Idiot savant

Yesterday I decided the best way to handle how quickly my iPhone runs out of juice is to just pack my extra power cord in my bag and so any time I'm near an outlet I can charge up if I need to. I tried out this genius idea at rehearsal last night, which worked like a charm. Of course, I ended up leaving the goddamn thing plugged into the wall when I left like the space cadet that I am, and had to beg Elana to grab it for me before the end of the night. Naturally, all my great acts of genius are balanced out by something mind-numbingly moronic a brief time later.

Happy birthday Elana!

Today is the twenty-first birthday of linearequation, my lovely Madam Director and the best Guildenstern anybody ever could have asked for. Wish her love and wonder!

Sleep solution

One thing I'm grateful for is that sleeping resets me. I usually feel better when I wake up. Of course, this tendency may contribute to the unusual amount I'm sleeping. The more bad feeling I need to get rid of, the more often I sleep.

Have I mentioned I'm sleeping a lot lately?

Don't want to deal

In Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis talks about how he had always been inclined toward sacrificing all aspects of a state of being, both positive and negative, than having to endure anything negative about that state of being at all. He preferred, for example, abject neglect by others if it meant no mistreatment or interference; he preferred blandness to offensiveness even if it meant nothing of interest; in short, he would give up all possibility of anything positive as long as it meant avoiding a particular negative.

Lately I have been in something akin to that state fairly frequently. I have had no capacity to handle anything troublesome lately. Well, that's not exactly true. I have been technically able to, but when things arise that I will have to handle, it just makes me feel utterly overwhelmed and desirous of doing anything to avoid it. I have just been subsumed into an overall state of "not wanting to deal." I have been avoiding people rather than putting myself into frustrating interactions. The slightest complication to my life has sent me seeking some escape. I'm worried this is why I've been sleeping more, and why I've been wanting so much time alone. Having nothing to deal with means nothing negative to deal with, but at the expense of anything positive.

This worries me because I am concerned of what really important things this will drive me to avoid rather than confront. It also worries me because I'm concerned about what this desire to avoid will drive me to do.

Getting going

Been feeling a little bit low-energy lately, and sleeping more hours than I normally do. Yesterday, despite a pleasantly low-key day spent mostly alone, I think I slept ten hours at night and two more in a nap. Hoping to avoid feeling so sleepy today, I rose early and took a scaldingly hot shower. I actually do feel better now; maybe Jared is right and whenever I feel draggy I should just jump in the shower.

Can't afford to be useless today; I will be attending my first GM meeting with the Labor Wars team. I want to be on the ball so I can contribute and be helpful. I find myself wishing I still had a laptop so I could take it with me to access the wiki and be able to take more efficient notes, but unfortunately while I used to have both, at the moment I only have a desktop. Ah, well, I suppose my trusty gaming notebook will have to suffice. If I need to check out the website, my iPhone will probably suffice.

Also, Oz and Paranoia are now filled for SFS Live Action Weekend at WPI. I am very pleased-- I shall be sending out casting questionnaires shortly, and the preparation process must begin.

Signups going well

Enjoyed going over the the Time Travel Review Board dead dog. It was great to see everyone and just hang out and chat for a while, though I wasn't interested in eating because Jared and I had just made dinner for Sharone, who is in town for Yom Kippur this weekend. I spent most of the evening continually refreshing the web browser on my iPhone to see who is signing up for Oz and Paranoia at WPI Live Action Weekend. Oz already has a full complement (heh) and Paranoia is well on its way. I am pleased, and until everything's full I will still obsessively look after the singups.

Gave myself a little home manicure last night before I went to bed. I've never had enough nails before to need one, so I had to do a little research on the Internet to teach myself how to do it. I didn't do anything fancy, just file, buff, and oil, using the supplies generously given to me for my last birthday by ultimatepsi. I had a little spur on my left pointer nail that I wanted to see if I could file down without breaking the whole nail off. They came out imperfectly but not bad; I like how smooth and shiny the buffer made them. I may just achieve attractive nails yet.

Schedule-building

Ah, so very much to put on my calendar. I suppose it's better to be busy than to have nothing to do, but it just seems like more and more keeps coming up.

I just found out there will be a game running at Brandeis in the middle of RPI weekend, which adds another quandary to that time period. It's certainly easier to just play a game that's on my doorstep, but I wonder if it isn't more important to make the gesture of coming out to game with all the people who regularly come out to game with us. I am definitely resolved to not run anything at RPI, I think I don't need the extra responsibility, but I still have not resolved as to whether I can attend or not.

