Because evidently I am a child

It's times like these when I'm forced to conclude that you can't say anything to anyone.

...

You know what, I was just going to stop there all cryptic and punchy, but I'm not going to leave it at that.

I have a favor to ask of everyone. In dealing with me, I very humbly request that you err on the side of assuming that I'm self-aware-- that is, AWARE of things in regards to MYSELF. Please do not point out rather basic "Have you considered doing X" or "Could Y be the problem" because, please trust me, I HAVE THOUGHT OF IT. As I have said recently, I work very hard to clearly and ruthlessly understand myself, and that means I do a lot of self-examination and mulling over things that need dealing with in my life. Anything you can think of in the rare moment that your attention in on my problem, it has almost certainly already occurred to me.

I know people care and are just trying to help. But lately it seems that the general consensus about me is I just sort of sashay through my life not examining anything that arises for me, and if it's a problem maybe I just vaguely wonder why things seem to be all messed up and not, in fact, quietly and privately figure out what the trouble is and what I can do to fix it. It hurts my feelings, frankly feels disrespectful, that people assume that I'm not examining myself, not dealing with my problems, and that I couldn't come up with that stuff on my own. If you could in in an offhand moment bumping up against someone else's life, wouldn't the person whose life it actually is have to be an idiot not to have thought of it themselves?

I don't believe in airing laundry in public. I far and away prefer handling the bumps and snags in my life away from prying eyes. I gather that to some people, just because they don't witness me doing it, the assumption is that I don't actually deal with my problems. This notion is madness to me-- it's nobody's business but my own, and trust me to deal with the things that need dealing with.

So, in summary-- I am not a fool, nor am I a child. Things occur to me. I am under no illusions. It does not mean I have not examined or dealt with some just because I have not shared that process with you. Do me the courtesy, next time something comes up for you like this, of assuming that I am self-aware enough to have, in fact, considered the options and possibilities of whatever it is in my life.

Clarification

Since this has actually come up several times recently, I thought I'd clarify what the deal is with my Burn Notice campaign.

The Burn Notice-inspired Spycraft game I am running right now is designed to emulate the circumstances of the show. That means I have a core cast of characters that are meant to represent the characters on the show-- I have a Michael character, a Fiona character, and a Sam character, plus a Barry character who appears every now and then to do support things. I didn't have an open call for players in this game because it's intended to be an experiment for me-- to see if I can set a tone as a GM that the game will mostly be about roleplaying if I'm surrounded by players I feel comfortable with who feel comfortable with each other. I cast people I knew would not fight with each other or with me in roles I wrote to fit the scenario.

The upshot of all this is that everything is pretty carefully designed; I didn't mean for there to be much flexibility. I didn't mean to exclude anyone who's interested in playing; I just only had a few spots and needed people who would fit my chosen criteria, so I'm sorry if anyone feels left out. But this isn't really a campaign that people can join. That said, I want to bring people in to play recurring characters now and again, and possibly an exception may be able to be made sometime in the near future (I will talk to you if this turns out to be so), but for now, that's kind of the situation. Sorry for anyone who felt left out, I didn't mean to hurt any feelings.

Turkeys!

The family of turkeys I saw at the top of the secret passageway leading into East lot was in my backyard this morning! At least, I think it was the same family, seeing as it was so close, and there was also a mommy turkey, a daddy turkey, and NINE little baby turkeys. That's a big family! They were surprisingly brave little guys, allowing me to get really close to them and not even startling when I delightedly yelled out "Turkeys!" on seeing of them. I love seeing animals, especially wild ones just out and around. I always gush over them like a little kid.

Macbeth

Seeing as my show is now only two weeks away, I should probably now let people know the details so they can make plans.

MACBETH
The Gurnet Theater Project
August 7th-9th and 14th-16th, 5pm nightly
Outdoors At the Myles Standish Monument
Crescent Street, Duxbury, MA

www.gurnettheatre.com/Macbeth.html

Unfortunately, it's about an hour drive from Waltham to Duxbury, so if you're inclined to go, I suggest getting a group together. Come see me play a sixteen-year-old Scottish boy who flies now, but one day shall get kings. :-)

Alone time

Today was a day for Phoebe to be alone. I needed to take care of a few things, but I also just needed some space and quiet so I could just think.

