You know what, I actually sort of like my new job. At least, I like it a lot better than my old one. I'm helping out an office manager in a technological security company called Integralis, and I am actually kind of surprised to find I enjoy it much more than working at the educational non-profit I used to. I was not expecting to like the more corporate atmosphere better than the laid-back one at the non-profit, nor to find it easier to work with practical business-minded people as opposed to ivory tower intellectuals. I think it's because I'm very oriented towards getting things done, and they are much better about that here. I also feel more useful and respected, as there's a lot more they need me to do, and I am actually trusted to do things that matter and given some actual agency to get them done. If I need to contact somebody, I can contact them without necessarily having to check with somebody first. If I need to purchase something to get a job done, I am not only trusted with the credit information but also to use it judiciously. On top of that, I am getting more hours than before at a better pay rate, so it would have a big thing in its favor even if everything else were the same.
I have come to realize that if I ever am able to do my true "work" as my profession, or even my primary one, it will probably not be until later in life. I am a writer, and it can take ages to make it, if you ever do, such that you are paid a living for what you write. That means that in order to be this thing that I know I am, I am probably going to spend most of my life with a job that is just a job and not my true vocation. But it's nice to know that if that's the way it has to be, I can feel okay in the jobs I will have to have.
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