just fine. My records don't like gaps the player shortage puts in them, but that I'll just have to get over. In the end, I will be a better GM for it.
And who knows? If this goes well, perhaps I'll be invited back, whether to run Alice again or to bring other games. And maybe then the people who liked this first one will tell everyone that the experience is good, and so more people will be more enthusiastic about playing in my games. And then I won't have to run under maximum anymore.
So this is a positive experience. I should be making the most of it, even if it's not exactly what I wanted.
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