Tomorrow lots of things are happening. A game of Twilight Imperium will be going on at Elsinore. I have rehearsal all the way in Duxbury starting at noon, so unfortunately I won't be able to be there for the first part of the game. It's a shame, not because I have any interest in playing, but because there's a chance that the awesome Mr. Mike Hyde may be attending, and it would be cool to get a chance to hang out with him. I should be back before the end, though. And then, the second session of Burn Notice goes on. I think I'm ready, though I should probably go over things one more time, just to be safe.

I baked three pies for the company, two pumpkin and one apple. I enjoyed it, but it was more work than I expected it to be; the whole process, including the massive amour of cleanup that always follows pie-baking, took three solid hours of work. I've never made that many pies without help before, and it was particularly challenging to roll out and lay on all the crusts without a second set of hands. I'm actually kind of exhausted. But there are now three beautiful pies cooling on he stove for everyone coming tomorrow, so enjoy the fruits of my labors.

I look down and my feet are covered with flour. I look behind me and see little powdery white footprints. I see I have more cleaning to do.

I should go take a shower. Or clean more. But my flour-feet are tired.

On to the next project

So, having completed the second run of Oz and having pretty much everything in order for the upcoming Chicago run of Alice, I find myself needing a new project to focus on. I have my Burn Notice campaign, which will hopefully have its second session this coming Sunday, in the evening after my rehearsal and the Twilight Imperium game that is happening. That of course requires planning ahead of time, buyt as the game runs in installments I can do the prep in installments as well. What I need is another big larp project to get going on. I've got a new plan in the works for a game based off Clue. Now, I know that lots of Clue games exist, but I'm hoping to make this one special by using the blackmail idea from the movie version, and by devising a system to make the murder modular-- that is, to make it so I can change who the culprit is every time, and the players can still use the evidence to deduce their identity. Heh, heh, not sure how I'm going to accomplish this great innovation yet, but hey, it'll be good for me to have a writing issue to work out.

Burn Notice campaign

Been watching a lot of Burn Notice recently. It's a really damn good show. I love the premise of a guy who used to be an international covert operative who's suddenly blacklisted, and forced to make his way doing private operations while trying to figure out who burned him. Makes me want to run a Spycraft campaign with that setup-- a small campaign, like three people, maybe even a solo one, where you have the superspy cababilities but with the most localized setting and challenges, all the while unraveling the larger mystery of who put you out a job. I'd either have one player for the Michael, Sam, and Fiona characters, or I'd just have the Michael and everyone else be NPCs.

The upside of doing better on not biting my nails is that they look a hell of a lot better grown out so nicely. The downside is that they make it a lot harder to type on the keyboard.

Knots

Not sleeping well lately, as you may have gathered by the fact that I'm posting at quarter to 4AM. Very unlike me, as I usually crash at midnight. I'm not sure if all the Snapple I've been pounding has caused such a spike in my caffiene levels, or if my stomach ache is getting to be too much.

I'm stressed lately. Moreso than I had been, now. I have sad feelings over some stuff I've recently had to deal with that has made things significantly worse. The trouble is, these new bad feelings are not reasonable; they are not over anything I have any right to be bothered by. I acknowledge that, I recognize that. I'm quite disgusted with myself that I've gotten to this point at all; I cannot accept such selfishness in myself. But still, I feel bad. I worry that the only way to feel better is to do something selfish, and otherwise my stomach stays in knots.

I'm going to do the right thing. I have to; I couldn't live with myself otherwise. It's better to hurt.

Family tartan

As you may know, most of my family is Italian-American; both of my grandfathers were the sons of Italian immigrants. But my maternal grandmother is Russian, and my paternal one, my Gigi, is half-English, half-Scotch-Irish. My Gigi's mother was a scion of an old Scottish family in Pennsylvania called the Lynns. They're the only even vague connection to class my family has, the rest of us being various varities of European peasant. ;-) The cool thing is, the Lynns, being Scottish, quite old, and at one point the vassals of a family with royal blood, were permitted to wear a particular tartan, which I have come upon:



I actually kind of like it. So technically, being a descendant of the Lynns and with no other superceding Scottish ancestry, I have the right to wear this plaid as my family tartan. :-) Kind of cool, huh?

Not always the enemy

It occurs to me that my efforts in learning to cook are good for helping me deal with my issues with food. And not only in the obvious way of being able to control what goes into what I eat so I feel better about it. Even more importantly, it reminds me that food is beautiful, instead of being the enemy.

Insomniac

Can't sleep. Clown will eat me.

Sometimes I just... don't sleep all night. This was one of those nights. Don't know why.