As for WPI's event, due to some scheduling issues with my fellow GMs, Paranoia had to be moved to Sunday November 15th at the last moment, but I think everything's settled now. Now I can play in Chateau Ennui. My plan at the moment, as my calendar reads, will be Oz Friday night, Bard of Avalon Saturday afternoon, Chateau Saturday night, and Paranoia Sunday afternoon. I think that's a reasonable docket.

Signups for this weekend open at 7PM tonight. Just go to this address, and make sure that, if you haven't played in Oz or Paranoia, you get your name in there early. :-) Play my games, God damn it!

As a side note, I like the picture of myself as the Fool in this icon. It has a strange motion to it, and I like the artificial color the stage makeup gives me. Makes me look almost like a china doll.

Slew o' userpics

Was suddenly overcome with the desire to upload more userpics. I went to more of my pictures of myself as Puck and the Fool. The Puck pictures are fun because of the interesting body positions, sharp colors, and cool makeup. The Fool pictures I use because of how expressive they are. I name all the Puck ones "Puck 1" and "Puck 2" and so forth because they're mostly just variations on a theme, but each one of the Fool shows a different feeling or emotional state, so they get names like "Ranting Fool" and "Tired Fool" and "Cavalier Fool" and "Cool Fool."

Heh. Thinking about it now, I must say I believe the Fool was the best performance I ever gave on stage. Thank you, Frances, for giving that to me.

That said, instead I give you Puck and His Fine, Fine Ladies. Fairy pimpin', yo.

Capturing Paris

Had my first blocking rehearsal for Romeo and Juliet last night, and I enjoyed it very much. I'm liking this character, Count Paris, but I think he is going to take a little while to really get a handle on. I've played more than my share of men on stage before, but I believe this is the first time I've ever played a character that required this particular kind of "model of a man" masculine presence. Paris is supposed to be an attractive, powerful, highly admirable example of masculinity. I know I can be a small and perhaps slightly delicate man. Can I be a handsome alpha male? That's a little tough when your Juliet is taller than you.

Contrast my most recent previous male roles-- Fleance, Puck, the Fool, Dromio. A boy who wasn't yet a grown man. A nonhuman presence that didn't need any strong gendering. A flexible presence that was far more defined by personality. A comedic character who wasn't supposed to have any manly authority. It was easier to buy that these character were males who simply weren't "man's men." With Paris, though, you can tell from the way the other characters talk about him that they see him as basically the model of what a man should be-- I think being decidedly masculine is part of that. It's important that I establish him as a figure who would have earned that reputation, and I don't know if just going with the "delicate-featured youth" air is going to cut it. It's going to be a real challenge for me to project that kind of presence, but I'm going to work very hard on it and I am determined to figure it out.

I am so very popular lately

So, as it turns out, I am in demand for more than just WPI Live Action Weekend. I got contacted by Nick Milano from RPI last night asking if I would bring games to the weekend he's trying to put together in Troy, exactly one week after the one at WPI. I am quite flattered to be asked, and I'm tentatively interested, but there's a couple of things I'd have to figure out before I agree.

First of all there's the time committment. Two larping weekends in a row is pretty intense. I think my schedule personally could handle it, but I'd be concerned about people like Jared, who I would want to help me run my games, but has too much work to neglect it for two entire weekend. He's already agreed to come out to at least part of WPI weekend to help run Oz, so that's already a chunk of his time committed. Also there's the travel involved. I have a car, but it's a long way and basically we're committed to be there for the entire time. For WPI at least Jared could come out for one of the days but not for the others because we'd just drive there and back; if he needed to stay home one day, he could. For RPI we'd have to go out to New York and crash there. I suppose we could just find him someplace to work when he needed to, but that's something to consider.

Also, there's the matter of what games I would bring. Nick says there's a ton of people out there who haven't played any of my games, which is good to know, but I wonder if there's anything to know about what kind of games are good to bring to RPI. Nick says they're looking for anything, but still. Also, what makes sense from a logistical standpoint? As I mentioned, just the week before I will be running Oz and Paranoia. Oz is a good possibility because it's easy to fill, but Oz will also be running at Intercon in the fall, so will an addition run so close together be super-saturating people with it? Paranoia is probably not feasible, as it is contingent on enough GMs being able to spend the weekend in Troy. What about Alice? I'd be willing to bring Alice, but would we be able to fill it? How big is the weekend's attendance supposed to be? If Jared can't come, he might not be happy if I ran it without him, and I don't think I want to do it without him anyway.

Ahhh, so many variables. Any insight, suggestions, or input would be very much appreciated.