Bah. Sleep is for the weak. At least the clown didn't eat me.

Great weekend

A lovely weekend with Jared visiting has come and gone, and I am feeling very good. We spent some much-needed quality time together, and had a fabulous second run of Oz.

I was incredibly pleased with how my edits worked out. The new plotline added a lot, and I was very pleased at how the castings worked out. It still needs a few more tweaks, particularly in the mechanics unique to two of the characters, but in general I am happy. And Jared both enjoyed his character and liked the game, so I consider the whole venture a success.

I am considering bidding Oz for Intercon this coming year. It's not exactly thematic, but it hasn't been there before. Might be a fun idea.

Shame issues

One thing I always admired about C.S. Lewis's personal work is how ruthlessly self-analytical he is. I've alluded in this space before to how he is brutally honest about who he is and what he did wrong and what is wrong with him that he made those mistakes.

I pride myself on being a self-aware person; I'm pretty good at realizing what's really going on with me, and I do a good job not letting me lie to myself. So yes, I, like Lewis, tend to know exactly what my problems, flaws, or shortcomings are. Where we differ is that he can tallk about them, confess them to the world-- when he was selfish, when he was weak, stuff like that. For owning up to those, my shame issues get too much in the way.

I'm not talking about "this thing I screwed up and did wrong." Those I try to be upfront about, the mistakes I make, because there's no better way to seem like a dick than to not own up to when you mess up. What I'm talking about is the internal stuff, the things about me that aren't so admirable. When there is something about me that I feel is qualitatively lacking in myself, sometimes I just get so ashamed of it that I have to pretend that part of me doesn't exist. When I feel selfish, or weak, or not as good as I want to be, I hide it, so no one will know I ever was anything so pathetic.

A lot of the time feeling so ashamed of my baser feelings keeps me from acting on them, which I guess is a good thing. But sometimes it leads to me keeping secret the negative stuff I do. It worries me sometimes. I also wonder how people who don't get so ashamed of themselves deal with these stuff.

New friend

I think I've made a new friend through Macbeh rehearsals. His name is Patrick and he plays Ross; he's a talented actor and a really nice guy. He asked me what I was working on one night at rehearsal and I told him about my various gaming projects. He seemed really interested and wants to try larping. I tried to get him into Oz, but until recently he'd had another committment. He's very into improv, so he'd probably be fantastic at it; I hope I get an opportunity to pull him in soon.

Nearly ready...

Ah, I am so close to being completely ready for Oz this Saturday. The packets are stuffed except for a thing here and there, I have sent out the e-mail with the time and location (we're meeting in the Shapiro Campus Center so we can all walk over to the physics building together to begin at 2PM) and then we have a 7PM reservation at the Chateau for the dead dog afterward. If anyone who's already played wants to hang out and watch they are totally welcome, and certainly to join us at the Chateau for dinner.

The only thing that I really need at this point is to borrow an extension cord for a piece of hardware I need to set up for the game. Could anyone possibly lend one to me for that day? It would be very much appreciated. :-)

Oh, by the way-- the name I made the dinner reservation under? "Oz," of course. :-) I love doing that.

First contradance

Went contradancing with morethings5 last night, and got to see captainecchi, electric_d_monk, natbudin, and v_cat. It's something I've been wanting to try for a while, and when Lise mentioned it recently I figured now was a good time. The dancing turned out to be really fun, and not too terribly difficult to pick up. It probably helped that Jonathan very kindly showed me how the steps beforehand, so when the caller called them out, they were a lot easier for me to follow. He was such a good partner. :-) Unfortunately, by the end of the fourth dance I got so dizzy I was slightly motion sick, which worsened with the car ride home, and didn't go away until I finally fell asleep. Blast my so very fragile equilibrium.

Still, it was fun and fantastic exercise. And Nat showed me this really cool iPhone application that helps track calorie intake and burn when you're working out and watching what you eat. I'm thinking it might be worth downloading, at least to get an idea of what sort of numbers attach. I've had weird eating habits in the last week or so, but I have been working out pretty consistently. That reminds me, I need to keep taking weekly pictures to monitor my tummy progress.

Beautiful

I am very fortunate to be a pretty girl. God knows how much I enjoy it and all the ways it makes me happy. I like it very much when other people notice and think so as well. So I've never been terribly distressed to have people stare, or make comments, or randomly hit on me, or even express their appreciation in even ruder ways. Yeah, sometimes it can be disrespectful, or annoying, but I'm usually okay with it because, hey, they wouldn't be doing it if they didn't think I was attractive. It's a nice feeling when someone uninvested tells you you look good.

So, no, I don't really mind it, but sometimes I really don't understand it. I get hit on lots of random places-- on the street, at the grocery store, at malls. I was walking with a friend on Russell Street a while ago, and a car full of jerky boys slowed down to catcall and leer. I laughed and said unthinkingly, "Again? Is Waltham just full of exceptionally tacky people?" She said "it's never happened to me." It happens to me fairly frequently. It happened again earlier this week. Now, I swear I have more of a point than how very difficult the life of a good-looking girl is-- my confusion comes in here. I get it, people like pretty people and want to be around them. What I don't understand is how you can make a play for someone based on no more information than you deem them to be physically attractive.

Because when a guy comes up to you in a food court in a mall and asks for your number, how does he have any idea you're the kind of person he'd actually want to date? How do these random guys know if I'm smart or nice or fun or interesting or anything at all besides pretty? Sure, I have a nice smile and a cute tummy, but do they really want to listen to me talk about larps or watch Law and Order with me? Or are they going to find me hopelessly geeky and way too arrogant? I love looking at the pretty as much as the next deeply shallow girl, but I personally can never really want anything from anyone I'm not already interested in as a person. I don't even particularly like touching people more than normal if I don't have that interest. I guess there's a hope that something might be there-- and as a friend once said to me, though it is what's inside that counts, people are more willing to look for those good things in a person with a good exterior. I'm willing to bet at least some of the people who have had feelings for me because of who I am were at least initially drawn because of what I look like. But I need to get to know a person first before I can have anything to do with him that way, so I'm slightly confused by people who hit on me before they do anything more than see me.

Final preparations

Today Phoebe buckles down to work. I have the first session of my new Burn Notice campaign tomorrow evening, and I promised to have the Oz sheets out by the weekend, so that means I have to nail things down for real. I learned from the most recent run of Alice that it is not a good idea to shoot sheets out without thoroughly checking them over first, which can create a problem with you have them saved in multiple locations that aren't all necessarily up to date. So I'm going over the Oz sheets with a fine-toothed comb, making sure they're set and that I've integrated the new plotline in properly. They just went out an hour ago, and I am very pleased.

I also want to write out my plan for how Burn Notice is going to go. I'm not certain which is more pressing, the sheets or the session, since the one needs to be ready for tomorrow and the other needs to be out with enough notice for people to read beforehand. I pretty much know what's going to happen, but I work best when I have it all laid out in front of me. My brain is a little melty after working most of the day already, but after a break I'm going to jump right in on this. I really want this to go well, so I'm trying to spare no effort.

Full cast!

Hooray, Oz is now full! I am so happy. Casting will happen shortly, and sheets will follow shortly after that. :-)

One slot left

Down to one slot remaining in Oz, thanks to londo for signing on tonight. :-) Still have one more slot. If you happen to know anyone.

Call for players - second run of Oz!

This is an open invitation to fill the two remaining slots in the upcoming run of Oz!

In honor of Jared visiting this July, I am going to be running my larp Oz, and at the moment I have only thirteen out of fifteen confirmed players. It will be at 2PM on Saturday, July 18th, in Waltham with a dead dog at 6PM at a restaurant to be determined. If you respond I'll send you a casting questionnaire, which would be great if I could get back as soon as possible.

The blurb:

In this science fiction reinterpretation of the Wonderful Wizard of Oz, players take on the roles of the soldiers, diplomats, and scientists from various planets in the Oz system, inspired by the events and figures in the L. Frank Baum novels. Since the Yellow Brick Roads were established as paths for ships to follow through hyperspace, travel and commerce throughout the various planets in the Oz System has never been easier or more efficient. The passages between hyperspace and real space may have been unstable, but with the construction of the the Emerald Station people believed that things were headed for a new era of advancement and prosperity. The rise of a system-wide war and the complications that resulted, however, means that Oz must sort out its society's various troubles. Players must deal with the aftermath of the interplanetary conflict as well as their own personal entanglements against the backdrop of scientific phenomenon they are striving to understand.

At this point, it will be first-come, first-serve. I would love to get this game cast and sheets sent out by the weekend, so please, get back to me as soon as possible!

A conversation between me and the boy

Me: I am covered with bruises lately. Where the hell did they all come from?

Jared: Something must be beating you in your sleep.

Me: I must have done something to offend a lot of tiny violent elves that sneak into my room at night. Either that, or it's Moosey (the stuffed moose Jared gave me whose real name is Romeo but I always just call Moosey.)

Jared: Oh, Moosey wouldn't do that. He loves you. Unless you were bad. Then you'd deserve it.

Me: Me, bad? No, I've been good. I'm always good. It must be the elves. Why isn't Moosey defending me from them?

Jared: He's a lover, not a fighter.

Me: But he can still beat me for being bad?

I love parties...

The rage, she is dealt with. I am myself again. :-)

I have had a lovely, action-packed weekend. Fourth of July was spent at the excellent gathering of captainecchi and electric_d_monk. A combination of good company, good food, and lovely hosts made for a wonderful time for me. Many thanks to them. I went with lightgamer and morethings5, who could not have been more fun to be with. It's funny, everytime I go to a party I think, "I love parties! I should throw more of them." So I have gatherings, and they're fun and I'm glad I did them, but they're kind of expensive and labor-intensive, so I say, "Okay, no more hosting for a while." Then I go to another good party and think "I love parties! I should throw more of them." :-) The next day was spent hanging out with Marissa, then an impromptu cookout with her, Kindness, Matt, and the Daves, and later Kindness showed a strange Swedish movie about twelve-year-old vampires. It was interesting and cool; I love weird stuff.

Had my first rehearsal for Macbeth last night. It was nice, we read through the script and met each other. Everyone seemed really nice and talented, and I think I'm going to enjoy working with them. I'm the only one who was cross-cast out of everyone, which I find interesting. I have another rehearsal Thursday night, which makes me sad because if there's BSCF I'll miss it, but whatever.

I should really throw a party... :-)

Stress-reducing frivolity

Still furious. Oh, gentle Jesus, still furious.

 

Have been undertaking efforts toward physical self-improvement. Shallow, perhaps, I should probably be campaigning for emotional or mental self-improvement as a more productive use of my time, but it's quite effective as stress management and that's kind of what I need right now. I've been somewhat stressed out in general recently, and what with a recent jag of frankly blinding rage over a recent occurence, I am a little concerned about falling into my usual response pattern of not eating, not sleeping, and biting the hell out of my nails. So instead, I am making a concentrated effort to take care of myself. I am actually making marked progress toward a healthier and better-looking me, which pleases me and in turn mellows me out-- at least, in general, if not in this very, still rage-blinded instant.

• I have been working out every day, and believe I'm seeing a difference
• I have been eating healthfully and on a regular basis
• I have been drinking more water to remedy my tendency toward chronic dehydration
• I got my hair cut, which it drastically needed, and now it looks fantastic
• I have been treated my acne regularly, and it's actually clearing up a little
• I have been taking care of my skin so that it's soft and smooth
• I have avoided biting my nails, and they actually look nice right now

I'm thinking of adding stretching to increase my knee flexibility, using lip balm on a regular basis, and nailing down an early-to-bed-early-to-rise sleep routine. I should probably add drink fewer truckloads of aspertame-laden diet Snapple and watch fewer hours of mindless television, but let's stick to achieveable goals.

*shaking*

Angry.

So, so angry.

Chores, writing, workout

Today is a day for chores and for writing, honestly the kind of day that leaves me the most contented and at peace. The house is clean, there are fresh sheets on the bed, and the laundry is folded and put away. Now there is just my room to straighten up now; it needs dusted and vaccuumed and wood polished.

Once all that is done, I'm going to settle down to some serious work. I'm going to lay out the first planned session of my Burn Notice game-- Bernie, lightgamer, morethings5, and Marissa will make up my player pool --and once the characters are built, I want to hit the ground running with it. Also, I've finally figured out the extra plotline I think Oz needs, so I'm going to work that out as well, and then write it into the appropriate character sheets. I'm hoping to get a run going when Jared visits the weekend of the 18th, so I need to get it nailed down before then. I'm so glad to have a date finally nailed down for the visit; it's been entirely too long.

I'm enjoying my workout lately, and have been sticking to it pretty well. I think it's helping, but it's a little tough to tell; I'm certainly not quite at the level of definition I want yet. It's a little more than a week after the last tummy shot was taken, but here's the current state of things:

Considering couture

Went to the Natcik Mall yesterday, mostly to have an interesting place to walk around. I'm not a big shopper, but I enjoy walking around places looking at things; it's really good exercise you don't really have to think about. I love how upscale that place is, with so much space to walk in and so many interesting things to look at, even if I don't usually buy anything. I was bitching to my mom about how I hate having to carry a bag around because my iPhone and my now-huge key ring don't fit in my pants pockets as was previously my custom, because I hate having to keep track of it and besides, the damn thing is ugly. She, amused by the fact that the avowed purse-hater is now forced to carry a bag, gave me the go-ahead to go find one that I actually liked and buy it. So, because if I'm going to do the thing I'm going to do it right, I went to the Natick Mall (or, excuse me, Collection) to find one that was actually nice. I'm not thrilled with needing one at all, but I must admit I am quite pleased with the bag I ended up going with. It's a big square leather shoulder bag, buttery soft in a nice warm shade of brown. The lining is kind of hideous, honestly, but nobody has to see that. And it was fairly inexpensive as well due to a bag sale. As much as I don't like having to lug around a bag, I must confess I feel kind of sophisticated carrying it.


In the course of trying to find a suitable bag at a decent price, I wandered all over the mall. And, naturally, being in such a nice mall, I looked at some clothing stores that were incredibly upscale and expensive. One thing that surprised me, which probably means I'm dumb, was that Neiman Marcus has actual haute couture-- Prada, Chanel, Dolce and Gabbana, Gucci, Manolo Blahnik, and more. I confess, I have a passing interest in couture. I'm not exactly sure why; I think it's because I feel like it's important to know how to dress for an occasion, and high fashion at least theoretically represents that concept elevated to its highest form. And naturally, since I admire superlatives in most any craft, I am curious as to what counts particularly in something that has to do with another of my deepest fascinations, the art of looking good. :-) Of course, it's remarkable how often these things are incredibly ugly, as if the label alone is enough to render them appealing. Also, it's too easy to find pretty things that don't cost hundreds of dollars per article, ESPECIALLY if they're ugly! I can't say I like the look of the famous Coach pattern, or the way Chanel stamps that stupid double-C logo over everything to the point where it pretty much disfigures the item. I'm not sure what the difference between a five hundred dollar pair of Blahniks and a, say, two hundred dollar pair of a lower-end brand, especially when I think all of this year's Blahniks are incredibly tacky-looking. I've recently gotten into Sex and the City and have very complicated feelings about it (the subject of another entry entirely) but that is where I learned most of what I know about haute couture, and sometimes the sheer badness-to-expense ratio is mind-blowing. "BAD fashion!" I yell at the TV. "BAD! No cookie!"

Unlike my taste in jewelry, I have never been very particular or at least snobbish about clothes. Being blessed with a nice figure that is easy to dress to advantage, I've always been able to slide into just about anything that fits and look cute in it-- twenty-dollar junk from Target really suits petite girls with narrow hips and flat tummies, and that makes up a not-insignificant part of my wardrobe. And not only am I flattered by cheap things, for well or for ill, my overarcing philosophy of dressing is that skin never goes out of style, (heehee) so I tend to let my bare legs or shoulders or midriff make the most of the outfit. I like pretty shoes in theory, I guess, but it's usually so easy to hurt my feet that I mostly stick with sneakers. Never have been big on accessories, though I kind of like belts and have gotten slightly more interested in scarves lately. So I've never had any problem with cheap versus expensive clothes.

Unfortunately, I am not completely free of any taste for pricier stuff. I love leather and suede, particularly when it comes to jackets and shoes. I wear pretty expensive jeans, as stupid as that sounds, but I wear them every day, and the cheaper stuff just wears out too fast. Also, my favorite kind, Lucky Brand, actually has size zeroes with petite-length legs. I love the stylishness of Express when it comes to dressier clothes, and to a slightly lesser degree Banana Republic. Looking through my closet, I am actually surprised at the frequency of those and other more upscale labels; there's even a BCBGMaxazria sweater in there that I have no idea where I got. But my drawers consist mostly of Mossimo, a surprising amount of American Eagle that I don't actually remember ever buying, and Gap leftover from when I was younger but still fits. Basically, if it's on a hanger, it's something upscale, and if it's in a drawer, it's on the cheaper end.

God knows I love looking good. Nice clothes really help with that; they can disguise a lot of flaws. But you can find nice clothes that don't cost a trillion dollars just for a mighty label, and frankly, I think you'd do better to start working out and taking care of yourself and having fewer flaws to disguise then to spend more cash on clothes. And yes, while I sometimes dream about dressing all the men in my life in nothing but Hugo Boss, I certainly don't think that clothes make the man. Or, of course, the woman.